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Birth Date: 1993-08-30
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After that u call him husband… he s not rly. If i were u i ll start packing and go to my parents or bf because my “home” is not safe anymore. I hope u can solve it sh. Respect :s
Does this mean have a girlfriend?
If you want to date him. Just ask him out on a date. We men are not into innuendo.
If you can’t emotionally handle your boyfriend being away for a few days after TWO MONTHS then you need some serious help. It’s not like he’s going to the moon. Cell phones exist. You can still talk and text. Unless you were living together, I doubt you were seeing each other every day anyway.
I mean this genuinely and with care OP – get some therapy to work on your codependency issues. Look up anxious attachment style. This will continue to happen in your relationships if you don’t confront the issue head on.
the west is so fucked that this is an actual thing?
She texted you to go out as friends and you're married? Dude, no body is stupid here. No grown man needs to be finding friends and then you don't even talk to your wife? Smh. Some of you men are the absolute worse! You're supposed to go to school, then work, study, hang with your wife then study, rinse and repeat. Dates and going out are with wife and other married friends. Smh.
I honestly won’t! I really like his family and I feel like I’ve got them things they’ll appreciate and enjoy
Honestly…everyone sucks! Your husband for cheating then introducing his AP to you. Spencer’s for knowing that’s his now wife was the AP. AP for even being friends with you knowing she slept with your husband. Girl, the friendship will not be the same, now that you know everything. Go ahead & cut these people off.
I think you’re really just angry at being cheated on. But instead of channelling the anger to the right place, ie your husband, you’ve chosen to make Elinor the bad guy. She didn’t know your husband was married when she dated him. There isn’t a world where she was in the wrong. You not wanting to be friends with her is understandable but be aware that you will lose your friendship with Spencer. All you’ll have left is your cheating husband who continued lying to you. Spencer and Elinor spoke to Will about telling you the truth. They were under the impression that you knew because your husband told them so. If anyone is lying to you it is your husband. Good luck!
Yea everyplace is different but adults don’t have yellow belts at any of those places. Unless you took it when u were a kid and came back as an adult but you probably would’ve become a white belt instead.
FreshandFit podcast….. listen and you’ll learn so much. Everything will start to connect. Girls want men with experience. Girls want everything and more when it comes to having expectations for a man. If you don’t meet them at some point. She will leave you. A ticking time bomb. Seems like yours is about to explode. Now you are hanging by a string. She has you by the balls and girls neevr find that attractive
so I can take my trans partners penis anally or orally and it's considered straight?
Something ops romantic interest didn't do, BTW. Unacceptable.
Looking back. I’m much better off today. I didn’t think that was possible back when I was going through the chaos. But I more than landed on my feet. I never thought I would get over my ex. But I truly have. I know this because now I actually hope the best for her. It was almost a blessing in disguise that we divorced. But time will help you to realize this as well. Initially I didn’t want to let her go. For years I stayed in an unhealthy relationship just so I could hold on to whatever I could. It was an emotional drain.
I’m happy that we divorced because I would have otherwise spent my life with a person that i could no longer trust. And she puts her selfish desires ahead of her morals.
FYI: she was my high school gf. We dated for 5-6 years until we married in our early 20’s. She had a banging body. The marriage literally lasted 3 months before she cheated. I think she got scared of not experiencing more of life. ? but life goes on after divorce. Good luck
OP fell in love with another dude she isn't even attracted to. Imagine if the guy was good looking. Someone will be. Please let your boyfriend find someone who sucks less.
Men can absolutely quit looking at porn, 100%. But it takes an EXTREME amount of work and effort EVERY SINGLE DAY to overcome that addiction, especially since the “drug” is available 24/7 and is free and is So easily accessible. Takes two seconds to get it and it's in your possession 24/7.
Her partner has been “addicted his whole life” and after two months and a therapy session, says he's clean? Not happening. Has she seen any withdrawal symptoms? Can he prove it to her? Is he completely transparent? No? He's not clean and I'd put money on that
My husband said this and then one day I just was like FYou I’m farting. He still calls me gross. But we have been married 14 years now. Your husband sounds like he needs lessons about women. Does he period shame you too?
Take the test to shut him up. Ez.
Go no contact. Leave if you have to.
What did you want from this post? For people to Bash your boyfriend or…..?
