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don’t take people downvoting this to heart. it makes sense that you love him and it’s okay that you’re scared of that. just take some time to come to terms with your feelings and what has been happening and make a choice based on your priorities. i suggest you do leave him though because that seems like the best thing for prioritizing your self respect but im an outsider and a stranger so don’t take that too much to heart either. do what feels right to you in the end and that’s the right thing, but i think you do know in your heart that you should leave by the way you sounded in your post. it’s okay to love him and be scared you will be okay, lean on those close to you