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I understand what you’re saying. I won’t deny that most of what you said isn’t stuff that I already know.
There are moments when she’ll do something wrong and I kind of just address the problem and get over it. I’m a very forgiving person. I don’t like to waste time holding grudges. Life is too short for that and you never know when you’ll see someone for the last time.
Whenever she’s upset, she believes that I’m not empathetic and barely listen to how she feels. Mainly because, like I said, I ramble on, start defending myself, trying to prove her wrong, and cut her off when I feel she’s saying things that aren’t true. Do you think that it’s a bad trait? Or am I justified in how I feel?
One thing that I failed to mention was that she’s also aware of how she acts. She even told me that she’s toxic. That’s part of the reason why she doesn’t want to get back into a relationship with me yet. She feels like she would rather grow and develop as a person before we get together. She told me not long ago that if we get back together she’s going to eventually do the same thing. There are moments when we’d talk about this stuff and she’d say something like “I really don’t want to lose you. But if you decide to find someone else I won’t blame you.” Or “I hope you never lose the feelings you have for me. But you deserve better.”
I may sound cliche for saying this, but I really do see something in her that she fails to see in herself. She’s beautiful inside and out. When we aren’t arguing, we’re really at peace with each other. There’s nothing to worry about between us. Until she overthinks and start assuming that I’m like other guys. I’m sure if I tried I can just leave and find someone else relatively easy. I’m a good person and I’m a pretty decent looking guy as well. But there’s qualities that I like about her that’s different than most women nowadays.
Her moving on and shopping for other men is something that I’m not worried about. She a very honest person who wants love just as much as I do. But she feels like she needs to “heal”. She told me that she doesn’t want to get into a relationship with me and keep breaking up with me over small stuff. She wants us to last and to be less toxic.
But “years” to heal?? That’s doing too much. Maybe after college since we’ll be done in one more semester. School is stressful so once that’s over, maybe we’ll be more mentally prepared for each other. Maybe. I don’t know.