Yes she was she came to see me the following month we went to a concert together and she played in my face like nothing happened a month after she got the abortion
Doesn’t matter what he played, the point is they all changed in the same room and no one cared because everyone involved had enough maturity to understand the difference between changing for an event and whatever weird thing this guy seems to think is going on. And yes, I do know they all changed in the same room. When I did soccer we all changed together too (in front of the gay kids as well) and again, it was all good and the only one who cared was my homophobic mother. Mature people can handle simple things like that.
Leave. This is insane.
My dad got really upset and dropped him off at home.
That seems like a pretty far stretch from the “altercation” that is mentioned in the title. Hell, he was even nice enough to drive the guy home.
Everyone here seems to be hating on cops and how the dad responded to the situation, but it seems to me that, although upset, he acted quite rationally.
we would either stop cause he would get soft and didn't want to continue or when we would be done, he'd go straight to do some other thing
Good and bad sex is the responsibility of all parties involved. If it's bad, he's just as much to blame, yet is blaming you. He's purposely making you feel bad to make you insecure and uneasy to make you more malleable.
He said that he feels that I don't please him, that at times it feels like we're having sex just to have sex and that he's the one putting in effort.
Now that you're sufficiently feeling bad and insecure, he puts the blame for bad sex on you.
Another thing to point out is that he has been asking me a lot of “negative” questions regarding our relationship
This smells either of a “love test” (google it) or testing the waters to see how locked down he has you.
It is common among manipulators (and abusive relationships) that the behavior escalates the more locked down the victim is (such as moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, having child). Similarly, manipulative people will frequently test to see how much control they have before escalating behavior and will back off if they don't feel sufficiently in control.
He's also opened up to me about his sexual fantasies, which include threesomes,
…and the other shoe drops. This is where it's always been going. He's wearing you down in order to get you to agree to whatever he wants. Threeway – sure? Open relationship – why not? All in the name of not being bored and keeping his interest.
He said that if we're planning on staying together for a long time, that it would probably get boring sexually-wise.
He's laid it out right here. If you don't agree, he's not interested in a long-term relationship. This is probably the only honest and sincere thing he's ever said.
All the other questions and behaviors such as blaming you for the bad sex, stopping in the middle, ambushing you with not being satisfied were all leading to this.
Does he spend as much time discussing YOUR sexual and emotional needs?
we've talked in detail about our long-term relationship goals
Well, except for the small detail about your relationship becoming boring sexually unless…
I dunno. depends on country. I on-line in Montreal where full contact is the norm.
Right? Like, public bathroom? Or Kitchen? Or public kitchen!
Well, if I was in your shoes, I'd be doing exactly the same thing, but you're not in a relationship. You're not able to deal with the baby right now. I would definitely go with termination. I would also not tell him about it and probably stop seeing him, too, of course.
No one has mentioned this that I've seen but you literally called your fiance average in appearance. I get the jealousy but in my opinion everyone deserves to be with someone who thinks they're attractive. Would you be upset if you heard him call you average looking?
Everything in this relationship is a mess. Cut your losses and find someone who can put the energy into the relationship. There is no respect in this relationship.
Him and his band mate are trauma bonded. You will NEVER split them apart. Its completely understandable for you to not want that but you have to understand their relationship is completely unique and you will never relate to it. Whether they're codependent still or not is up for interpretation, but regardless you won't change it. Shes family. You're not yet.
Also keep in mind, there is no reason to small to break up with someone, regardless of what anyone says. If you have a boundary and its been broken, regardless of what it is, the only person keeping you in that situation is you (abusive relationships aside). Have some self respect and leave
Yes. In the long term it’s unwise to become so attached, which is something I was contending with and he was gently advising against as well. So in a way this is for the best because it does force me to detach and move on in a healthier way. Prior to this incident I had enjoyed our time together because I hadn’t felt unsafe before.
Get a pre natal DNA test don’t wait.
So he is a whiny poor loser, who embarrasses you in front of your friends; he thinks it is acceptable to lay hands on you and forcibly cover your mouth during an argument; and he thinks it is acceptable to grab the head of the driver of a vehicle.
The first part is pretty pathetic and not an attractive trait.
The second is a red flag for intimate partner violence – any attempt to forcibly cover a partner’s mouth or hold it shut during an argument is an extremely bad sign. It is not many steps from choking or restricting breathing, which is a direct risk indicator for someone who will escalate to lethal violence. Even a very brief use of this tactic should be looked at as no less a danger sign than if he had straight up punched you. It really is that serious.
