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She basically saying she wants to hoe out while you provide her security and take care of the baby. Who knows that kid might not even be yours.
The woman got what she deserved however I would feel uneasy at your boyfriends reaction.
Yes pay the damages but an extra 1000 on top of that makes him as bad as her. Although she got what she was giving. He comes across badly for it. It seems like an abuse of power
I’d question his morals and if you were to wrong him either intentionally or not, what would he do.
Hahahaha as someone who read the post and the edit
If she fucks around she’s gonna find out… This would go either way so yea bad idea, but just tell the wife if she Wants to maintain a platonic relationship that’s fine. Then go tell this MFer’s wife listen just a heads up he’s expressed feelings towards my wife while You’ve been married (granted they’re still together) fuck his shit up… then tell your wife I thought his wife ought to know he’s telling a woman while he’s married he has feelings for her…. If your wife gets more mad at you ask her point blankly if she’s having an affair. If your getting to this point it might not be a bad idea to see a lawyer but then again that’s a bit extra
She will never say what you want her to say! ONLY YOU can get yourcown closure No one else can provide you that.
Actually, I think it kind of does. I think it adds a lot of context tbh. And I think it's pretty safe to say it's fully over between the two.
Ultimately, its your choice when to get engaged. You don't need your mothers approval, you can get engaged now, and have your wedding way later.
But, personally for myself I do side with your mother to a degree. I like the confirmation of stability prior to making that next step.
Been with GF for 4 years. She's got 8 more months of school. I graduated, working in my field for past 1.5 years. Paid off most debt. Now saving up for a house down-payment and having a nice financial cushion. Once I feel like I can offer my partner security, I am proposing.
Everyone's path is different and you're in control of it. You don't need others approval to make your own decisions.
How was she able to say no 2 months ago but all of a sudden couldn’t figure out how to say no last week?
Christmas isn’t all about the gifts. We have this hallmark view of how Christmas should be, but it’s all wrong. It’s not about the gifts, but the sentiment. If it’s a gag gift like someone suggested, then great. But if it’s not, then definitely just take it. Especially if his face lights up when giving it to you. If that happens then you know he really was excited to get it for you, which is pure love. When there’s something I want specifically (kinda like what you described what you wanted) I just get it myself on an off season. I don’t expect my hubby to get me what I super duper want for Christmas. We’re adults, so I can just get it when I wish to and allow for gift giving to solely be for the sentiment and not the gift. (My hubby is 25 and I’m 23 as well by the way!) ☺️
If you’re getting the feeling she’s preoccupied on her vacation then just drop a line, “Hope you’re having a good time & don’t want to keep disrupting your fun. Text me when you get back and we can make plans for a second date. Sound good?”
How does a 39 year old man not know this… like duh bro quite thinking with your dick. Never emotionally matured past 18.
My mother and my brother
It’s this sub which is full of women.
It was because she'd be all over me one minute and act distant the next, or tell me during emotional discussions that she doesn't think she's into me, then get upset afterwards and say she's fully into me but was trying to express some other point. It's hard to see her as manipulative but from an outsider point of view, I imagine it's very hot not to see her that way
I’d ask her if someone who loves her like her sister would really cause her (your girlfriend) and her family such pain. Your gf may love this girl like a sister but this girl does not feel the same.
I’d also point out that you and the baby are her family now, and that this friend is hurting her family.
Mate. You need to slow your roll!
You are 21 years old. You have only been together for 2 months. It is WAY TOO SOON, and you are WAY TOO YOUNG to even be thinking about this. You don’t even know this guy, and he doesn’t know you. You are still deep in the honeymoon stage, where everything seems perfect.
Even moving in together at the 1 year mark is way too soon at your age. Who you are now, is very different to who you will be in a years time. And who you are in a year, will be very different to who you are at 25 years old.
TBH, if my partner had suggested we start planning on moving in together when we had only been together for 2 months, I would have seen that as a massive red flag for the relationship.
I can certainly understand the panic that men have over the possibility of pregnancy, however his reaction is concerning. * don't come over * we never had sex * we used protection
Firstly, he doesn't understand how contraception works (or in some cases, not work). He shouldn't really be having sex if he doesn't know. Secondly, he abandoned you instantly. Thirdly, denied any claim that it could possibly be his by making the statement of we never had sex.
