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How do you think your family would react?
To be honest, it sounds like you barely know this person so what you are is infatuated by an idea of her that you created in your mind, you haven't really “fallen” for her.
If you want to go work for that country because you'd have better opportunities then go, but don't go there in the expectation that your cousin would be welcoming you with a romantic relationship in mind, all because she flirted around the idea of you living together.
Go talk to a therapist and stop posting on Reddit. Like calm down and quit putting so much on your GF 's shoulders. You need more therapy.
Rover.com. they could hire someone. Or come home. They are 2 hours away
What is happening??! You want to go back to him????! He’s TWENTY ONE YEARS older than you and seriously asked you to get abortions so he could finish inside of you??? NO. Watch some rom coms, get a dildo, go out dancing, whatever you need. But whatever you do, do not fucking go back to that man. Yikes.
Tinder honey, tinder, people say a lot about tinder but, you sure do you sure get matches. It may be a good start. Honestly I’m not attractive what so ever but, I got 500 likes on tinder in one day and lots of matches. If I can do it you can too! Start swiping in everyone so you don’t have to pay for a subscription then you have your mutual matches you can choose from. Personality, chemistry, and respectfulness are big factors; see how they talk to you then make a date. Always FaceTime before meeting as well. Low effort safe date, day time, you got this sis ??.
All the Indians I’ve met are dark so this sounds so unsettling to hear..
Tell him “You can't have your cake and eat it.”
Yeah, you can’t unring a bell. Sorry OP. Leave him.
Thank you. I know it is scary. Especially with his past breaking and entering. He is a threat to the health and safety of your family. But I have hope for you, too. You and your daughter have bright days ahead of you. The choice is yours to make. You have the power to make it!
Has he ever gotten you off?
Has he ever gotten you off?
You need to grow a spine. Your family is sexist, and from the sound of it, racist too. Unless you start dating someone of your specific race, class, and colour, and a girl who is willing to fulfill a misogynistic role as the 'little wifey', they are always going to be rude and unwelcoming, and try to interfere in your relationship.
The only thing you can do is continually stand up for her, and tell your family they need to drop the rude attitude and show you, her, and your relationship some respect and not be I sulting. However, as long as you live under their roof, you're going to struggle getting any respect from them.
Op wasn't here for advice. Kept regurgitating the exact same lines and was ignoring everyone telling them to leave her ex alone.
She wasn't having it.
Because I thought she would open up over time. After all trust isn’t given it’s earned.
Let this go, you don’t have any right to his past information, and you hyper focusing on his ex’s is a bit much. You don’t need to know them to know him.
If that's truly it, then they're being unreasonable. Are you looking at him through rose colored glasses?
You don't tell us much about him. Does he have a good job? Is he a student?
Drugs? Kids? Just playing devil's advocate. If they won't talk about it then either it's imaginary/unreasonable, or they think it's really obvious.
Why haven’t you blocked him and put him in a time out for his behaviour? I think it’s time to tell him you don’t want to be his friend (and why) and permanently block him
Why did you guys break up? That seems important…
Good for him.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My boyfriend (26) and I (21f) met on Hinge in December and went on one date before I went home for the holidays for a month. During that time we texted and knew we’d see each other again once I came back, and in the two months since then we’ve become serious. When he was celebrating New Year’s, he saw a woman (31) at a bar that he’d previously been on a date with but didn’t pursue more, and they got to talking and slept together that night. We’d only been on one date ourselves so I don’t have an issue with this part, but about a week ago she contacted him to tell him that she’s pregnant and might keep it.
He found out on Monday and came over after work on Tuesday to tell me and was breaking down. He was saying he doesn’t feel ready to be a father and feels like he’s ruined his own life, her life, and our relationship just when things were becoming so perfect. He didn’t cheat on me or anything wrong, but the way they’ve been dealing with talking about their options keeps coming into my head.
We have such a good relationship, no disagreements or problems, and I really believe he’s trustworthy, but he’s been going to her house all night every night for the past 4-5 nights, and the only reason I know is because we have shared locations. He last said they still haven’t come to a decision, but I don’t see why he needs to sleep there to come to one. I don’t know if they’ve been sleeping separately or in the same bed.
