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After you tell your wife how much you love her and care for her, and how she is the most important part of your life, you text your parents that you'll no longer be talking to them unless they apologize to you and your wife. Cancel Christmas plans. Live! your life.
They should really stop questioning you. Can’t they see that your gf checks everything you post live!.
I meant what I said. You deserve better than you are giving yourself at this point. I reiterate my previous comment, in this case, you are the issue. You are not a bad person in this scenario, there is no bad guy in this scenario. But all these intense and bad emotions you are feeling. Are a product of your abuse and trauma trying to keep you from moving forward and enjoying the present. Enjoy the present and enjoy love when it's in your life. Please believe in yourself op and not the hateful comments and actions of the past that you survived.
I have to look into this, is this a real thing, WOW I feel so taken advantage of.
The bullet is coming at you and you have a chance to dodge it…..
Really curious as to what the school said?
No offense but judging from this response you sound kinda miserable.
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“Ohh, (friend’s name)! You’re so much better than (bf)! I’ve wanted you for so long!”
That’s the way the cookie crumbles. Sucks to suck sometimes.
How you look at all them red flags and decided I gotta lock this down is crazy o me. On top Of that the old “i just went with it shit “ is the least accountable thing pll could do
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When an otherwise monogamous person suddenly wants an open relationship, it's because they want to sleep with someone in particular. Ask her who she wants to sleep with. If she can't be honest about that, then she is the kind of person who would cheat. If she is honest, then it becomes clear she was being manipulative by not expressing that up front. She doesn't want you both to have other partners, she wants a free pass to sleep with this guy. How would she feel about waiting until you find a new partner first, and promising not to sleep with anyone she already knows? Suddenly open relationships aren't so great right?
Well he abused her w o that info. If she had told him he probably would have moved on but she didn’t so he stayed.
So by your opinion he’d have abused her if he had that info and fact is he abused her w o it so either way he proved himself an abuser
I should also mention that he´s married.
What a surprise. I am just shocked beyond belief that a guy who is married and 15 years older than you wants to keep your relationship a secret.
What is the world coming to, when a guy can't get some privacy about a side chick he is hitting on? /s
This is a situation where you have to do this for yourself. No-oneelse can help you leave or give you the willpower to stay away from him. Clearly you are not happy and you listed lots of reasons why you should leave. You know what you have to do and it doesnt involve moving to a new country. Its about getting the willpower to do something! Good luck.
I mean how would a girlfriend feel if a guy told her that I swim in lake with friends and chicks there naked casually. Imagine how she will feel? Now flip that and see what his side is like. Not everybody likes what you like so again communication is a key. She just can’t casually say that without asking or checking with him to see if it’s okay.
Way too up tight.
So I lived on maui for a few years with my SO. There is a popular naked beach where a lot of people go…and omg swim there.
My SO went from time to time to time, sometimes with me, other times without….
So by your logic…everyone on that beach is making questionable choices?
Lol lord…this is how children think. Like you can't handle anyone seeing your bf/gf hot…..my god. Nothing inappropriate is happening
The shit people put up with is mind-boggling to me.
The reason people date around is because they havent found a good relationship to stay in.
You got it. So dont blow it. Youre not missing out on anything by not having casual sex. Dont be an idiot and ruin something other people wish they had.
You've been together for such a short time yet you know his default is to get defensive in arguments? Honey, you shouldn't be arguing enough this early on for you to say that.
This isn't the guy for you. You don't trust him (with reason) and instead of being in the intensely loving phase you're arguing regularly in an unhealthy way.
Thank you I agree just sucks. He told me would reverse it, if it was that important but I know he would just resent me the way I resent him and not worth even asking.
You both want different things for the relationship. He doesn't want kids, you do. He wants to stay here, you want to relocate.
This is what you risk when dating someone much older than you. He's settled, you're not.
That sounds like a great approach. Wishing you all the best!
It’s sad that you’re not going to have a relationship with your MIL but you need to put a cap on that a little bit. It’s his mum, his loss and his grief to carry not yours. I understand desperately wanting a mum (especially at your age, I’ve been there) but you’ve attached yourself to a story that is ultimately someone else’s story that was never yours to begin with.
The yearning for a mother does reduce with age but it takes a few years. I recommend finding a mother figure elsewhere because I know that does help.
Yes. Keep the dog, re-home the boyfriend.
I have a few friends who are competition weightlifters and I have watched complete strangers flip out, puff up their chests, talk shit, and try to start fights simply because we all walked into a bar past them. This happens all the time.
It is WILD how insecurity projects, even in dangerous ways.
You're right. I always regretted not dumping my last ex before I actually did. I'm so mad at myself for not doing it sooner. And I see the same thing happening here.
But somehow all of this is making my anxiety so bad… I'm on the verge of tears.
This is just messy, I think you should accept that she may not be in love with you anymore. She might not be open to discussion because she already said what she needed to say.
You might just be billing out a sinking boat that's already halfway sinking.
Me and my wife also broke up fo a year(we're already married at this point, yes we married early) to finish our college because the relationship is just one stress too many on top of everything else. We were both stressed out and just constantly in a bad mood. I moved out to give her space. And here we are, a decade later, happy and strong because I respected her decision.
