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Birth Date: 1984-06-24
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Dump this woman. She very clearly doesn't give a shit about how she's making you feel and even going so far to take every advantage to have a jab at you regarding something you literally can do nothing about without having surgery of some kind.
Furthermore, the fact she's asking to see other dudes dicks while in a relationship shows she knows no boundaries. Who knows how often she talks about your size to her friends to the point they're showing her other people's private parts.
You'll find someone who will think your size is amazing just the way it is and won't want to change a thing about you.
Definitely a predatory thing then. It's one thing if they JUST met (less than a year ago at most)… would be barely passable (maybe…a big maybe.) But in this case it's a definite nope.
Time to let this dumpster fire go. This is not a good or healthy relationship for you.
This comment resonates so much with me. I was spanked a few times as a kid and used to think it might be ok to do to my own children if they bit me or touched a naked stove for example. My parents also occasionally swatted our dog or cat if they hurt us and I have found myself doing it to my own cat a few times.
But seeing all the studies about how IT DOESNT WORK and how it is simply abuse, has started to open my eyes that I need to deprogram myself. Other people really don't understand how automatic and thoughtless the reaction is.
I will need my own mantra I guess. “Stop. Breathe. Choose patience over violence.”
Yes, there are different reasons too.
The first type are guys who experiment with girls just to make sure that they are actually gay.
The second type are “The Only Exceptions”. These are gay guys who might eventually become open to a girl if they have created a deep emotional connection with each other.
The last type are guys who claim to be 99% gay, this means that they would mess around with a girl if there is absolutely no guy available.
You knew the deal very early on in the relationship. She was determined to have at least two children. You continuing the relationship without saying anything otherwise was essentially an agreement. You know very well that if you said no to kids or only one kid that she would have left you years ago.
She agreed to a relationship where she will have multiple children, you now have decided to not have the second child so she's going to find a relationship that meets what you originally agreed to. It's okay for you to change your mind but know that it's you who's the cause for the relationship ending. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean you're the harmed party. She's the one whose soon to be ex wasn't honest with her when he changed hoping it would be too late for her to leave.
Erm that doesn’t signify the end of the relationship. It’s ends WHEN YOU SAY IT ENDS. He ended it.
And in most cases in reality you can’t just high tail out of there with everything packed in neat little boxes. What reality do you on-line in?
Well you are 20 I don't think you have any kids. So make some time and go to gym. Maybe you can go together
You've only given birth again 4 months ago, cut yourself some slack. It will get better. I felt like this and had bad PPD, but it got better when little one went to nursery.
You have both been under an enormous amount of stress. If it's in your budget, I think therapy together is the right answer. The love is there, it's just the spark that needs to be relit.
You really think that what your doing is right? You know he is married. You really think someone that's cheating will be faithful to you. You can't change people.
Talk to him he prob thinks he hurt you reassure him
How about setting some limits on going out and drinking?
If the world worked this way I'd turn into a full blown minimalist. 🙁
Tell her you’re converting one of the rooms into an art studio for one of your friends. If she’s on Reddit, she’ll know what that means. Hopefully she will understand what that means.
You’re right
This is alarming what is a 25 year old doing with a 18-19 year old ? Predatory behaviour. I find it funny you expect her to be mature when she’s barely even an adult lmao.
No, you. You are the one who is accusing her of 'toxic moodiness'.
Setting yourself age goals puts yourself under way too much pressure if you’re already feeling like this. Life doesn’t suddenly change at 30, things happen when they happen, and you often find that partners and opportunities come along when you least expect it. Just try to enjoy life for what it is now and the rest will come later.
Lots of people aren’t having kids until mid-late 30s these days anyway. I’m 30 and kids aren’t even on my radar right now. Plus, 4 years is plenty of time even if you are set on getting it done before then. Just don’t feel like you have to rush yourself, enjoy your life as an independent person while you can.
It’s impossible cos drugs is illegal in PH but idk
You made the right choice.
he kept saying that he didn’t realize I was this serious
So he doesn't that you mean what you say? That might be worse.
he thought we’d work through it when it finally came out or he’d have grown the balls to cut her off by then
Translation: He thought he could make you agree with his point of view. You were crystal clear, gave him a reasonable timeline to work toward, and he just…didn't care. He cared about what Britt wanted and what he wanted.
Remember that any “we continued to fall even more for each other” only happened because he decided to lie to you and prioritise someone else. Whatever this is that you're mourning (which it's ok to do) is based on a lie.
I take care of pretty much all the household chores for the both of us as well as for our cats. Her mental health is abysmal and suffers from mental illnesses. She can't work, and since we're married, she can't claim disability. I never agreed to any of this, but if things don't go her way, she ideates or attempts suicide.
So, he sees this girl everyday, has lunch with her everyday, and since they can't get enough of each other text all through the remaining hours of the day.
You say, he brings her over to the house? Because the work day isn't long enough for them? That they are so loyal to their work?
Sounds like a relationship and an emotional affair. You should wisen up.
Read the book “not just friends” by Shirley Glass.
What
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I’ve been in a very complicated partnership with someone who has consistently said he’s separated from his ex wife however hasn’t being honest at times. He has at times slept with both of us and lied about it and done things like lied to me about having lunch in her house last week, saying it’s because of my reactions and he can’t do it anymore.
They have two kids together, she is not supportive of my relationship with him and has accused me of wanting to harm her children for ZERO reason as well as sent letters to my house saying if I have this child I’m pregnant with, it will never be allowed on their property or to meet the children etc.
