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You want to wait til marriage and he doesn’t. Your relationship is off because of this sexual mismatch/incompatibility. You should stay broken up.
Also to suggest he sleep around then come back to you is just foolish boo. Find someone that’s actually interested in waiting for marriage, because this dude’s probably not coming back. If he does, he’ll probably just cheat on you now that you’ve given him the go-ahead.
It’s not too much or rude. Relationships take work and effort. It’s okay to have needs in the relationship. Needs for appreciation, attention, effort, etc. are normal. You can have the needs and ignore them which will create resentment and pain in the relationship or communicate it early and try to work together to build a relationship that works for you both to feel loved and appreciated.
The saying “If I’m too much, go find less” right? Which is absolutely true. What’s too much for one person isn’t for someone else. If you need him to intentionally plan dates to feel appreciated, that’s what you need and that’s okay. If you need effort from him try to be explicit in what that looks like to you but it’s not too much to ask a partner to put some effort into the relationship.
Why you so pissed about bio realities? What nefarious thing do you thing has happened, aside from the fact that he has to wash your sheets?
Can you afford to rent a 30 day air b&b or some other short stay housing? Break up with her and tell her you have secured a spot for her to stay while she gets situated. If she has an attack call the ambulance and while she is there pack her bag of her immediate necessities so she can go to the new place once discharged and she can make arrangements to pick up the rest of her items with you. Change the locks and have a good friend with you when she comes to pack so he can diffuse the situation if she acts up again. Quit falling into the trap, be strong and do what you have to do.
Cause I want to fuck him lol I thought that was clear lol
there's consequences for being ugly too
Well in that case we would look for apartments where we would be allowed to keep pets. We still online independently with roommates
Well it’s not an excuse but it does not help
Yes, this is something to work on together. I would recommend he get a little therapy to maybe help him along the way to come to terms with this. Its his choice and should respect that. Let him know and remind him that you can understand his fears given his past and that you are there to help any way you can.
Good luck 🙂
How coherent could she be that she didn't realize she was having sex for 5 minutes? If she was that out of it, there's no way should could have consented…
She was with a friend that she theoretically trusted… the friend, presumably, knew she was on a break and I assume used that to his advantage. What are the odds that he also put something else stronger than she's used too? or something else to knock her out? other drugs?
Just reading your post that's my first thought. From an objective outside observer going on your words.
My next thought is does she have problems being so high she doesn't know what's going on? This happen often? Next question is does she need WA (Weed Anon) or similar?
I suggest you two find someone to talk to and put all details on the table. If it's assault? she needs to treat it as such – and you should too.
You probably need someone to talk too to help put your feelings out in the open. You have a right to be mad but you can't be mad at her for cheating if she was drugged and assaulted. You can be mad if she has a drug problem – but that's a different conversation… you can be mad at the “Friend”. But I don't think you should be mad at her if she was assaulted. You can be – you're an adult and you control you… but I don't think you should be.
News flash, these women like their job or at least tolerate it because they like the income (like everyone else that has a job).
When you say it degrades women,you are the one being discriminating.
As an older mature adult, it's possible to go to a strip club and not be a deviate.
THIS
So based on your comment that you confirmed you ended it, no she didn't cheat.
My answer would have still been the same because three days of no contact anyone would think, “Okay, guess we're done” and go look for a rebound.
You can't be pissed that once you breakup with someone and walk away they go find someone to hook up with. And you can't be pissed that she got “over you so fast” because, based on your post and your comments, she'd been feeling neglected for a while. Like, man, use your head and think. Why on earth would you treat a coworker better than your own partner?
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Clearly you still have some issues from high school. Maybe consider some therapy for your persistent need for external validation?
I don't know what actually happened of course, but I think he is trying to come up with excuses, possibly to try to protect you from being hurt, in his mind.
Saying something like 'I was so drunk I didn't know what I was doing' or 'I was unconscious' might just make him feel better so he is using it as an excuse to try to explain what he did.
No, the fact that you think that. What country do you online in where it makes you feel emasculated to have your wife keep her given name? I am in the US and it's totally normal here.
It sounds like you were emotionally out of the relationship before it ended.
If we're being honest, you held up pretty well and as far as you've said have still not done anything out of concern for your ex's feelings. He has no further right to you or your actions, and good luck moving forward. I think you can't really make it better, only time can do that, and your ex has got to get over you.
Honestly, don’t engage in the gossip. This is office politics. Just be friendly and give no one a reason to say shit on you. (Someone probably still will.) loads of people gossip to me. I just keep my mouth shut and my head down. There’s one woman I’ve been friendly with for 6 years, she was practically in my wedding, but she’s the type to always need to have a victim. Currently it’s me. I told my boss and her both that she needs to back off. She’s been quiet since.
Like I said, just don’t engage, don’t give a reason, and just be friendly to everyone. You’re there to work, not make friends or deal with their bullshit.
As a former theater kid this also happened at school in drama class, everyone would change costumes in front of eachother no big deal at all
I'm going to sweden from January to July and he's going to norway from August to December… So it's gonna be super complicated to see eachother… Sadly
Yep, it's time to find a new friend. It's been awhile since I've been in school but it's usually the best place to make friends. Do you go to a small school?