You've had a talk of children before but 21 is very young. He's obviously not wanting a child at that age, maybe later, may be never. People can change their minds but what's important now is that after 2yrs he didn't support you, he abandoned you.
Tell your SIL. Your brother is a fucking snake.
do you think her behavior shows that she cares for me? I'm kinda upset to think because thid sti issue is prolonged
You're not crazy. He just has more of his people around to validate his drama.
Alright fair enough. Give them space then, don't expect your wife to immediately start considering him as her stepson. She'll need time to get used to the idea. Likewise to your son. Your family shouldn't feel like you're putting them second to your oldest son.
This is sexual and psychological abuse and it’s the first steps towards physical abuse.
Or someone really insecure
This is something to talk to your gf about ahead of time – it’s going to depend a lot on the family dynamic.
it will be worse later, you aren’t an and guy for ending thing. you would be an ah for leasing her on and marrying her and having kids with her, you both deverse someone that you love
I’m not commenting on the crime but I will talk about dating an incarcerated person.
My husband is incarcerated and will potentially parole next year. He’s in Texas, rules are different everywhere. It is NOT for the weak. At all. It’s a struggle. Phone calls are only 30 min at a time and in the evening there are line ups. We can only visit once a week 2h and 1 video visit a month. I online over 300 miles so I can apply for a special visit that’s 4h on Saturday and 4h on Sunday. This last weekend I only got 2h on Sunday because visit was full. Nothing I could do about it. There are no conjugal visits. Our visits are contact because we are married which means we can hug and kiss only at the beginning and end of visitation, not during it. He is 32 but already has blood pressure and has to take pills to regulate it bc the food in there is horrible. Overcooked and extremely salty. Phone calls are 6 cents/minutes so that adds up. Food for commissary is a must. What they sell is very expensive. So that adds up. Now that they have tablets, movies and music isn’t free. If he wants to read something else that isn’t in the library, books can be sent but again that’s more expenses. And my husband is very lowkey. The spending I have to do is very minimal. But he doesn’t get real check ups. When he’s gonna come home it’s gonna be thousands just at the dentist bc right now if he wanted a cavity taken care of, they’d just pull the tooth. Lack of sex doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would, what hurts is not having that physical intimacy a couple has. I’ve learned to be patient with him and spell everything out, change completely the way I communicate because he forgets what it’s like on the outside. Triggers are completely different and what is considered respect too. For example another incarcerated man told me to have a good visit and my husband took it as a disrespectful thing to do. It’s also a learning curve to not spend every waking moment on the phone with him. You have your life and you are allowed to go out and see friends. You aren’t incarcerated and your life does continue. And you don’t have to feel guilty about it. He never tried to make me feel guilty about it, I did that all on my own at the beginning because I knew he didn’t have anyone to talk to and I knew he had spent like 2h on line to talk to me but I can’t prioritize him all the time. And it’s okay. What makes it easier for me is that my man is truly my best friend. We can still spend hours talking to each other everyday and not get bored of each other. BUT you have to know when to walk out. When you can’t do it anymore it’s okay to leave him. A lot of guys turn to drugs and alcohol in there and if it’s not something you can put up with (it’s also extremely expensive) then don’t feel bad for walking away. You are not abandoning him.
Nobody forced his dick inside her! Lol he trapped himself thinking with the wrong head. He was weak for the pussy and this is the consequence. This was a choice, not a trap or trick lol
RemindMe! 10 days
You can do better, please do better cuz he’s not worth it. Hypocrites aren’t worth it
I was praying thst he got upset you didn't invite him because he loves brunch. But inside I knew he was upset you didn't let him control your life and isolate you from loved ones.
This is what I would tell my daughter if she asked me, leave him this dude is really bad news. Go enjoy meals and time with friends guilt free.
Dude…
Get a paternity test, then either you or her boyfriend needs to move out.
It's called anxiety. You got into your head too much, got too anxious, and it killed your dick. Try to just relax and go with the flow. Focus on how things are feeling. And always have a condom on standby that doesnt require you to go too far to get to it. Even try practicing opening them/putting them on alone, so when the time comes it's natural and easy to do.
