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If you know these things about yourself and therapy and medication aren't working, what do you really think Reddit can tell you? There isn't a magic button you can press that makes you less exhausting to be around. You clearly cannot stop being this way even with medication and therapy, so maybe just be honest with yourself about who you are and where you're at in life and let him go be with someone who isn't going to rip his head off every time he blinks the wrong way?
Like, why are you here asking a social media app how to fix your brain instead of talking to the therapist you pay who went to school to learn how to help people fix their brains? What insights as to why you can't moderate your emotions like an adult do you think fat_penguin_ass or bud_42069 have for you that someone trained to help people overcome their own shittiness doesn't?