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Seriously. I'm 32, my brothers best friend we grew up with is 22 & Chris Hemsworth good looking… I swipe away like crazy every time he posts a shirtless pic on Instagram. It's just SO silly! My interpretation of the feeling I get is basically, *'Gross. Stop trying to be a model little brother, you're dumb.'
therapy. You need it after all this shit 2. block M everywhere. Cut all contacts immediately. 3. collect every screenshot, text message you have to back up your side of the story 4. prepare for some rough weeks to months ahead. Most people will enjoy the drama over giving you the chance to talk. 5. leave this whole fucking miserable family alone. Every interaction will make it worse.
Wtf is wrong with people in your replies Dude it is a big deal People who love you should care and offer you empathy and support. You don' t have a gf, just make it official and break up, her behavior is sociopath level.
I think, she doesn't need to leave her friend group just because some dude can't comprehend that some girls only want to remain platonic with them.
That said, 3 things need to happen here:
You need to have a conversation WITH her about expectations for this scenario. She shouldn't expect you to act like a hot-headed teenager just because some dude from caught the feels. And, you should tell her you expect that she will distance herself from this friend at least in the short term so that his crush can blow over. Especially, considering that he was pressuring her with respects to your relationship. That doesn't mean she can't be in a group of people with him. Just that she shouldn't go out of her way to interact with him and shouldn't communicate privately with him. Your girlfriend (and maybe she already has done this) needs to make sure she communicates to this guy that they will never date and that he needs to respect her relationship. Even if you broke up that they won't date – he's just a friend. period. That they should only socialize as a part of their friend group for now – no private texting, etc… That way she has communicated to him that this is inappropriate. You should actually hang out with her new friends, like she suggests. And, let her develop her friendships with people. One day his crush will be a thing of the past and hopefully this will all be a big nothingburger. Just act like a charming, well adjusted adult and don't go and get into a pissing match.
The relationship is over. I would move on from her. Any woman that runs out and has sex indiscriminately after three days over a five year relationship isn't someone that I would chase after. It is cheating, she knew exactly what game she was playing. She knew that she was going to run back to you and she fully intended to throw it in your face. Having sex isn't the same as buying shoes, no matter what mental gymnastics she uses to justify herself. You two won't be able to on-line this down. It's over.
I wouldn't have bought a co-worker $150 shoes, but I need more context about the shoe purchase. Did she save your ass in a jam? Are you making amends for ruining a pair of your co-workers shoes? Was she instrumental in you getting a significant promotion or raise?
It's a psychological moment and it's not your fault. First try to make her feel as comfortable as you can,not on the physical (Because I am pretty sure you guys are very close physically) level but on the mental. Ask her to guide and show you how she touches/pleases herself so you can get an idea from that. The key to this kind of stuff is communication
Why are you two together?
How tf can you be aromantic but still try to pursue someone romantically. Sounds like sociopathic behavior. But hey if that’s what you’re into and like them back as much, go for it.
I’m sorry I can’t even think of anything to advise here but I don’t think he owes HER an apology. He didn’t do anything TO HER.
I can say that if I was in your position, I’d quit trying with her. Enough is enough. But I would tell her that if I hear of one more thing she says, I’m gonna find her and take care of her lying mouth and then go full no contact. I mean really…why does she think that SHE should be apologized to?
Sorry you’re going through this. Good luck on your marriage. You’re a better person than I am for taking him back but it does seem like he’s been willing to face it unlike so many others.
Your wife needs to talk to her obstetrician because I'm pretty sure hes gonna tell her that at her age a pregnancy could very well result in a child being born with some sort of birth defects or abnormalities. Not to mention the fact that you're gonna be raising this child until you're 60 or older. I can promise you that's not what you want.
I was born when my mom and dad were 43 and 42 years old and I promised myself that every single one of my children would be born by the time I was 30. I didn't want my kids to have parents the same age as their friends grandparents.
so he's afraid that YOU watching ANIMATED ASIAN WOMEN will make HIM want to cheat? wtf kind of ass backwards thinking is that?! dude has issues.
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No, read your comment over again. You have no comprehension skills if you think your comment had room for any interpretation. It sounds ignorant and a really poor way of communicating any kind of message.
He was very well intentioned, but personally, I don't believe that's a gift that should be purchased without parental permission.
he's on VACATION. let the poor guy enjoy his time w/ friends and family for fuck's sake
Lol that's a good idea. I always try to shut it down when it's happening which usually creates chaos. I'll give this a try
OMG, this is a crime, report it and RUN.
one time i ended up on a kink site after deep searching someone’s username on google lol
Agreed, I am on it already, working on myself with professional help 🙂
Right? I’m 22 and where I’m at in life in is just so incredibly different than an 18 year old, I especially can’t imagine wanting to sleep with someone that age years from now.