He does not stay in their home at all at the moment but recently he’s gone to a fair with her and the kids, when he’s taken the kids to dinner he also takes her, they drove together an hour to an event for their son’s school and when he’s with her he doesn’t message me or tell me he loves me like usual. Yesterday he worked on their property and then went inside for dinner, saying his kid begged him to. This was after he told me he’d stop having dinner with her and the kids. When I get anxious he says I’m unreasonable and trying to stop him seeing his kids but I have suggested multiple times that the fear is in his past lying and in that when you’re separated you do things separately- as I fear it’s also confusing for their children if they do dinners together etc.
This morning I’m vomiting and haven’t even heard from him to see if I’m okay or how I’m doing. He’s taken himself to the property to pick flowers with his daughter and then will be working there with his ex wife present. His ex brings towels to his apartment and looks for my hair to accuse him of having me there. But he states we are in a monogamous relationship- he told me he misses living in the house with his kids and making them breakfast but doesn’t miss her.
I know having a good relationship is important for their kids but I just don’t think it’s necessary for them to be going to dinners together and especially because she says things like she wishes I never happened etc. one minute she tells him to leave her alone the next he’s having dinner in their home. It makes me insecure and to feel unsafe. But I also want to be reasonable. The problem is he’s lied about dealings in the past and simple stuff like having lunch with her. So trust is naked.
What is normal in a relationship for separation? How do I deal with this situation and help him see my side?
Why exactly did you open the relationship? And whose idea was it?
Yes, you have a right to be upset. Your personal, private life is not supposed to be gossip for her friends.
I agree with this. Doesn’t hurt to ask but don’t chase someone who’s taken.
Sounds like he was ready to bang that woman, and you just be a bystander in his fantasy. When the tables were turned he threw a tantrum. What a strange encounter. And now he’s mad at you? And defending his colleague who’s being nasty to you? Nah, move on from this tool bag.
?? you just stay real quiet on that car ride and let the guilt hurt him and be really clear that you will tell his GF if he doesn't. Do the right thing OP even if it is super naked. Stay strong.
Unethical, lying, and just plain dumb. Appeal to his decency by trying to bluff and lie to him? Gtfoh with that garbage.
That's reddit for you, the anonymity allows that even more…
So you get to dictate how she nourishes her baby now?
I know it’s her baby, but it is my grandbaby! That’s got to mean something doesn’t it? And to not even be allowed to care for my very own grandbaby!!! I’m devastated
Once he cheated by sucking some random guys d*ck, his mental health isn't your problem.
Your mental health trumps his. He should have thought about you leaving him BEFORE he cheated.
Go see a lawyer and if he threatens to hurt himself, call 911. But do not let him guilt you into staying.
The fuck does that even MEAN?????
His “therapist” hasn't helped shit if this 53-year-old is incapable of hearing his long-term, pregnant partner ask for “commitment” just in the form of actual monogamy without “shutting down.”
I think the time for worrying about how to coddle this man-child is long past. You really need to be willing to step up for what you and your children need, here.
Honesty is always best.
Would you still want the tattoo you proposed in college?
Savior complex is a helluva drug and not worth it every single time. Partner w someone on your level. Hobbies are for projects not people.
You've joined this family in the middle of the story and people feel compelled to do all sorts of things to keep their exes from making trouble. You're new here and this woman has already established the pattern she feels is necessary to maintain her child custody and avoid conflict. So if you don't like what she has to do to stay safe, stay out of family court and keep her child support flowing then you'll need to remove yourself from the situation. Coparenting with a violent ex is walking a tightrope and if she's managed to find an equilibrium that's best for her kids it's just not your place to try to disrupt that.
Introduce her to your wife. There you go. Solved.
You're allowed to feel however you feel, it's really about what's important to you. I will say getting into a new relationship 3 months after a breakup from a 5 year long relationship sounds rushed- like going on a long trip and not even emptying your luggage before you're onto the next trip, eventually your luggage gonna stink. People are kinda like that with emotions, we need time to unload and deal with our baggage after a breakup- even the amicable ones. Plus the quality of the former relationship really isn't a pertinent detail, no one breaks up because everything is too good.
Regarding what they talk about, or understanding why they keep in contact-is there an answer you'd feel okay about?
You're 21 years old, dating should be fun- not serious.
You’re not dating a real person. You’re with a fake image of a person that they want you to see.
This is definitely behaviour that is not okay. Just think long run: Do you really want to grow old with this person and potentially raise a family with him (if a family is in the plan) but regardless, grow old with a man as gross and twisted as he is? You can do much better OP, and you deserve much better. I wouldn’t even wish my worst enemy to be with someone as sleezy as this guy.
In addition to this, regardless of if he’s ACTUALLY sending these nudes to his friends (which is wrong and disgusting on its own), he’s actively going out there to find naked pictures of other women and looking at them. No guy would ONLY go around asking for nudes for his friends.
On top of that, I can only imagine the horrendous comments him and his friends make about these women’s bodies if he’s sending them to her
OP, do yourself a favour and leave the RS in the past. You can and will find someone who loves and respects you as well as other women and people in general.
Be strong. You got this.
You don't communicate this to her!
Definitely not communicating to her anything about this. For now there is nothing to discuss anyhow.
If you tell her, you will likely cause her unnecessary pain. She's not well, you don't want to add to her burden. You take good care of her and you procure what you need for yourself and keep both your lives in an imperfect harmony. You are right to worry less sex might ruin your relationship.
I wouldn't think of brining it up until she's better. But I wonder if she could figure it out on her own. I call it woman's intuition. Probably not now but in the future if this became a longer term problem what's she gonna think? Will she really believe I would abstain long term? I doubt that. But then would I admit what I would probably end up doing? It might get ugly. Or would it end up being a don't ask, don't tell type of thing?