And talk to her about it. Just be honest and say you got so nervous/anxious that you just lost the vibe in the moment. Assure her it had nothing to do with her, and was all about you just psyching yourself out by wanting things to go well. She'll most likely think it's sweet that you care so much that you psyched yourself out.
Thank you.
“End of story”
Yep, that's a 5 minute conversation max, let's go grab breakfast
Why is that insane?
So he sees getting oral the same as asking for a foot massage?
Uh sir that’s not how it works. You can’t just ask for oral and expect it to happen and then that your partner will be fine with being essentially used as a walking mouthpiece for him to use when he feels like.
Oral sex is a sex act. It’s not even on par with being a favour like a foot massage is.
My wife and I fall asleep talking to each other… We've been married a long time, and if you want a relationship to last, you need to pick your battles better. This one just isn't worth it. You'll cause more drama bringing it up than you will if you let it go.
lol im just giving you a hard time, the point stands regardless
Your bf visits you ONCE every four to six months.
What are you holding onto here?
Please also consider therapy, you dont HAVE to stay in this or any relationship.
Leave.
Your partner has shown that she is shallow. Does not respect you, and tried to gaslight you after they made the comment.
They are not worth your time or energy
Someone just watched Dead to Me
No fucking way I’d let this pass.
You’re the one who should have dated someone who wanted a “traditional family name structure” instead of a “modern” woman as you put it. You knocked up someone with whom you don’t share values, you kinda should feel like an idiot if not ashamed. Just as she doesn’t get to decide whether you get to see the child or not, you don’t get to decide it’s last name. If you guys wanna argue and go through the courts it’s only going to lead to hyphenation.
And I don’t know where you online but I live in Canada and it’s really not uncommon here for a kid to have their moms last name if the parents aren’t married/together. My older brother has my moms maiden name as a last name so he no longer shares a surname with either of his parents and it matters to no one.
Yeah all these people saying she’s not the same so what does she expect, pretty shitty. One year on isn’t a lot of time since OP says they’ve had some plane related trauma. If OP is actually wanting to get better and trying then she may be better off without him considering he’s ready to walk away over a bump in the road
The craziest thing is as well, she's been sleeping with his friend who also works there. Just can't keep her hands off everyone clearly.
This isn’t BDSM. BDSM is done with a huge idea of consent. A good relationship will involve both parties sitting down and discussing this at length. It would mean establishing boundaries, developing a sense of trust, and going over restrictions.
This is someone being disrespectful and violating your consent. You need a very serious conversation about this where you tell him in very blatant terms that what he did was not okay. Personally, this would be enough for me to walk away.
There are plenty of people your age who don't cheat. You've had some bad luck, that doesn't mean you have to settle for someone who treats you this way.
This is a glimpse into your future with this guy, is this what you want in a relationship?
He will always do this. Accept sexual acts and then blame you for “sins”. And he won't reciprocate anything for you.
He will be a selfish partner that uses his religion against you. It's what he just did and what he'll always do.
Unfortunately you are one of the cases where religious views really are incompatible.
I would end the relationship and move in. He has issues with his religion that he needs to sort out of his own, not with a partner.
I think it's clear there are pains between them. She could be lying simply to squash the entire thing completely. “No, you weren't invited. Because if you were invited then you might want to go which means I have to go into deep self reflection and explain why I painfully do not wish to go to my brothers wedding”
She also has a lot of conflicting emotions about this and really it is primarily her family. Not yours. You may have snooped. Forgiveable. She can also be forgiven for REALLY REALLY REALLY not wanting to go to that wedding.
Make sure he does t make a move on your sister – he’s a lying shit bum
It’s a defense mechanism, and he probably doesn’t have a good handle on his emotions which might be why he doesn’t talk about it and makes drastic decisions so quickly. I don’t know either of you so it’s hard to really say, but does he ever talk to you about the way he feels? How do you react? How is he when making decisions, are they usually emotionally driven? In my opinion it’s like a fight or flight response and the feeling he’s feeling is, I need to get out of this situation now and it’ll hurt less if I end it first.
