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It is normal to look past the small things as you said you have had a rough patch finding someone that you like recently though now I hear he made fun of you with his friends I am sorta thinking the kindness wasn't that deep. Make fun of someone's vulnerability and then cry when you break it off with them. That is really something.
The what/ifs and wishing you could dislike more about him are pretty normal reactions. Break ups generally hurt even with the best of them they make you feel awful and sometimes at first it actually helps to feel as if you were to blame because then you feel more in control. But however you process this and for however long, always keep the hope in those first dark days that you will find a more effortless connection. I always liked to force myself to do something fun every day where I just say oh it is time to forget that for just an hour.