If you really love her, then follow her wish to break up. Forcing yourself into her life right now will just make her resent you in the long run. I have way too many friends who did the same to only end up hurting each other more, it's too far gone to fix even if they still love each other.
Oh, we got it. You're being obtuse on purpose.
And that's what your girlfriend has to deal with on a regular basis.
People here are telling you that you have no right to think you have to provide any “consent” to her and her family living arrangements. Including pets.
And you are going on a tantrum about people saying you are not “good partners”.
Given your comments, though, you personally do not seem like a good partner, to be honest…
You don't owe it to your partner to tell them everything about you.
No one needs to know. Nothing good can come from telling him. If you feel like you must then prepare for the worst.
I didn't even think about a PI . . . and I'm on the phone records I've already started with that
“Roger, I appreciate that you’re back in my life and making amends. But Stepdad was there for me for all these years, and he is the man I want to walk me down the aisle.”
Reporting this as a sexual assault is certainly one of her options, if she wants to go there. But it's not really clear yet that she wants to blow up the relationship completely. My impression is that she wants to understand what happened better first.
You only seem to be mentioning text messages.
Do you see her in person?
IF your entire relationship is via text messages, and she ignore your texts, then you aren't in a relationship.
It's a really difficult situation, but you aren't married. It's okay to break up with her.
I don’t even think he does have a crush on her.
If that’s his stipulation, it is what it is. I uh, suggest you just don’t give him a blowjob?
> but if the shoes were reversed and your fiance had done the same, do you think you would just be like “oh yea no big deal, I'm glad you posted my image to strangers in a public forum to verify that I'm not an asshole”?
He is a MAN with a good 50-60 pounds over me. Women are way more vulnerable to domestic abuse than men, so let's not pretend these are even remotely similar situations.
If you dont set boundries now ,it will be bad for you and him. Cause he never learns that in a relationship you arent always in eachothers arms or working.
dont mask it tell it straight up , men dont see hints
Honestly I think he should leave you. You initiated a conversation, he illustrated it with a theatrical gesture, and you’re treating him like he’s violent towards you… what you’re doing is not ok, this is not violence, and your question invalidates the actual violence women go through. You should seek therapy, because if anyone needs to apologize to the other, it’s you.
He wants a live! in maid/stepmom for his kids.
As soon as you're locked down (married/pregnant) expect the gifts and dates to stop.
Also, find someone in your age range.
Any help would be appreciated
First, you have been communicating which is great.
Second, your requesting favors in return is also great, so long as you don't regularly do a tit-for-tat or scorekeeping thing. Matching energy is good, building resentment isn't.
Either she's going to be a spoiled princess her whole life or she's going to grow up. You can't really know, though, which is the problem. The time to break up is when you feel like this is making you an angry/bitter person. That's when it is unhealthy for you.
World’s tiniest violin ?
If it isn’t the consequences of your own actions!
Say no, tell him that that the same way he can’t “afford “ to thank you for working, you can’t afford to take two days off to work like a dog for nothing in return. Look, to be honest, after EVERYTHING you’ve done for him to support his business and he can’t seem $20 on you or treat you to a nice dinner or massage? Dump him. He’s selfish and a user.
No.. him insisting on you wearing a longer skirts is sexualizing you right off the bat. Is he going to ask you to wear a burqa? I mean come on. Tell him no if he doesn't like it he can go stuff it. Never have a guy dictate what you wear. You're both extremely young and he is showing an extremely humongous red flag right now. What would be next you can't wear skirts above your knees, then presuming you wear makeup it's going to be no you can't wear makeup anymore, then no you can't put your hair up or no you can't grow your hair long it's going to be something else and he's just going to keep putting you Tighter and Tighter into this little box. Whatever you do do not marry this guy until he does some massive growing up or stops telling you what to do in regards to your own clothing and body.
You either dump the racist, or you accept racism, in which case you’re also the racist.
Pretty straightforward.
I agree. I don't understand how OP could stay friends with someone who trashed her bf in the beginning and acts like he doesn't exist when they talk. OP you needed to drop him a long time ago. He doesn't support your relationship.
He's not a friend and never was. He will totally try to ruin your wedding. You can tell him that you can't be friends anymore because he disrespects your now fiance and in doing so disrespects you. Then block him. Or ghost if you don't want to confront him.
Make sure no one lets him know when and where your wedding will be. Make sure you have someone at the door who will refuse to let him in if he somehow finds out. Give them his picture.
I'm seeing that now. It's just sad that I'm literally in a terrible position and no one to turn to. It's him or bust. I moved to his city with his family. I refuse to turn to his family in fear that he'll think I'm trying to tear his family away from him.
Condoms are necessary for STD prevention. If PIV sex isn’t working for her, why not just stick to hands and mouths? She may be too stressed out to get fully comfortable, and doing oral/manual a bunch more times without any pressure for PIV may help. She’s only 18 while you’re 26, you shouldn’t be pressuring her to forms of sex that she doesn’t enjoy, and that includes not only specific acts, but you shouldn’t be pressuring her to use hormonal birth control.
But honestly IMO it sounds like you’re not compatible. If you can’t talk, and you don’t enjoy the sex, then what’s left? (IMO both these issues are related to the age gap.)