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That makes you an asshole. It is dangerous for someone to disclose they are trans. They're not “hiding essential information”, they're trying to protect themselves.
I'm gonna be brutally honest with you. It doesn't sound like either of you are mentally or emotionally mature enough to be friends post-relationship. Stop treating her like she's your girlfriend.
As for her, it sounds like she wants to keep you as a backup while she does what she wants. I mean seriously, she's too “mentally bad” for a relationship with you but not for someone else?
Run.