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“Next time you’re going out you need to find a sofa to sleep on, because I’m locking the door, mate!” And that would be that. This is not normal behaviour, it’s nasty and no child should grow up in a pisshouse with a dad who can’t use common sense.
No no no no no do not just jump in and do a sex act on your girlfriend that she's already said she doesn't like.
This doesn't sound like a “doesn't know how to have an orgasm” scenario. It sounds like she is either stone or has a trauma history or both, and either prefers to please herself privately or just doesn't desire orgasms at all.
put into what position?
You done fuck up.
I quit reading when you said that you haven't even bought your child a birthday gift in two years. You are damaging your child because you lack the spine to deal with your wife.
How many times has he put his hands on you? Even one time is too many.
R/legaladvice
If I get the dates correct, she got pregnant by her ex while she was in relationship with you.
Now you don't need to talk to her. Send her a message telling her you know about her infidelity and abortion and it's disgusting (you don't need to tell her how you know, I mean you aren't together anyway), then tell her you know she was lying to you and talking to other men and purposely hiding it from you. Again, do not tell her how much you know and from where. If she wants to give you her excuse, it's her problem how much and from you know these things. Do not tell her anything more.
After that you can tell her she can send you her excuses, but tell her please leave you alone after that, because you can never trust her again in your life. If she keeps pestering you later on you can block her everywhere,it should help.
Thank you for the thoughtful reply, and yup, I answered no to all of them. Thank you so much again it gave me a lot of clarity.
I feel like my bf might not be very good at “doing the right thing” because he lacks experience. The other day he was picking me up from work and he told me, out of nowhere, that when we get married in a year and a half we should only have one car to reduce carbon footprint. I was dumbfounded because he never brought up marriage and stuff like that before, it seemed like a huge deal to me, but he was also very surprised at my reaction. Told me that to him is obvuous we'll get engaged in 6 months and then get married, because the other option is a breakup and he doesn't want to break up. Anyway, sorry to rant so much about myself, but it's just an example. There are many good things about him and he is sweet but those things just aren't as obvious and culturally significant as buying flowers or something.
“I ranted and talked shit about my girlfriend to another woman and now I want to try to love bomb her with gifts to fix it”
FTFY
No, I'm not really entertaining giving in to my wife's demands. I did want to check in here to see if there was any merit to my wife's concerns/fears. But ultimately I have no intention of withholding our child from my mom when it would just be cruel to do so.
My mom is truly amazing. She has overcome SO much adversity and continues to do so. And she deserves to know her grandchild.
“I understand the frustration” – is your boyfriend that tone deaf? Talking about someone killing others, there is no understanding anything. That's fucked up, end of point, doesn't matter who “started it”, revenge is never the solution so there's no way in hell you should feel that the sniper who killed cops had any frustration that needed to be understood
Not everything is gaslighting. It's just a good old fashioned lie but a harmless one.
With his nose, silly
I’m 22 and she is 30, but I’m not sure why that matters. We have a lot in common, and we happen to work together. We are both adults and have been amazing friends for 2 years.
Lots of people have friends that aren’t their “own age”. This seems kind of unnecessary to comment honestly. If your only friends are all strictly 30 just because you’re 30, well I don’t know what to tell you.
I promise you. Continuing this relationship, no matter what is already at stake, will bring 10 times the amount of pain in the future, than ending it right now.
If she doesn't find you attractive or anyone attractive and has just announced shes asexual. Then thats it. Its already over. There isn't much of an argument or options here. She is telling you now so you are prepared before you are married. “Be with me and be celibate, or leave”
I wish she would have told you this before you sunk money into this but this is her way of possibly getting you to stop doing so and make a final decision.
I am not sure it is reasonable.
If OP would be a homebody, it would definitely be reasonable. But OP is out almost all the time: job, sports, activities, bars. The Sundays afternoon is the time when she wants to rest. Just like the most of us, before starting a new week.
It is much more reasonable for a gf to plan a visit when OP is out – after all op plays basketball at least twice a week at the same time. Or, if Sundays are non negotiable, gf should to her friend's place.
It is gf desire and entertainment to meet with friends, it is what gf needs, so it is up to her to make some sacrifices.
You VERY clearly did favour and still favour your son. Look at the way you talk about her vs him.
You stupidly slept with a cheating married man.
You had his children.
You were cruel to your daughter.
You decided to leave the country and leave a dying cheater in the hands of your daughter.
You chose to spend money on your son and not her.
You now only want contact with her for money.
She grew up in spite of you, you awful, terrible mother.
I want to have plausible deniability if you know what I mean, something for me to answer now to delay the repetition of that question
he’s insecure because you got thinner and he is jealous and lazy himself
I don’t think the issue is the cleaning. I think the issue is that he is ordering you around, then getting angry with you when you don’t obey. Not to mention him radically changing what you discussed before moving in together. That’s not a healthy equal relationship. That’s him being in charge and you being his little servant. He has an underlying mindset that won’t change.
Time to move back with your parents.
I cook for my wife and make her snacks. But it’s something I choose to do because I like take care of her. It’s not something I do because she forces me through tantrums.
Yeah, that’s how I feel too.. when the house get started, I get really stressed out and so does he.
Those are some good ideas though! Haha so you don’t think I’m overreacting or being too harsh?
No, not a mistake, a mistake is when something happens that you didn't want to happen, he wanted it to happen.
being inconsiderate towards guests
Mate, reality check time. It's a baby's birthday at 11 am in the morning.
The only way a person could actually be put out by not having alcohol at that, is if they are a full fledged alcoholic.?
The fact he has you even questioning this, makes me think you need a little bit more distance from him so you can get a more normal perspective.
Frankly, this world is crazy. I just read ANOTHER story thus morning of another child under 10 years old purposely shot on purpose.
Dont play around and think you cant be the next headline that people talk about. Its just material goods. Your life is more important.
Give him those gifts back at his mom's house and tell him that if he contacts you again you will call the police and his mother about what hes done.
Then CHANGE your number. Dont just block his number. Move residence if you can. Carry nonlethal protection.
The break is ongoing, she says she will love me how she did once she isn't stressed at home, She lives out of town but we have been talking about going to the city once her exams are finished for a few nights then go back to mine, she has been telling me stuff like she can't wait to visit ect…