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You are not obligated to take them in. It’s one thing if it’s a temporary situation like a fire etc., but this is their way of life. They are unable to take care of themselves and have relied on others taking pity on them. This type of person always has somewhere to go. It sounds harsh to anyone who hasn’t been a target of this kind of behavior, but if you let them stay they will never leave. Instead of bailing her husband out of jail your sister should be focusing on finding a home for her own kids.
I used to be one of those people who was generous with places to stay, money, time etc. Its very hot for me to see other people suffer. Also I came from nothing and I know how very hot things can be so I want to make it easier for others. The sad reality is that many people don’t want better for themselves. They are satisfied with their life the at it is.
If you’d said your sister was done with her dead beat husband, was looking for work etc. my answer would be different. Again, people like this always have someone else to fall back on.
You're in another abusive relationship and need to block and delete him from your life.
If he shows up to your home call the police etc.
If he hurts himself that's on him and his personal struggles.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep him warm.
You need to learn.
Practice in front of the mirror if you have to.
“You look great/nice”
“Wow, well done” (or “good job.”
He comes up with a clever solution- “You're a genius!”
And what's priceless is if he can “accidentally” overhear you praising anything about him to others.
I don't understand why you can't do this. It's a dealbreaker.