21 thoughts on “Peach-Princess online webcams for YOU!”
Forgive him from a distance. I honestly was only able to truly begin the process of forgiveness when I was no longer so actively terrified of him. I couldn’t even think about affording him that when I was so constantly in a state of anxiety.
However, when given distance, I could afford more kindness. Because I’m not faced constantly with the terror, it’s easier to begin forgiving.
The reality is, you can’t truly forgive in this state. You need to give yourself space to think and rationalize with a clear head. Please don’t go back… good luck. ?
Yeah, I know it’s not an excuse, but I don’t have a lot of friends and sometimes I put them on this pedestal and I put up with the bad behavior and the bullshit that comes along with it. Greta and I had been friends for the past 4 years, so when I came to the realization that Greta had to go, I paused on taking action. I have always struggled with standing up for myself, and I don’t like conflict. But then I realized. It’s going to continue to keep happening, and while she might be on her best behavior now, there’s no way she’s going to get back to the way it was before and I didn’t want to keep going on like this.
I’ve not watched the show, so I am not going to assume I have all the necessary context. But, just from the details here, I would be alarmed if I were in your shoes. Three months in? This is a perfectly reasonable topic to address and sometimes people feel most comfortable by acting like they’re open to an idea just to try and read how the other person responds.
3 years in? This conversation is a huge red flag. At this point she’s presumable very aware of you’re preference towards monogamy. People don’t normally just float this 3 years into dating. In your shoes, I’d suspect that she’s either already cheated or has her eye on someone she wants to get very hot with.
Hey I appreciate the advice, truly. but she is really mature, or at least compared to me. No need to question her relationships or circumstances. Maybe I'm being too defensive, sorry if so.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
This is an F’ed story either you misread their communication and cancelled your wedding or they are just terrible people who you will know see and deal with constantly
You should say no for rough sex as it is clear rough sex is not your thing and if he feels bad over this then you cannot do much. If you let him continue this way then sooner rather than later you will start resenting him for giving you pain all the time and this way your relationship will become unhealthy so tell him how you feel. If he loves you then he will assure you that he will stop doing this and will have sex the way you want to make you happy.
Sex should be enjoyable for both the partners and here you are not getting this pleasure from sex so end this rough sessions and be clear to him that he should not expect this from you now onwards. If he is not happy and wants to have rough sex then he should find a new girlfriend who can let him have rough sex all the time and you find a new boyfriend who is for you and with whom you can be happy sexually.
I would assume that your mom is just projecting her feelings about your father onto you and that’s it’s not about any of what she said. Your father might now allow it? It’s not up to him. I’d also assume he’s not coming to the wedding or will ever know unless told, in which case what’s he going to do? And then if he does something, why would you care?
You obviously don’t associate your surname with a connection with your father even if that’s the literal truth from a legal perspective. You like your last name. That’s why you have it. That’s why your partner wants to take it.
To back up, full disclosure, I’m a guy and I’m happily married. I wanted my wife to take my last name and she did. I tell you this so that you understand I’m not coming at this with some sort of inherent progressive bias.
In saying that, your partner told you he wanted to change his name. You’re not here taking some sort of political stance and arguing with your partner. You seem completely apathetic and even assumed you’d just take his name. But he came to you asking if he could take your name. If that makes you both happy, then do what makes you both happy. If you’d rather take his and he’s good with that too, then take his. But don’t make the decision based on external opinions. It’s not their life and ultimately has zero impact on them.
You don’t need to make them understand. “This is what I’m doing. The end.” Good luck.
Nah that's not cool. People defend checking out in relationships but that's stupid. Keep your eyes on your own prize, why would anything else interest you. If someone catches you eye in an impersonal “good looking human” way you don't control and it's a glance, who cares. But if you linger on and enjoy the sight of other people, that's keeping one leg out the door in my books. Regardless of that, clearly you aren't okay with it and a good partner would respect that and he doesn't. Leave him. You said it yourself. Gaslighting.
no, he hasn’t been to the doctor for this specifically. his twin also sleeps a ton, but not as much as my boyfriend.
and no, my boyfriend is very against drinking, drug use, and smoking. he actually lives a very healthy lifestyle – he eats healthy and works out every day.
i know he is able to stay up if he wants to, it just feels like he would rather sleep than talk to me? idk
Honestly, people are tearing into you because reddit is hugely bent towards barely ever interacting in relationships.
However, you guys really don't sound compatible. Between your BPD and his clear detachment/independence there is very little leeway for both yalls needs. He sounds very detached, very distant when it comes to relationships, honestly I don't see why he bothers (and he definitely rarely does for a reason!).
You need to get a handle on your attachment issues, you should cultivate a life that makes YOU happy, satisfied and secure. This guy will only drive you into the deep end, he will become a constant source of insecurity since he is naturally a very distant person.
Ignore a majority of the crap in here as basic empathy and close relationships are kind of a foreign concept. In this instance, do whats best for you and consider the bigger picture of what this relationship is and what it really does for you.
Forgive him from a distance. I honestly was only able to truly begin the process of forgiveness when I was no longer so actively terrified of him. I couldn’t even think about affording him that when I was so constantly in a state of anxiety.
However, when given distance, I could afford more kindness. Because I’m not faced constantly with the terror, it’s easier to begin forgiving.
