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it’s just so nude to imagine life without her. i’ve been with her for 5 years and i love her very much. i don’t want to lose her you know
Imagine taking your kid on a trip with a dude you barely know. My maternal instinct is a -5 on a scale from 1 to 10 and I still wouldn’t risk it.
You are being too nude on yourself, mental health issues happen, mental breakdowns happen, one of my friends had a mental breakdown and ended up in a hospital for a week, she got physical with a few people including her boyfriend but he didn’t break up with him, he visited.
1) You can't force her to change, so dump her before you make the mistake of marrying her
2) These people aren't her “friends” she might delude herself into believing this, but the reality is they are at the very least wanting a FWB type relationship with her (probably they've figured she isn't long term relationship material either)
3) Find someone who respects your boundaries or at the very least sees things more or less the same way as you do
4) She's allowing these men to touch her because she has some kind of physical/mental attraction to them. More importantly because she isn't so fussed about losing you.
It’s a fantasy, dude. If you can’t separate the two, then that’s on you.
This idea, 100% approved. The world needs to know that she's a skank. Also maybe next time she'll think twice before trying to ruin a relationship
You get on tinder to hook up with people. So yes, she's cheating or at best is planning to.
That love triangle is going to turn to a full on circle.
Prioritize your sanity and find someone who won’t play with your feelings.
He's living in a fantasy world! Your job sounds great and really supportive of new parents! You make almost twice what he makes. If anyone should stay home, it's him. A whole year remote, and your baby could have both parents home for the hardest part! Which sounds incredible. There's plenty of stay at home dads.
You hate confrontation but if it turns out your friends are right that confrontation is going to be even worse. You gave us a very minimal post. Are there reasons your friends don’t trust him? How long have you been seeing him? You say you are meeting him at his place – their house or his bang apartment? If it’s at their house then I could see her already knowing. Either way it’s probably a troll post cuz any 21 yr old banging an almost 40 yr old man is nasty unless you’re a fan of Hugh Hefner types
I think that could be the case, yes. Which confuses me though despite him reiterating that he is bad at it
I’m confused, you’re accusing him of wearing a costume but then go on to say he’s gonna wear a suit. Which is it? Is the suit like, bedazzled with the Batman logo everywhere? Is he just gonna wear Superman cuff links and a tie clip? There’s a lot of room for interpretation here…
YIKES. Don’t do that OP. Unless you on-line in a cheesy romcom.
I don't think I'm having an emotional affair but if I had to choose between the two in terms of friendship, then my choice is my ex. I don't have any family, and my ex has always been there for me through the lowest of lows. Whilst I never want to be with him romantically his friendships means a lot to me and it's not something I can easily discard and don't know why my partner would be insisting on it knowing how much that would hurt me.
My husband and I have a 6 year age gap and met at a similar age/time frame.
I had a rough childhood and was out living on my own by 16, by the time I was 20 I’d lived a whole life, moved across the country twice, held jobs, paid my way etc. so maturity is really dependent on the individual and their experiences.
We’ve been together for 15 years and I cannot imagine my life without him, BUT we did have real conversations in the early dating period about when/if we wanted certain things, important things like, careers, marriage, kids etc. we were really clear about boundaries, expectations etc. This is super important when there is an age gap like ours/yours because everyone needs to be on the same page so there is no resentment. Luckily it all aligned for us, hopefully it does for you too.
No the distance was. I only told him what I thought and well he agreed
Someone can’t be forced to take more custody than they’re willing to, and it would be awful for the kids to be forced to be raised by an unwilling father.
Together for only a year. No, don't marry yet.
Why are people downvoting this? It's just the answer to a question right?
Yeah you definitely need to discuss this with her
You should understand that she's probably not being a good friend.
Either break off the friendship or start checking her on her comments.
Try taking things a little slower if you are looking for a lasting relationship. In the first twenty-four hours after meeting, you jumped into a physical relationship, met her parents and friends, and committed to each other. Take your time getting to know people and don’t rush the getting-to-know-you process.
Biding your time while you see just how far she will go, or whether she will come to her senses, sends the message that you will put up with far more than you ought to.
This guy suggested that dating you might be a bad idea and her response was to give that serious consideration. Your response to that should have been, “If you even have to think about that, you’re not committed, you’re out.”
God doesn’t want you to stay with her. Let him deal with her. They broke one of the commandments. Not you.
Yeah this. Also why did she stay with a guy who she says over and over isn’t “sane”?!
Sounds like shes done nothing thus far with either
It’s then his responsibility to step up and be a teammate and a partner. His “being socialized differently” is not an excuse for being an incompetent adult and mentally taxing partner.
If a grown man isn’t making doctors appointments for himself or sharing the financial and household responsibilities, as he should be expected to do, then how is his relationship going to thrive? How is he going to care for his partner if he’s not even caring for himself?
Having a higher standard for your relationships is not a bad thing. The right ones will step up and meet those needs. If they don’t, the relationship ends. He’s an adult, nearly 40, who is responsible for unlearning his bad habits and behaviors, and if he doesn’t and his relationships fail, it’s his fault for that.
So I disagree, at nearly 40, it is his fault. He’s had LOTS of time to correct the issues and work on them.
They’re currently 25 and 38. Five years ago they were 20 and 33. Half a year before that, they were 19.5 and 32.5. The age gap remains the same