It can change, it just depends if he’s receptive and self aware with what’s going on. I mean, ask him why he does it and see what he says. There’s so many factors that come into play, just don’t give up on him. I’m sure he loves you and would be devastated if you split. He just needs some help.
Side note – This is just my opinion as I have the same problem as your boyfriend..
Yes I also eat babies and boil cats alive
Bro what you did was so fucked it doesn’t matter if this is true. You’re just gonna have to accept that you are correct, all guys can be scary, and the one she’s most scared of is you. Please leave this girl as much space as she requires and leave her alone if she dumps you.
NTA but you‘ve definitely outgrown him and he knows it. He wanted a wife who’s easy to control because she doesn’t have other friends or hobbies. He wanted to feel superior. And now you‘ve gone and changed your life for the better, the only thing that’s missing is a better partner.
Can you take a leave from school, instead of withdrawing, and tell your father that you accept his ultimatum and have withdrawn (lie of course) from the course since he will not pay?
I imagine your attractiveness as a groom goes down if they believe you will not be a physician, and your father would rather you be a physician than working a blue collar job.
It gives you time to either convince him to pay or use that time to work and look for a way to save money or secure loans or scholarships
Thank you
Helped!
What exactly happened that your family despises your gf so much they don't even allow her into the house?
She said it was the cheapest one from her favorite designer, so I assumed it was cheap.
And those girls hitting on him in the taxi? He’s making it up.
the fact that you're unsure is exactly why people end up in abusive relationships.
I haven't been able to find anything. She's not actually labeled as disabled so we don't get any of the benefits that come with that.
i’m aware. unfortunately i will fall out of attraction to him if it continues though. as his best friend even i think it’s within the right to tell him it looks messy/ offer suggestions. i know if my female best friend was walking around with hair like that i’d nicely say something, because i’d want my best friend to be brave enough to not let me walk around looking like that too.
i’m gonna take the risk and straight up ask if he thinks it’s time for a haircut. oops sorry to the people who think that’s controlling- i’m the most supporting gf in the world if this is the hit i’m taking i’ll do it if it means we’ll gain some intimacy back.
thanks and sorry for the non satisfying resolution
You don't need him to agree to the break up. You told him so leave.
My first just went through something similar with her ex. I told her to get a restraining order. Please don’t contact him and I’m sorry you went through this.
Being super loving tends to matter less the older you get because it's a feeling that changes. A serious relationship with lack of financial stability is a dead relationship.
He might change. But imagine 6 years from now if he commits to change then reverts back to this after a major life struggle.
I did. I thought something bad happened.
He is not making you happy now, and if you go along with what he wants it wont make you happy. If he goes along with what you want, it won't make HIM happy. So, no, you do not make each other “SO happy.” In fact, you're making each other miserable.
Your relationship is over. Spend your energy managing those feelings, not trying to make a car out of gas drive.
I think you might be right in the sense he is practicing weaponized incompetence. There are some things here that can be easily avoided if he practiced mindfulness and patience. The laundry stuff, being rear ended 4 TIMES ??? In under a year, yeah… something on his end…
Food poisoning every few months sounds like his go to excuse…the oldest one in the book. I’ve never heard of someone electrocuting themselves changing a lightbulb before lol he must’ve really not have been paying attention to stick his finger on the contactor ?
As for being pelted by a rock…the promotion…getting robbed, I won’t victim blame here I feel like this is just bad luck. Maybe you don’t online in the best area idk
Honestly lady?? She was paying the bills and rent/mortgage for who knows how long. I hope on top of taking out her stuff she sues for the principal in the home her money went towards too. This girl did so much for OP and her extended family and she treated her like that? I'm glad she's out. She's likely going to be a very successful young woman based on how she took care of OP. Now she's free of their burdens and she can soar sky high knowing she tried her damnedest and they still didn't appreciate her. Now she can focus on herself unapologetically. I wish her all the best. OP it sounds like you need to be looking up to your daughter as a role model, who tf places their burdens on their own child like that?
Yeah. Pretty lame to brag about hooking up with someone when you already have a girlfriend.
Just tell her and get it over with. It will be worse when she finds out from someone else.
Assume your relationship has come to an end.
Hes flirting with you and you don't see it.