Thoughts: – he could be giving her emotional support since she’s carrying his child but does that have to be in the form of sleepovers? – It’s strange to me that they would be each others’ choices for emotional support since they barely really know each other, but she might not have told anyone else
This is my first relationship ever and I was so grateful for how easy and healthy it was until now, and if she keeps the baby I don’t know if we should stay together. He mentioned something about her previously thinking she wouldn’t be able to have kids due to a pelvis injury, which could then make it impossible for her to have this anyway, but I don’t know the details so am not counting on it.
He’s planning on coming over tonight for the first time since he told me on tuesday, and half of me wants to get advice on how to support someone who feels like their life is ruined, while the other half is looking for your thoughts on the situation, his response, and our future. I think its a really good sign he told me right away, and he hasn’t even told anyone else, but spending so much time at her place without telling me feels strange, and I can’t stop thinking about them becoming emotionally connected in a way that makes me feel neglected and selfish.
Edit: I’ve met his family and roommate so am fairly sure he isn’t in another relationship but I don’t trust men after reading these replies, but he is coming over in 30 minutes to talk
Is she ok with you going with her? If the planned time doesn’t work then go another time. If she thinks that is a great idea then great. If she doesn’t want you there then she is going on a date.
Is it weird? Not really. But since you both got together so young usually there is a time where the thought about what you might be missing out on hits. But if you are both happy and in a healthy relationship there's no issue.
Please dump him, he's an asshole – for testing and for talking to you this way.
It’s more complicated than that. In a long term relationship it’s okay to try and understand where a person is coming from even when it’s not rational or perhaps reasonable.
Yes you have a right to be upset. No you should not keep pushing the proposal to him. Would you care to know why? You deserve a man who proposes to you because his heart is set on it, and for him, you are the only woman; rather than a man whose arm you had to twist into it, who was dumb enough to buy you a ring like that for a birthday gift. Don’t you think so?
Instead of misogyny you may want to take a look at NPD or Narcisstic personality disorder and its traits.
He's making no effort to spend meaningful time with you. Why are you still putting in the effort to date him? Love is not enough. He's showing you his priorities and you aren't even in the top 3. It's time for you to move on.
We went on a date last week to the movies and often go on playdates with kids together (not just my friend's kids, but my wife's collegues kids, school kids, …). We try to hang out most nights and watch TV/movies/go for walks.
It's very hot for my wife to be around kids; she had a really rough childhood and the lack of freedom kinda drives her nuts. We have tried lots of strategies to deal with this but it's a constant struggle…
I usually prefer to hang out with people 1:1, don't deal well with groups of people. We do sometimes have outings as families (my family + friend's family) but no matter who I hang out with I prefer 1:1 time.
Yeah I’m not your wife and I’m embarrassed for you. Can we say suffocating and clingyYou need to back off but I don’t think this is real. This reads like a 15 year old wrote it.
Sorry, but this is sick…
Tell her if she insists on going, you will be going on holiday with your female co-worker and look how she'll hate that
She does not respect you. No matter what type of person you think she is she has no respect for you or your relationship.
This is going to sound harsh but I am speaking to you as a friend. GROW A SPINE.
Stfu you pain in the arse
Both of your expectations are normal. You freaked out a bit because he was interested in sex without showering (which is also normal). You don’t make it clear if you’ve told him that you want him to shower directly before sex, and your response was unnecessary after you’ve already said you’re not interested.
Ok then don't sweat it. I'm not certain what you're trying to accomplish here.
Ummm…that woman is a nutbar. You’re probably fine. If you shower regularly, you are not ‘musty’ down there. You probably smell like a human male which is fine to 99.9% of the straight female populace. You happened to catch a weirdo.
Means he is just checking to see if anything changed. Say you were feeling bored or extra horny you might consider giving him your number that night. He just asks in passing to see if you have changed your mind. But I see no examples of him ‘begging you’ beyond the passive ‘can I get your number today?’
