NSFW- I (f25) feel absolutely violated by the “kink” thing my husband (m30) did to me.

This is a little graphic, so please don’t read if sexual-ish things aren’t your cup of tea please.

My husband and I have been married about a year but we’ve been together for five. We are both very into kink and we have been for like basically our whole relationship. It’s very established at this point although I wouldn’t say it’s necessary to our relationship or anything like that.

Anyway, a few days ago, me and him were doing as we usually do. Like I said the kink isn’t necessary, so it’s not an every night thing. This night though, we were. So to keep it brief basically my husband had me face down, butt up, tied, and my hands were cuffed behind me. I was laying there, waiting for him, when I hear the door open and him walk away. I thought he was getting something else idk so I waited for like two mins. When he didn’t come back I called out for him. No answer. The position I was in and the way I was tied I couldn’t really move. I waited for like ten more minutes before I started to fully freak out, feeing like I couldn’t breathe with my face pushed into all the blankets on the bed. I eventually maneuvered myself onto my back and I was sobbing at this point because I really started to panic. He came back maybe half an hour after that and untied and uncuffed me, and my hands were literally blue from the circulation being cut off.

I was absolutely hysterical and also really embarrassed. I didn’t talk to him the rest of the night and I’ve barely said words to him since then. He’s apologized but I can tell he kinda thinks it’s ridiculous. He says I wasn’t in any danger, he was still in the house, and it was supposed to be “fun”. I just feel violated though. Idk how to forgive him for this because I just don’t get it. Could you forgive your partner if they did this? How do I?