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Oli and Mira(PVT open including sex), 18 y.o.
Location: Moldova
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No wonder marriages in west is like made in China product.
I think you should just stop watching porn. She's very correct and I guarantee it would cause some impact in the bedroom. Sexual pleasure is a drug and what you do to reach sexual climax will impact how you want to reach sexual climax. It is not good for you and your girlfriend set a sexual boundary for you that you promised too but broke.
I think you should tell her but assure ymher you are now committed, and do not consume porn again.
I just can't believe the extent and how well she can lie. I don't want to believe what's happened, but my gut knew something was off that night.
I don't know if there are abandonment issues, but she does function at the highest level of anxiety possible at all times. Her mom and sister have fostered a culture of constant worry, but it started mostly after our youngest was born.
No pattern of isolation though, but she doesn't like my family… Just kind of in general.
Very obvious troll lol
So when we met I asked a lot of questions and felt very confident at the time that he was moved on and things in the divorce we’re wrapping up. These behaviors are more recent but yes I agree with you about my child and not wanting to hurt her at this point
Ok so I'm guessing this is a hill you're willing to die on. If that's the case, I suggest you let your GF know what it is that you actually need from her in order to feel as though she's carrying her weight. And that she has gotten heavy and needs to start, because you're not willing to hurt yourself carrying her through life when she's perfectly capable of carrying herself, metaphorically speaking. What I'm seeing from you is a list of things that she doesn't do, and while that's a great place for you to start in your own head, if you're trying to communicate with your partner, it's a pretty shitty point A. I suggest instead that you reframe it into a list of requests, or even better, needs you have that you'd really like her to help you meet. I statements vs you statements. Here's a few examples.
Instead of “you don't pay for anything”, try “I feel like I'm drowning financially trying to carry us both and I need you to contribute more to the relationship in that department”.
Instead of “you don't cook or clean”, try “I've been feeling overwhelmed by cooking and cleaning and working. I need you to step up and make meals at least X times a week and I need you to reliably do XYZ household tasks.”
However, at the end of the day, you can't force her to adult. You CAN refuse to have a partner who won't act like one, though lll. And if you wanted to feel like you'd “done everything you can do”, you can let her know that you're getting ready to pull that trigger on that decision without consistent measurable change from her. And you can communicate that as kindly and honestly as possible.
You may already be ready to walk, and that's totally understandable. I just wanted to offer you an option for a hail Mary that very possibly won't work anyway. Especially if you've already talked about these issues and it's been years without change.
Definitely
You’re definitely my senior but it’s just based on your assumptions. I’m not that much younger than you but much younger to understand times have significantly changed. I’m the least optimistic person any one I know has met but I’m also not an asshole. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. That’s how I online, which is pretty negative. However I’m an equal opportunist on negativity. I don’t assume any single person in a relationship is useless, I don’t assume any gender, race, sexuality, religion or political party is evil. Yet I still don’t trust any of them because that pessimistic or as you would say “pragmatic”. Your view point is skewed by your personal issues but hate to break it to you but maybe it was just because of you
No, I think people have the right to go to your phone.
I guess you're seeing a big difference between ” This is a deal breaker for me I have to have this or I need to leave ” and “please please please don't let this be a deal breaker please let's figure out how to do this because I want this relationship and I need to have these experiences now can our relationship stretch so that I could have them”
It's just a matter of degree as far as I'm concerned and painful for everybody involved
Is the dog getting enough walks and exercise? Try taking him for a long walk right before you want some personal time or are leaving for a while.
As someone who has had a vasectomy, you are giving awful advice. No doctor, NONE, will tell you to elect to have a procedure with the intention of reversing it. That it may be reversable is worth knowing, but absolute idiocy to rely on.
You shouldn't be having ANY arguments at 5 months in. This isn't a good match.
No. “If we were to get back together…” and “I do respect myself enough…” are mutually exclusive in this situation. You want to respect yourself? Put her in the “do not contact ever for any reason” box. Save your sanity, my dude.
I fail to see any point in fixing any of it, based on what you’ve written. You didn’t list any redeeming features of the relationship, you haven’t been together long, and he sounds like a prick. Sometimes things end. Sometimes you should let them.
Sounds like he wants to get laid, but doesn't have any interest in an ongoing romantic relationship with you. Is that something you'd be interested in ?
You've got to talk to him to find out for sure.
Great advice, Trevor
Honestly, a cheater, especially one that doesn’t use protection is NOT worth jeopardizing your sexual health over. You can either protect your sexual health, dump him but work out reasonable coparenting plans, OR stick with him, be totally miserable, and then find out you have something like herpes, the clap, HIV because of keeping him in your life. As someone who knows a woman who is raising children and is HIV positive because of her cheating husband, I can tell you this is a very scary thing for her that can’t be undone or corrected. Please consider your sexual health most important even if you think you can sacrifice your mental health.
He insists he still loves me and only me and that the other women were just sex toys to him.
My advice is never swing a fist. You've got a future and nothing is worth compromising that. Plus even though some women dig that the reality is most find it traumatising watching a fight break out for real. Real confidence would be knowing it is you she is kissing at the end of the night and if that ever stops being true walking away because you know you are better than that.
i just don't get it why is he still feeling confortable going, being aware of this girl's intentions. Like if I had a person who is clearly into me however much I had a relationship, I wouldn't feel good being with such a creep instead of my girlfriend, especially if my gf gave me such an ultimatum. It just doesn't worth it.
If you don't fight for what you love, then you stand to lose everything.
My brother chose not to fight in his divorce, and let his ex run the show. Because of it, he lost EVERYTHING. Including his 401K to her. Do. Not. Let. Her. Make. The. Decisions.
uh what? that doesnt even make sense.
So not being with your sons mother is failing them? So you’ve now failed your daughter twice.
Her self worth shouldn’t be caught up in one pukes opinion. Screw him.
You’re not toxic but she’s trying to gaslight you. Break up with her and find someone who won’t cheat on you
I can’t imagine how they’re feeling. I’m sure it’s tough. But honestly you need to tell them that you cannot keep doing this. That the options are talking about it and figuring this out like adults, or you leaving. But you have to be ready to follow through and actually leave if nothing changes. You can’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm, and this is to the point where it’s damaging you.
You know, people became adults at 18 because old men in boardrooms needed ‘ men’ to go war. Your brain isn’t fully developed until about 25. I don’t even know what you could possibly have in common with this guy.
Ok ig i can't use the friend card. Noted.
Tho I lost you at saying i'm being oppressive bc i gave criticism to a certain group that does not include all gay ppl. It's more of a personal matter than a gay matter if you haven't realized. Why are you guys excluded from criticism? You're human too just like me
That’s why I went to my parents. I didn’t want to impact her, especially after we just talked about my partner coming over less. My mom also said she seems jealous. But it’s not like my life is going super great either. There’s not much to be jealous of.
Denied it was her that messaged me and that someone made a fake account of her lol
Do yourself a favor and tell her and send her any and all pics of you both together cause he might try to gaslight her if he was willing to stick with his lie when you confronted him. And if its on iPhone show the time stamp / date