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That’s troubling because most people are pretty at 21, but everyone ages and changes with time.
I didn’t see there being much of a future. Your needs will go unfulfilled here and he’s just adding extra work to your plate.
Do what is right for you and your husband and kids. You have learned that your parents will say what you want to hear in order to get what they want (you to move closer, you not to sell the house) and though they may mean it at the time, they are not dependable.
Do what is right for you. Move to a smaller home if you want to.