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Is the relationship with your family worth binding yourself for life to someone you don’t like. That’s what it comes down to. There’s always a chance they’ll get over it over time. The risk does seem worth it. Then again, I matter more to me than anyone else.
A guy that size and weight should knowingly be careful and aware of his surroundings and you within proximity. I'd say you guys need a third party to get the point across. It being a frequent occurrence is concerning that nothing is changing. I'd just start wearing a helmet, plastic armor, bubble wrap or something to get the point across but this is all on him. Why isn't he concerned?
Seems like someone hasn't moved on
I'm an Indian woman who refused to have an arranged marriage. There are very few people who have the courage to go against their parents and “society”. He has already told you that he isn't ready to put up a fight. The answer is quite simple. You leave.
Depends on what happened in the marriage and why she left.
If you guys are broken up I wouldn't expect anything.
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Yes, I definitely prefer partners who also seek to understand why something happens, instead of making a blanket uninformed judgement about one’s partner
IMO, this relationship was a season and happened for a reason. Run while you still can, this man sounds like he has some serious issues if he’s doing this while you are both happy, having lots of sex, and enjoying each other’s families. Try not to think of it as you “wasted 4 years” because this is a learning experience. Maybe you were with this man for four years so that you wouldn’t date/fall in love with someone else because your real soulmate is still to come.
Doesn’t have to be like that—you can end up being friends, but that’s a few years down the road, after you’ve both healed.
People today keep trying to skip the part where you have to heal. It doesn’t work like that.
Honestly what do you want from this relationship? He's 42 years old and couldn't even get you the 1 thing you asked for. On top of that he cheated on you and is pretty much a deadbeat.
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Final Update, I believe. Thank you to everyone that was here for me. You guys made it so much easier for me. I am at home now, safe, in Germany. I’m so traumatized, I still cannot eat. And sadly, I still have feelings for him. Can anyone give me advice on how to cope with that? I feel like i’m losing my mind.
Not really. We like similar things hobby and interests wise but she’s really slim and tall with long hair and I’m short and curvy with a bit of tum. I’ve never met her properly so everything I know is from photos
Yes he is hoping to just be fwb and not a romantic relationship. A bootie call.
Right? God forbid we recognize that she is having a mental crisis and the homophobia is just a symptom. Nah, much easier to go “homophobia bad, no one can ever recover or be convinced otherwise, divorce and ostracize!”
I don't think you understood what I meant on my previous comment, so let me clarify.
We don't know if OP was looking at their phone all the time, but let's assume they were, just for the sake of the argument (because that's the scenario you were proposing). That could have caused OP's date to feel frustrated, and to mess with the phone, which HE DID.
You, on the other hand, were feeling frustrated with your friend and you felt like you wanted to throw away her phone. But YOU DIDN'T.
And that's the difference.
Our families aren’t inappropriate, these other peoples are just really deeply boring or religious or both.
Actually that you ARE friends means that your kids can see what a healthy co parent arrangement is.
Idk how people think this story is real
He may as well stay away from 80% of the population then because that’s how much of it has HPV
So if the wife isn't in the mood op isn't allowed to self pleasure?
This isn't the right relationship for you. You're both on different paths. He's ready to settle down and you're ready to start living. So leave him, and go enjoy your life.
You should ask yourself if you can really trust your GF to be there for you.
Her reasoning against you living with your sister seems to be that it's inconvenient not to live together, so much so she'd prefer to break up (unless she's just trying to manipulate you, and doesn't really believe you'll break up).
What will she do if you have to go away for work for several months? Got into an accident and ended up in the hospital for several months? Other situations where you have to be separated or you become inconvenient to date?
You don't want to find out the answer to these is “she'll leave” when you're in the middle of a crisis.
Your marriage just became open. Happy hunting.
You are 18 & 19, you don't need an open relationship and all the major problems it's going to bring, sounds like you need to not be together. At your age this is a lot of problems for people who have a lot of life ahead of you both.
She did and he did it anyway.
This guy infuriates me! A fucking “pro-life” child trying to play grown up and is now turning into a whiny bitch on Reddit when things aren’t playing out like they did in his fantasy world.
OP, you’re a parent now. Time to grow up and learn how to deal with the real shit.
Haha holy shit I didn’t notice that, fuck OP now I really hope this is for karma
Eww. Dogs don't belong in the same bed as two people having sex
All I'm gonna say is you can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink. You can do everything in your power to show them why that person sucks but if they don't want to hear it, they won't.
Well, if you've spent a month living your life then maybe consider just restructuring so she isn't part of it permanently.
Like really if she comes back now are the feelings actually gone? Or won't you just develop them again soon enough? Sure, ignoring the feelings could work but that's a lot of energy and anxiety you'll have to deal with.