The third part shows his inability to control his emotions over a sport is not a surface issue or the result of a bad day; he has no sense of proportionate response and no ability to regulate his anger with respect to appropriate behaviour in context, and that goes for situations in which his actions are physically dangerous to himself, others and those around him.
You need to get away from this guy. He is bad, bad news.
Have you tried therapy, OP? I think a professional would be better qualified to deal with this situation, personally.
I wish I could be there to watch it, Dr. ughhhhh. I'll bet a lot of ppl on this thread would be there if they could.
You deserve that walk. You deserve all the flowers. It's a damn shame your family don't want to be the ones to give you your flowers, because this is one hell of an achievement. I pity them, and all that they have missed on this journey with you. They don't deserve to reach the destination with you, either. Go fucking slay (not literally!) ??
Hey bud, no need to die. This sounds like a toxic relationship, it’s pretty common at your age and especially when you get into relationships with unstable people. I think you already know that you need to leave for your own good. Don’t let her trip you up. Cut contact with her so you don’t have any reason to think of her and move on. You’ll be ok.
One woed. Pussy.
Why are you dating a racist?
Except she always lies to avoid discomfort so why would this be any different.
Serious question: have you ever wondered what other lies she tells you to avoid discomfort?
You need to explain to your girlfriend that her friend assaulted you in the morning while you were asleep. Cheating requires intent and consent, neither of which you gave. When you realized what was happening you stopped the activity. Your girlfriend may not accept this explanation but it is the truth and it is how you should frame it. If you don't say something, the friend is going to have leverage over you as long as you're around and it might turn into a situation where she threatens to tell your GF a fabricated story unless you do what she wants.
This isn't “accidentally cheating”, this is sexual assault. You did not consent. You need to tell your gf because even though they're long term friends, she disrespected you AND your gf. Please muster up the courage to tell your gf.
⚠️Be aware the friend can lie and twist the blame onto you.⚠️
My suggestion to avoid this: get proof in writing. Text her friend asking why she initiated sex when you were unconscious and why she thinks her birthday entitles her to any sexual acts. It's risky, but if she responds in a way that confirms she is the perpetrator then it can serve as proof. Again, be aware of the risks in doing this — you may not get a confession. Only a suggestion, don't do this if you're uncomfortable.
If you still want a way to get some sort of evidence to back up your side, we can try to brainstorm other methods.
__ Break the stigma: men can be victims of sexual assault and it shouldn't be taken lightly.
They’re not “her insecurities.” They’re the consequences of your actions.
You wanted to continue a relationship with your wife. This is what your relationship looks like now. You destroyed all trust. It’s going to take YEARS of active work on yourself and your relationship to repair that, if it even can be repaired.
It seems like you don’t actually want to put in the work. If you do, get into a bunch of therapy, read some books about what infidelity does to a marriage, and accept that your wife is not going to simply pretend it never happened since you “convinced” her to stay.
You think i should've talk to both of them at the same time? Or not at all? I understand now that it was not a good idea
Lol this is hilarious
You fucked up by watching them. No good could come from that, and you should have known that.
She didn’t do anything wrong and you know that too. She had no obligation to you or anyone else, she made her money, and she did it all on her own terms.
Now it’s all you. You need to go to therapy and figure out how to get over this. Don’t take it out on her. She doesn’t deserve it and you’ll destroy your marriage.
Good luck.
Literally I don't want any of it!! Staying masked.
Print the entire thing if you can. Sometimes going the extra mile is worth the effort to make a point. You want the mass, not just a number on the page showing the amount of texts.
How are you even questioning what to do next? If you stay, you are complicit, plain and simple. You're giving tacit approval of his behaviour.
Idgaf if their weaker. If it was a man who was weaker starting shit would it be pathetic to put him in his place also? I've never initiated a physical altercation in my life. But I've finished every one of them. You'd probably be the bitch that goes on reddit and asks instead of just handling too huh?
True , i think the closest thing to a complaint ive ever gotten was how she felt insecure i got on with another person very well.
Sounds like you two aren't compatible
If you actually value your marriage, you need to cut off contact. You don't need to address her husband since there wasn't more than an emotional affair but the waters were tested.
Get to therapy, sort your shit out and I wouldn't tell your wife in the middle of pregnancy but eventually you should have this conversation.
If you consistently tell him the issues and he says that he’ll do better but doesn’t then they’re might just not be any point to continuing to address the problems
Instagram and tik tok, we both don’t use much social media