Sounds to me like he would be willing to fuck you but that seems about all he is interested in.
Are you okay with her demands? Only you live with them.
Why would you want this behaviour for a wife?
The only question you should ask: What do I want in a relationship when I am married and does this meet those needs. If they don’t match then do not marry (and stop dating her).
She's doing yoga and we've changed our entire diet at her request to lose weight it's been working 🙂 I think it's a matter of time and therapy
that ship has sailed
You have your answer, and it’s not a yes. Why do you need to this to be explicitly spelled out for you
No. He’s blaming YOU for his cheating and lying.
Why would you accept that? Do you think its your fault he cheated? Because it isn’t.
It’s called gaslighting and it’s the behaviour of an egotist or a narc.
You ain't getting that money back. If you really want to see his true colors, tell him no more sex until he pays up.
Nope. Of course you aren’t comfortable with your gf going to a hotel room with another guy. You could have asked where she was going and picked her up though. I think you ended the conversation because you were put off. I don’t blame you but don’t say you couldn’t pick her up. All you had to do was ask where she was going.
it's kind of sick and creepy. you don't fix sick and creepy, you distance from it.
So she doesn’t want to argue or hear me explain my side but she also doesn’t want me to end the argument just to make her happy she wants me to believe she’s right not just let her have it but she doesn’t want to do any of the talking required to get me to the point where I understand if she is or isn’t.
This is a superb way to breed resentment and ultimately ruin y'all's relationship.
90% of the time after we’ve had some space she realizes she was actually wrong
So she's aware she's wrong 90% of the time, but still doesn't let you tell her your part during arguments. Real healthy.
Tell her to fight fair or shut the fuck up. I can't imagine how annoying it is for you to have to sit through 3 hour fights knowing you're right and she's wrong.
She’s all of those things you mentioned, she does say she wants to study and get into youth work although she does say she wants a million things and never acts on it,
I agree with your second part too I think I’m just terrified of having a child and I’m looking for issues,
Finally, we’ve talked about her dreams and aspirations and I have even looked deep into youth work courses because she has said she wants to but doesn’t look deep into courses and pathways, I think she doubts herself as she had a very poor childhood but slowly and steadily she’s built so much confidence within herself which is beautiful,
Thanks for your reply
IMHO, that was a shitty thing to do to somebody on their wedding day, I don't blame you a single bit for still being upset, I mean, it's not like you can ever get your wedding day back.
That being said, how would you feel about maybe going away – just the two of you! – and doing an intimate vow renewal? Nothing too crazy, even a nice hike with the two of you shouting your love for one another from a mountain top will do. Give yourself a lovely replacement moment and delete the first
Was the guy taking photos a professional wedding photographer?
What the actual fuck? Some dude's business is weddings and he has the audacity to act a fool like that?
You should leave a one star review on any site that'll have him and clearly explain that this dude after being paid $5k or whatever he charged for the day, decided to be like “hey, thanks for the cash, also I banged your wife”
What an unprofessional jackass.
I'm literally furious for you. Dude needs to find another line of business.
She’s still a kid so yes, she’s going to play kid games with you. Dating someone in high school two years after you graduated don’t tend to go well.
Sounds like you already decided. You don’t find it attractive.
Time to end it. Let her find someone that does find it attractive date her. You find someone that meets your needs.
You are both young. You will both recover and move on.
To be honest I don't think she would have a problem help pay for the mortgage if I was in a bind. But so far in this relationship I have never had to ask knowing she was never in a position to help anyways.
If a tenant moved out and I recommend we move in together she would not be okay with paying the mortgage if her name isn't added to the deed.
To me that says two things. 1) she doesn't know these the logistics work. 2) she doesn't understand opportunity cost of me renting it vs living in the property while she shares the expenses.
Now that you bring it up, I do see how I never received any help with my properties from her end. Like I have asked for her to come help do some work but she had her own priorities.
I agree, that's just what I personally would say bc I say sorry a lot, I wasn't implying that Op had anything to apologize for.