Like I know it is sad to lose a friend. But the dynamic will never be the same. Plus it is clear you want a partner, so maybe shift focus to that. After all, pursuing other women with her constantly there will just be awkward and weird for you and lead to inevitable comparison.
You can like young adult men if you’d like, but you have nearly double his life experience. You are not equal
If this was a man, we would call it predatory. The age gap police would be here immediately
You have low self esteem, you’re staring at the barrel of 40. Perhaps trying to relive your misspent youth, whatever, you do you but please don’t pretend this is normal. Something is happening, you may not be aware of why you are making those choices
As a woman near your age, I buy myself something nice to make me happy, not go shag some kid that’s young enough to be my son. Then come to the internet after a month to seek validation for my choices
Seriously, try couples counseling. This doesn't have to be the end.
Your GF is jealous of your ex.
she doesn't understand that you DO NOT need your ex to badmouth you to your kids (well, any more than she does already)
and honestly – leave the booze in the car for 20 minutes. it's not going to kill you *rolls eyes*
You deserve every insult thrown at you, you loser.
Then why didn't she say that? She didn't say “Thanks for the earrings, but I like mine more”. She said “You're insecure for trying to replace my ex boyfriend's gift”. Even she admits the earrings are about her ex.
We didn't have sex
You say that you “work together” but then you say that your nephew needed a job so you “took him in” and “had my gf teach him the ropes” (sic), which implies that you don't just work together, that you are in fact her boss.
If this is true, you should break up with her because you never should have been dating her in the first place. Between the nearly 20-year age difference, the fact that that age difference includes one person who isn't even 30 years old yet, and fact that you're an authority figure with significant power over her career and livelihood, it was a HUGE conflict of interest and completely unethical for you to have gotten involved with her romantically in the first place.
Add to that the fact that you're nearly 50 years old and coming here for dating advice simply because she seems to have made close friends with your own nephew, a man around her own age, and that confuses and distresses you (and as someone older than you, you are not nearly old enough to be confused or distressed by opposite-sex friendships unless you're either jealous or you understand that your relationship is inappropriate and tenuous) . . . Yes, of course you should break up. Then go take a course on sexual harassment and appropriate workplace dynamics.
Bud what ever happened here?
Girl BFFR. Don’t let that slide. You’re worth more than someone who can’t see it (your worth).
And he doesn’t even see your worth just because he came back to you. It’s probably what’s just most convenient for him.
ALWAYS have high standards and never feel bad about them.
Lie. Tell your father you've broken up and keep a low profile with your boyfriend. Finish your studies, get on your feet, then distance yourself from your father. He'll never accept you and your choices if they deviate from his narrow world view.
This would be a no from me. They have unresolved mutual attraction.
That sounds really unbalanced.
Yeah food prep is a lot of work but I was trying to think of a solution that wasn’t “go to therapy”. I don’t think an ultimatum will work and this many years in I doubt she’s going to discover a passion for cooking.
Thank you for your kindness ❤️
I sure do, but sharing our experience and hope is part of what we have. Do you know other people can have opinions you don't agree with and don't really want yours? You are as self centered as you accuse me of being.
Maybe half the time.
Wtf, no. Being pursued by a flirty coworker when you’re already in a relationship and not shutting it down is such a shitty thing to do? Not only to your partner, but also to the person who doesn’t know they’re flirting with someone who is already in a relationship. If you need to get validation from someone outside of your relationship so badly that you entertain a coworker flirting with you and aren’t honest about your relationship/marital status, both your self-esteem and your relationship have bigger issues
Hahah, she purposefully starts fights to drive him over the edge and he is immature for taking refuge? 😀
The problem is if I confirm my race and it’s different then what I believe its supposed to be it will confirm whether or not my dad is biologically my dad. If I did this I wouldn’t tell anyone the genetic results. I’m nervous because I don’t want to hurt my dads/my own feelings if it comes back that’s I am a different ethnicity
Therapy.
Something has changed in the way that you’re viewing him?
Have you talked with him about this? Communication is key.
I hope the two of you figured it out. you sound like the kindest people and i truly wish you can make your marriage work.
They went on one date, guy got WAAAAAAY too overexcited and spooked her, she pulled back a little, he got mad, she pulled back a lot, now he's single again.
Despite the problem being caused by him, you found a solution that you're perfectly happy with. If he's not happy with this solution, it's on him to figure out another one that will work for both him and you. The solution he's proposing only works for him, which is selfish.
I don’t think you read what I wrote
U all are talking at completely different frames of mind & viewpoints. They can be friends but I think its respectful to have her friend meet her husband early.
It’s a date don’t mistake it. Believe it or not you scumbag
This is a partner issue, not a friend issue. He is allowing his friends to be rude, childish, and disrespectful. The fact that these kind of people are his friends would be a red flag for me. He can bring his friends on board and make it clear that you are important to him and should be treated as such. OR. You can tell him to kick rocks.