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Think of it from his perspective like he's probably been thinking of this for a while. It honestly feels like u only care abt ur feeling and not his.
Both of my wives have done something similar to me. And I've often considered making a post in r/askwomen about it to see how common it is.
My first wife used to play with me while I was asleep, but wouldn't finish me. I would wake up with intense blue ball pain, not knowing what was going on. She was afraid to admit what she was doing, but once I figured it out, I told her to just wake me up. She decided to quit touching me and eventually divorced me. (To make a long story short)
My second wife loves to tease and touch me, and while she will definitely wake me, she will try to see how Iong I take to wake up to her touching me.
Try to set up a space where your girlfriend feels secure enough to tell you the truth. Ask her non-threatening questions about her motivations and intent. And then you can make an informed decision about how to proceed.
And yes, what she did could be classified as rape. But only you can make that call.
Do you have any pets? If not I’d wait until you move because 6 kids suddenly arriving (including your twins) in a two small space is a bit much. But a dog (or two) would be good to help with cuddles and emotional therapy, let alone learning some responsibility. Maybe until you can bring a dog home, if you don’t have any pets yet, you and the older kids can volunteer at an animal shelter? They can play with the dogs and practice reading to them, you can start to get an idea what kind of dog you and they gravitate towards. There’s been some good articles about the positive effects on kids learning or struggling with reading and having them read to dogs at shelters. The dogs are happy for the attention, the kids aren’t judged if they read slowly or mess up- so that seems a fun way to spend an afternoon a week, at least with the older kids.
Well… you know his position.
It’s either stripping or your relationship.
If you want to strip, that’s your right to do so.
If he doesn’t want to be with a stripper, his right to do so.
The ball is in your court and your choice to make.
You can understand something but still be upset by it. The two things aren’t synonymous. You’re allowed to feel whatever you want in relation to the situation.
Bounce!!!
I'm 74yo. Married 45 years. I've known men from all walks of life and under all sorts of conditions.
Stag parties at a strip club are a comedy show.
The attraction for 'normal' guys isn't the women. They are just decoration.
The music, the dancing, the taboo nature ( just read the the posts from people with little life experience), collectively create a setting for a:
A group of guys making alcohol fueled one liner jokes non stop. There's also sexual gag gifts. And they embarrass the groom with a lap dance.
Advise your fiance to initially act like he's the organizer and misdirect the lap dancer to think it's some other guy in the group. It's an old trick and adds a lot of humor.
What she has done is at least let him know she doesn't think he's gross and maybe even that she finds him attractive. I don't know if you've ever been in a martial arts class, but there is lots of grossness there. Lots of sweat, feet, odors, grunting and farting. So letting someone know that you don't find them gross is actually kind of cool.
What she has also done is put the ball in his court. I see no problem at all with one unmarried person putting another unmarried person know that they find them attractive. How many people do you know that are in a relationship, but not happy? I have known plenty. So she has given him a little something to think about in case he is in an unhappy relationship.
At this point, he can choose to ignore it, he can choose to address it, or he can choose to act on it.
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You could alternate weeks. So both of you do the planning, shopping, and cooking, for the week, every other week.
This way you won’t be punished for his shortcomings. If he plans poorly and forgets to use something early and it goes bad, then he gets to replace it. Or if he doesn’t plan well and you don’t have food for dinner, he can order takeout with his money. If he’s the one paying for the food he allowed to expire, he might also grow some awareness regarding what you have in the fridge. He automatically gets held accountable. This way you also don’t have to follow the tracking app or whatever he uses to help himself.
To make things fair, you guys can also do cleaning on alternate weeks. So one week you food shop/plan/cook while he cleans the house, and the next week it’s the other way around.
Alternatively, you can split cleaning in half and you can both do your own food shopping and cooking. Personally I find it easier to split cleaning by assigning who does which task each week. So if you tell him to clean the bathroom and hoover the house once a week, then he should always know what to do. Or to avoid complaints of “but your chores are easier”, you can just do the thing of alternating every week. I’m suggesting this so that you don’t get left with the mental load of having to micromanage what needs to be done.
How many comments do you intend to make on this post ? Im assuming youre just projecting very hot since you probably go after ex gfs of your friends.