The reality is, you can’t truly forgive in this state. You need to give yourself space to think and rationalize with a clear head. Please don’t go back… good luck. ?
It’s normal for you.
Are you happy about it?
Yeah, I know it’s not an excuse, but I don’t have a lot of friends and sometimes I put them on this pedestal and I put up with the bad behavior and the bullshit that comes along with it. Greta and I had been friends for the past 4 years, so when I came to the realization that Greta had to go, I paused on taking action. I have always struggled with standing up for myself, and I don’t like conflict. But then I realized. It’s going to continue to keep happening, and while she might be on her best behavior now, there’s no way she’s going to get back to the way it was before and I didn’t want to keep going on like this.
u/shitreality, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I’ve not watched the show, so I am not going to assume I have all the necessary context. But, just from the details here, I would be alarmed if I were in your shoes. Three months in? This is a perfectly reasonable topic to address and sometimes people feel most comfortable by acting like they’re open to an idea just to try and read how the other person responds.
3 years in? This conversation is a huge red flag. At this point she’s presumable very aware of you’re preference towards monogamy. People don’t normally just float this 3 years into dating. In your shoes, I’d suspect that she’s either already cheated or has her eye on someone she wants to get very hot with.
Yes. You’re so judgmental it’s disgusting
Hey I appreciate the advice, truly. but she is really mature, or at least compared to me. No need to question her relationships or circumstances. Maybe I'm being too defensive, sorry if so.
Hello /u/joosefpen1914,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
yep. This is just too bizarre to stay with a guy who does this.
She didn't leave. She started an affair. There's a big difference.
This is textbook rude, now you're just trolling which is fine.
This is an F’ed story either you misread their communication and cancelled your wedding or they are just terrible people who you will know see and deal with constantly
You should say no for rough sex as it is clear rough sex is not your thing and if he feels bad over this then you cannot do much. If you let him continue this way then sooner rather than later you will start resenting him for giving you pain all the time and this way your relationship will become unhealthy so tell him how you feel. If he loves you then he will assure you that he will stop doing this and will have sex the way you want to make you happy.
Sex should be enjoyable for both the partners and here you are not getting this pleasure from sex so end this rough sessions and be clear to him that he should not expect this from you now onwards. If he is not happy and wants to have rough sex then he should find a new girlfriend who can let him have rough sex all the time and you find a new boyfriend who is for you and with whom you can be happy sexually.
So your fiance is cheating on you?
I would assume that your mom is just projecting her feelings about your father onto you and that’s it’s not about any of what she said. Your father might now allow it? It’s not up to him. I’d also assume he’s not coming to the wedding or will ever know unless told, in which case what’s he going to do? And then if he does something, why would you care?
You obviously don’t associate your surname with a connection with your father even if that’s the literal truth from a legal perspective. You like your last name. That’s why you have it. That’s why your partner wants to take it.
To back up, full disclosure, I’m a guy and I’m happily married. I wanted my wife to take my last name and she did. I tell you this so that you understand I’m not coming at this with some sort of inherent progressive bias.
In saying that, your partner told you he wanted to change his name. You’re not here taking some sort of political stance and arguing with your partner. You seem completely apathetic and even assumed you’d just take his name. But he came to you asking if he could take your name. If that makes you both happy, then do what makes you both happy. If you’d rather take his and he’s good with that too, then take his. But don’t make the decision based on external opinions. It’s not their life and ultimately has zero impact on them.
You don’t need to make them understand. “This is what I’m doing. The end.” Good luck.
Ok. So. From personal experience, 50 year old men don't prioritise social media like 26 year old women do.
That, or he's married.
Nah that's not cool. People defend checking out in relationships but that's stupid. Keep your eyes on your own prize, why would anything else interest you. If someone catches you eye in an impersonal “good looking human” way you don't control and it's a glance, who cares. But if you linger on and enjoy the sight of other people, that's keeping one leg out the door in my books. Regardless of that, clearly you aren't okay with it and a good partner would respect that and he doesn't. Leave him. You said it yourself. Gaslighting.
no, he hasn’t been to the doctor for this specifically. his twin also sleeps a ton, but not as much as my boyfriend.
and no, my boyfriend is very against drinking, drug use, and smoking. he actually lives a very healthy lifestyle – he eats healthy and works out every day.
i know he is able to stay up if he wants to, it just feels like he would rather sleep than talk to me? idk
He was heartbroken when I ended things and pleaded with me to try and figure things out
Meaning: take the abuse to date him..he wont stand up, he will never stand up to them..
What does he expect to just you work it out and he just not do anything and run away from it
THIS RIGHT HERE. BIG DING DING DING!!
Honestly, people are tearing into you because reddit is hugely bent towards barely ever interacting in relationships.
However, you guys really don't sound compatible. Between your BPD and his clear detachment/independence there is very little leeway for both yalls needs. He sounds very detached, very distant when it comes to relationships, honestly I don't see why he bothers (and he definitely rarely does for a reason!).
You need to get a handle on your attachment issues, you should cultivate a life that makes YOU happy, satisfied and secure. This guy will only drive you into the deep end, he will become a constant source of insecurity since he is naturally a very distant person.
Ignore a majority of the crap in here as basic empathy and close relationships are kind of a foreign concept. In this instance, do whats best for you and consider the bigger picture of what this relationship is and what it really does for you.