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You’re right
Go no contact, spend time with your friends and family, make new friends or go new places, just get busy exploring positive things.
Do what you think she will be comfortable with , she may not be comfortable in front of everyone. I'm wishing you both many happy years together full of love, happiness and laughter.
Wow! Inflammation can be persistent. I had a friend whose teenaged son needed a similar surgery and it was no joke, glad you’re doing well now!
Good for you. I recommend you buy yourself some independence flowers every goddamn week to remind you that you are WORTH buying flowers for and everyone who doesn't get that isn't worth you.
That said, when you break up with this guy for elevating weaponized incompetence to impressive new levels, don't be surprised if he swears to change, buys you flowers, and tries to convince you it'll be like this in the future. He's lying.
When I was in college, I was signing paperwork for an apartment and the girl that came in to hand me an initial document struck me in a crazy way. I don’t know her name, I never saw her again, I’m mostly straight, but to see her I was just smitten. I remember calling my boyfriend after like “I love her? Kelly maybe? Ashley? I dunno, this is so weird.” After thirty minutes of him sadly thinking he lost me, he finally realized a) it wasn’t going anywhere and b) this was just a weird human thing that happened. I wasn’t going to hunt down Kelsey or Julie or whatever her name was, strike up a relationship, and set sail. I was just being honest in this weird brain chemistry that happened with a total stranger that I never saw again.
Sometimes you just click with someone, even if they’re not you’re type, or they’re bad for you, or whatever. You’re absolutely right that it’s what you do with those feelings that matter. You can think an actor or actress is attractive but that doesn’t mean you leave your spouse to fly to LA and hope to meet them. You just…go on, living your life. Work on your marriage.
If your house catches fire in the kitchen you don’t just walk outside and hope it doesn’t burn the whole place down while you keep throwing gasoline on it
If you don't break things off, one day you'll realize that this was a huge red flag. By then it'll be too late because he'll have really hurt you.
Thank you.
As you told it thrice we actually understood your point.
All I wanted to inform you about is that being Autistic is precisely no excuse for anything as there are means to get around that.
The boy I worked with certainly was no low level autist. As a child he never interacted with his environment and had even gotten very violent towards his mother later on.
But even then, if there is a willingness to cooperate there is a way to figure out the other personse expectancies and figure out a way to comply.
LOL Too true! When I (59/f) was a preteen, I used to go to Church with my Aunt, her cheating husband, my Uncle-by-marriage and my 4 Cousins, youngest was a baby still breastfeeding.
There was a woman who can only be described as a floozy, total man-shark! She was newly divorced and VISIBLY on the prowl, very inappropriate low-cut (sometimes see-through) blouses/short, tight skirts or body-hugging dresses.
She HIT on every man, whether they were married or not, young or old while dragging her 2 young children along with her to witness her embarrassingly sexual displays. I certainly was embarrassed for her children.
I don't know if anything untoward actually happened between this woman and my “Uncle” but I DO know that shortly after she set her sights on my Uncle, they moved a couple of States away. Their marriage only lasted another 5 years or so.
I went to a few more different churches on my own after they moved but was always astonished that there was at least one such woman in attendance at each. To this day I'm still not sure if these women THOUGHT they were subtle or not, but if it was obvious to ME at such a young age, so the “grownups” HAD to be aware!
It's just ONE of the many reasons that I stopped participating in “organized” religion. I think church is a great place to meet a partner, but HOPEFULLY they aren't someone else's at the time!
If she were sweet to you, your parents would notice. They might say, well, she’s irresponsible & rough around the edges, but she’s so wonderful to our boy. Hopefully, she’ll mature eventually.
Instead, they think she’s a brat.
I'm petty and vindictive, so I would tell him everything, screenshots, pictures, and chats. Everything. Sometimes, you've got to stand up for yourself and not let people get away with hurting you. And why shouldn't she have consequences for causing another person harm?
Don’t get married if you’re already unhappy about a major component of a relationship/ major. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker.
See all of your responses on this thread.
A man who was good in bed wouldn't be so determined to defend a man who sucks in bed. You see your own behaviour in his, ergo you defend him, ergo you suck in bed. All the proof I need.
If you don't think it proves it stick it on your dating profile. “I think it's acceptable for women to feel used and disgusting after sex and don't think it's something to break up over.” See how many women you have lining up.