You do not own your ex-girlfriend
This doesnt even make sense. OP doesnt give a shit about what his ex does, he is only mad at his “friend”.
Neither your friend nor your ex did anything wrong by finding each other attractive or by acting on it.
His friend literally said that he felt bad about it, which he knows its wrong as well.
All in all, only one thing matters here, bro's before ho's.
It's tough because a lot of the problems are caused by past trauma. She is going to go to therapy for it which is a step in the right direction, and she genuinely does her best to do what she can to help. I do 100% agree, this is all a good reason to leave, but after reading a bunch of comments and acc talking to someone who reached out to me through this post, I wanna try to wait and see. If therapy goes well and we start working together more things could get really good again, and I hope they do. I know in a way, by staying, I'm still kinda putting more of myself in than I should, but I hate the thought of not being able to be with her
The guy kicked your dog till it was limping. Next time he gets mad that could be you! When someone shows you who they truly are believe them. He is an abusive person. I’ve been so tired I’ve yelled at the dog to stop barking, never have I thought of hitting or kicking it.
I’ve seen cooks outside with their clogs on a lot. What do you do for smoke breaks or whatever?
6 months may not be enough time to tell if someone is the right person for you, but it’s long enough to have weeded out the wrong one.
Not really. People tend to drop a lot of pretenses after a couple of years that they would otherwise manage to uphold for the first six months or so. You don't want to marry someone until you know for sure what their behaviors are like when they've completely let it all go and they think they don't have to keep up appearances anymore.
The best advice honestly is to tell them that you're definitely going to marry them and not to worry anymore, then wait year and see if it turned them into a slob. Then you make the actual decision.
Lol tinder to learn English. Sure.
That would be overstepping a boundary. This is more about the dynamics between her and her parents (not you). She needs to work at feeling comfortable with her choices and getting over her fear of disappointment. She needs to gain some emotional independence from them and gain some self-confidence. Until she’s worked on herself and her relationship with her family, you throwing a grenade in the mix behind her back is only causing more chaos. The resolution needs to come from her and she needs to want it to be resolved.
Your dads alarming and stand up for your mans !!
They do sound extreme and his behaviour is escalating. This man is working up to putting his hands on you. Protect yourself and your child and leave him. Three chances is enough.
When you are early twenties yes those years make a difference. 20 and 24 I personally wouldn't have done but it's okay-ish. 18 and 23 is proper creepy. They're only barely legally an adult.
I'm positive that's his gameplan. He doesn't want kids but is too much of a selfish coward to just tell her. So he runs out her biological clock.
Then when he hits 40 he might change his mind, or not.
I've seen this so many times on this sub. Women who want kids but their husband has been lying and doesn't want kids. This usually ends in divorce. Of course it does when dishonesty and selfishness is the basis of the relationship.
Find someone else, she's playing you and sleeping very hot with her FWB. IMO, everything she's teasing you about she's doing!! Wake up and break up and I would send her a break up text.
Go fuck yourself pedo.
Most of those aren't one sided.
Oh, that's awful.
OP, do you really want your kids to grow up with that mindset? He's clearly shown his true colors here. I can only imagine what would happen if one of your kids came out
He doesn't sound ready for a full relationship, TBH. Relationships are so much more than sex, and numbers of partners and knowledge based on porn aren't what make a good lover. His attention should be on you and what happens between you.
he’s a recovering drug addict who doesn’t seem to have the full intention of staying clean
You're not describing a recovering drug addict, you're describing an active drug addict who is persuading you to go down the path of addiction as well. You say you know he'll fuck up your life – you still have the opportunity to prevent that from happening.
What would it take for you to walk away from him?
Thank you ?
That’s not very likely. She needs to get in front of a good psychiatrist
You are better off without him. You have your priorities correct.
Right? OP and his gf are terrifyingly naive. Cheating? Dealbreaker?? Wtf? If she goes OP will be single alright but only because he probably won't hear from her again.
Are these posts made by trolls? I at age 32/33 started dating / grooming a 19 year old girl and now that she’s 25 she is no longer naive enough to allow me to mold and use her. They have to be troll posts yeah? Like they want the hate. Otherwise who writes shit like that and thinks it’s normal