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1. Wait, you're a little unclear on some important details. It wouldn't matter much, but you asked AITH, and motives matter more for that.

   So, you said that he has physical difficulties and your size that make having sex difficult.

   That looks like you're saying that, when you have tried to have sex, it either wasn't successful (meaning penetration and at least one orgasm for someone, as an arbitrary point of success), and/or had some after effect from the sex. By after effect, I mean something like extra pain, numbness, or other physical impact as well as any emotional/psychological ones if it was successful but not good.

   Is his decreased attraction part of why sex isn't working, or only a hindrance to getting started?

   You say you've discussed the issue, and he admitted to attraction being a factor. There's not as much info in there as would be helpful from this end in determining if you'd be an asshole to want to divorce.

   Admitting tends to occur after being asked. Did he resist saying it? If so, did he ever say why he was resisting saying it? If he didn't, what was his demeanor when he said it?

   Secondary to that, you mention going down on him. Are there other ways you're being physically intimate that provide you with orgasm and a sense of intimacy? If there isn't, is there a reason why other than your weight?

   Now, all of that matters if you really want an AITH answer. With what you've given, it would be either neither of you are assholes, or you both are. There's no real indication that either of you is acting wrongly, it just isn't working right as things are.

   Which, again, only matters for an AITH answer.

   When it comes right down to it, nobody has to stay with anyone. Often, it's better to end things sooner once a fundamental problem occurs to make it a more friendly parting and reduce pain for any kids involved. Like, if instead of fucking around for a year or two, bring letting bad feelings fester and turn you both into jerks that hate each other, divorce is a much less harmful thing.

   Nobody needs to be stuck with someone that doesn't find them attractive. There's a pretty damn fundamental issue. We're basically just a bunch of shaved monkeys, and if our mate doesn't actually want to mate with us, it breaks that primal need to be completed in that way. It hurts our inner ape. It's not less hurtful than cheating tbh. They both stab deep into our most primitive selves.

   So, if the issue is that big, then it doesn't matter if you're the asshole or not. It's still your right to pick your mate, or leave them.

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