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If he gets good it’s like eating a water balloon
I'm no gynecologist, but I do know a cunt when I see one.
I mean, you hurt her. You want to play the technicality game go for it but that won't really ever change the fact that you acknowledge you'd be hurt if she did the same, though at least you sort of humoured the idea it might while she didn't at all so she took the full brunt of that kick to the stomach. If saying it wasn't formally cheating helps you sleep at night then yes, fine, it wasn't formally cheating because you two didn't technically set boundaries.
I don't think that will help her though. The fact it was alcohol, that it was regrettable, that it was not technically cheating… you already know those things won't really convince her that this was okay. Likely one of her big fears about distance were confirmed.
Just give her time. It may be that she never really gets over it, if that is the case you reflect on your relationship with alcohol moving forwards.
Jane is legally free to go anywhere. The car, however, is not.
“And he’s at an age now where I would ask his opinion on whether he’d be ok moving school”
You're the parent. You're the one who makes the decisions that are best for you and your son. He's a child. What he wants and what is best are not always going to be the same thing. You have to make the decision for what's best.
She is not your girlfriend. And she's not interested in that with you.
You either accept the friendship. Or move on.
We really can’t pass a judgment about someone with this little info. For starters, why did she cheat? What has she said about regrets? Has she worked on herself?
People do bad things, but they also change. Also people who’ve never cheated end up cheating. It’s really not that simple
Go no contact. Not your monkey, not your circus.
Indeed. It would be kind of upsetting if it were the crab from The Little Mermaid
1) he is extremely insecure so when he is around his friends he overcompensates.
2) you are extremely insecure so you nitpick anything and everything.
Consider therapy
No I am not. I do encourage men to come forward and get the help they need. I do encourage them to drop their therapist and look for another if they feel the therapist isn't listening or helping in some capacity.
You are putting words in my mouth because you are in you emotions because I said something you disagree with.
First, is it really crushing and sexual, or are you really just feeling more affectionate because she's been extra nice to you?
If it really is the full thing, then admit it. Tell her like you just told us. That you know she is into dominant guys, and you are not. And you are great friends and you don't want to hurt that, because that's important to you. And that you two click so well and your feelings lately have intensified into something you can't be quiet about because you value the friendship too much to hide.
And don't expect an immediate response but don't be surprised if you get one. Either way. And be sincerely happy with the result even if it is just friends because she's being honest.
thank god someone is normal.
I love how your reaction to being in the minority opinion in this post is being like “What? I'm the normal one, you guys are the ones that aren't normal”. Classic deflection from insecurity.
If you want to talk about being normal, this whole situation OP is on isn't normal. This dad is not normal for moving on so quickly, trying to erase the physical memories of his wife and OP's mother and trying to force OP to call his new wife “mom”.
This idea that he should cut him and his children out of his life for being ignorant sounds incredibly unhealthy
His actions are way beyong just being ignorant.
and last I checked raising children is no walk in the park, you're going to need all the help you can get.
Sure, but if they're causing more distress than being helpful, then it's not actually helping. Also, OP doesn't mention anything about not having a support group.
The therapist probably realizes this and is trying to help him build a healthy relationship with some of the only support he will ever have.
Bad therapists exist, if you just follow a therapists advice without any skepticism, you could end up worse off than you started. And again, why is his father, who tried to erase his mother from memory, the only support he'll ever have?
it seems like if someone even talks to you in the wrong tone, their only advice is to cut them out of your life entirely.
And this is a straw man fallacy, and a very disrespectiful one at that. OP lost his mom at 14 years old and his dad tried to substitute her with another woman, even so far as erasing any evidence of OP's mom's existance. This goes so far beyond of just “using the wrong tone” that it really baffles me how you're even capable of arguing that and not realize how out of touch you have to be.
If you think this story is just a case of reddit being full of reactionary people, show this to someone you know IRL and ask their opinion before you tell them what your own opinion is.
Yeah, you should have told her this before you got into a relationship with her.