I was there the other times when she need me, I even go on foot to see her when I don't have money for the bus. I want to talk like the adult that I didn't act in our last conversation, I don't want any bad feelings or making her feeling like her make something bad, she didn't do anything bad. I make a mistake and take the only responsibility of that, I don't want that mistake being the last memory of me or our friendship She was, is, the best thing that happen for my. I respect her choice, I don't even put my eyes in her after this.
I get your view point and cops definitely left an even worse taste in my mouth after 2020 but if all the good cops did resign/leave… then we’d definitely only have shitty cops and I don’t want that either.
There can be various reasons for her behaviour (feeling inadequate to her ex's going to be wife, she still has feelings for her ex, jealousy, etc ) The only way to find out is talk, however you don't have to wait forever for that, set up a time for yourself and see if she's ready to talk within that time and if she starts talking, then is she behaving differently? Based on that you can decide the future course of action for your relationship.
You're dating her for only 8 months, you don't have to invest more time or your feelings aren't being reciprocated and if she's still hung on her ex.
So this is coming from someone who married their first and only: yeah, you'll always wonder what could have been. But there's also no sense in leaving a good thing. And, rergardless, happiness comes from within. You can be happy with one partner. You can also be happy with multiple.
If you pay any attention at all to Reddit, you'll see a post on here every other day about someone bemoaning letting someone special go and now they want them back. So your worry that maybe you'll regret it is real. However, I will also say that your fear that maybe you'll be “alone” is probably unrealistic. You'll find someone eventually. But, yeah, you might regret the wasted time.
TL;DR: the grass is always greener. There's no right answer here. You may have regrets either way. Such is life.
And a relationship that is based on mutual respect and loyalty is not a commitment? Or are those only requirements once you put a ring on the finger?
bathroom sex? OP you can top that on a heartbeat. Give those v sexy vibes ALL DAY LONG… edge the hell out of each other. It will catapult you into the number one spot ?
Had a day such as this with my SO… ??? Good morning, sexting, went to a party & gave him the vibes all night. Hostess asked if I was ok bc I looked flushed, LOL. Needless to say, he said we might not make it to the house, he was so ?and ready
Indeed we did not make it to the house. Best of luck to you.
True stuff! Thanks didn't think of that part. That would be the only reason if she wanted the help. She said she didn't want him to help her..
I prefer smaller over larger as well. Smaller dicks don't hurt as often. (I do get some pain from penetration thats unrelated to my partner) also although my sample size is small, dudes with smaller dicks are better lovers. More stamina, more willing to do more than penetrative sex, easier to go down on. Just good fun all around lol
No, a large age gap doesn’t automatically mean abuse of power, but increasingly controlling behavior does. Which is what is happening here. Why do you find yourself so annoyed at those women? Why aren’t you willing to consider that a lot of age gap dynamics are unhealthy and usually lead to grooming/ abusive behavior? This doesn’t absolve anyone of their individual behavior, women included, but it’s relevant information when considering the situation holistically and I don’t understand why you’re applying negative feelings about women not taking responsibility to it instead of seeing that.
Omg you said something I was meaning to include in my post but forgot. I had that option in my mind since a very long time. But idk I don't have perfect 20/20 vision. I wear prescription glasses and that's a pre-requesite in my country even if you want a desk job in the army, you undergo a mandatory military training here for a year or two. I have been meaning to try that since a very long time and looked at it a lot during my time in college but that didn't work out. And well the Navy and merchant navy here will only hire Mechanical Engineers but other graduates will never be given the position of a sailor or more ever but quite bad. The airforce will hire people with 20/20 vision but mostly they will hire only Aeronautical and Aerospace engineers.
And I'm a person with a Business degree majoring in Accounting and Finance. So all those options are ruled out too. About the police, that cannot happen since that will be like handing myself to my family on a silver platter to serve since my Uncle works for politicians and is an aspiring politician who will be contesting the election in the future and I would be stuck with these people for life even if I work for the police and he doesn't contest the elections in the future. Also the police academy also requires a 20/20 plus they are racist here in the selection process towards minorities for good positions and I wouldn't make the cut regardless.
Army and Navy definitely would have been good to take me away from these people for a while for me to earn money and figure out ways to earn passive income ftom my writing to eventually move out of the country but that cannot happen as I mentioned above.
Yeah, to put a POC in a movie for this reason would be tokenism to me
Seems his mask has finally dropped now?
Either he's blaming you because he doesn't know what to do with it or he's just that unemphatic.
I have very much stopped with the mothering, he has asked me to a while ago.
I have told him I need him to be proactive, am I at fault for not being more explicit? I feel that for instance when I am going through a hard time, it should be intuitive for a partner (or even my friends) to be there for me. To ask again and again makes me feel like im begging for affirmation
Get your own cat in your own name and they won’t be able to take them.
I have a feeling this is rage bait. There is no way you're coming on here asking on whether you should leave your current gf, who you've as great and wonderful, for a girl who has openly told you that you're nothing to her. What is wrong with you? How stupid are you?