Dude probably has the maturity level of a teenager and thinks she was “really mature for her age”
I cook, I clean my pots and pans, and the people I serve typically rinse their own dishes, and put them in the dishwasher.
In my house we do NOT leave dirty dishes around for 4 days, that's…atrocious. Also, that's how you get ants and roaches. Just…dude needs to have some self respect and just do the damn dishes.
It sounds like she has no respect for you and resents you in her home. I'm sorry your lack of finances has caused you to be trapped in this hell hole. Either find another option instantly. Or be confident in your savings plan and count down until you leave. But let the knowledge of you leaving make you feel better and better and better. Not the reverse.
Why do you need a reason?
“I just wanted to bring her.”
Also: red flag if shes nervous about people finding out youre fwb.
The kissing and emotional & physical affair you started was cheating.
The rape was not because it wasn’t consensual.
If he feels bullied it means he’d rather have a kid than breakup. That’s a choice. He could walk away. We all have to make choices in life and then be held accountable to our choices.
Break=Breakup. You're single, grieve the relationship and then move on.
They are a whole shade of red flag on their own. Let them have each other. Gross.
OP's ex wanted her to abort, I'm sure sister pressured him to do the right thing and marry her. Sister pushed for the marriage and kids and is surprised her husband doesn't love her.
I have read a lot of your comments and you just have to let go of this defense that you thought you were doing right. It doesn't matter, you weren't. Whether you meant to be disrespectful or not does not matter to anybody but you, so please stop telling us. I don't care.
You HURT her. How about you focus on that instead of what you were TRYING to do. You failed, so who cares? You're just defending your own image of yourself as a good guy, but nobody is good all the time. Good people do shitty things, and that's the case here. Figure out why the shitty thing happened and make it not happen anymore instead of feeding your own self-image as a good person.
I think you’re conveying them pretty clearly.
“How do I be okay with this?”
Don’t force yourself to be okay with this. If you don’t want to, you don’t want to.
Don’t surrender and say ‘yes’ against your will, purely to make your husband shut up.
Consider breaking up. Your husband does not respect your boundaries and keeps pressuring you. He is a shitty partner.
He needs to move out immediately! It totally sucks while you a pregnant (lots of men have serious issues when their wives get pregnant) Maybe its a symptom but either way he can’t be with you during the time he and you are trying to figure it out. Build a support network with people that’s don’t include your husband. That will be better for you and your baby. Also, use this time to decide if you want to stay in this marriage – you might come to find that you are better off without him.
Wtf don’t be mean
Trusting her may not be the issue. She has no control over what her male coworker does.
I am endlessly proud to be my parents’ daughter and view both of my parents as awesome, irreplaceable, one of a kind human beings. I don’t think of them as “bums” nor do I feel a sense of embarrassment bringing them around – I WANT them to be around – which is the premise of my entire post.
The sadness and shame that I do feel is not because my parents aren’t clad in designer clothing or aren’t taking my fiancé and I on fancy vacations – it’s that they don’t even have the basic stability or footing to be a presence in our lives. They made a series of choices both independently and together that have hindered their ability to be active participants in my shared life with my fiancé – and THAT is deeply saddening.
I appreciate your comment very much.
My husband and I share tracking. I check his when he’s on his way to and from work since his commute is horrible and there are so many accidents, and also to check when I need to make/order food. Same goes for him. To us it’s more of a way to make sure we’re safe, not controlling. We’re 32 and have been together for 11 years.
Why do you feel like this is a controlling thing?
Damn this is so sad. What is wrong with him. I don’t think I would want to have sex wirh him at that point
You don't need to give him this full explanation. Guilt tripping you into sex isn't a normal or healthy thing for someone to do. The suicide threat is another manipulation tactic to keep you 1. in the relationship 2. from bringing up certain topics. No matter how you end it he's going to throw a massive tantrum. Just tell him you're unhappy and things aren't working out, and you can't do this anymore. That's all he really needs to know. Further down the line when he's calmed down you could explain these details to him. Distancing yourself from him is the best and safest option.
How was your mood self-regulation before you got into this relationship 4 months ago? Did you have “short term depression” (or, down days and up days) then too?
You’re not that dumb, and you’re getting to old to act like you are. It’s not cute and your reputation at work is probably in the toilet.
And there are medical benefits
Would like to hear your sources on this