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I didn’t take too long to be ok. I was lucky that it didn’t go further than it did. I stopped being friends with that person. I recommend you end the relationship with your “friend” too. It seems clear to me that they’re not a true friend of yours. I would treat this as a sexual assault in your mind and consider therapy if it feels like you’re having trouble processing it or moving past it.
Every-time he opens his phone?????
I have to say, the visual of what the slideshow of dickpics might have looked like has made Reddit worth it today… I picture it set to In the Arms of an Angel.
I think you need to include in your original post that he will make you sign an NDA in exchange for the more generous settlement. I think that could change things a bit. What would that mean in practice? Does it mean that you can’t tell your mum or your best friend, or does it just mean you can’t publish the affair in a newspaper? If it’s the former, this becomes a lot more complicated than just “take as much as you can get”. On the surface, more money sounds great, but clearly there’s a part of you that’s hesitating. What does that part of you say?
When someone holds hate in their heart…not the kind which is earned by someone specific who has been the evil or pain in someone's life, but the kind which feeds on itself and grows to encompass whole races, genders, sexualities, nationalities, religions…that's a naked weed to root out once it's really taken hold. You can't argue with it, because it's not rooted in logic or fairness or empathy, which are the things to which you usually appeal when trying to change someone's mind. You can't force it, because that builds resentment instead of understanding. The person has to experience something which is profound…at least to them…and shakes them to the core enough to force them to really look inward with open, unbiased eyes for the first time in their life.
It might be a grandchild arrives who they love enough to show them how flimsy and baseless a hate which could have encompassed that child has to be. It might be sifting through the ashes of a great tragedy which was committed in the name of what you thought you believed in. It might be a breakthrough in therapy which allows you to see how much of that hate was hate you directed outward stemmed from the hate you projected inward. It could be as simple as having a kind neighbor who goes out of their way to help you in a time of need. It happens when something occurs and you are able to see a person…even if it's just one…who cracks the certainty which which you have painted an entire group as your enemy, and forces you to see them as just a human being for once.
She has chosen hate, and it's escalating because she's feeding it, marinating her mind in it, and letting it grow. You have talked to her, and it hasn't made a dent. The decision you need to make now is do you excuse hate and accept it into your life, or do you protect yourself from how very transmittable disease hate is and walk away?
She’s not upset bc it’s more expensive, she’s upset bc her sister is purposefully making her feel bad