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At 5’1 she was morbidly obese when you started dating 350 is approaching heart failure territory. If you truly love this woman, you need to put a stop to this kind of behavior before she literally eats herself to death. You didn’t mention your own weight, but i’d bet you could stand to lose a bit of weight yourself so frame it like that, both of you getting in shape.
You need a birthday and a social security number to add a beneficiary. Your boyfriend is either sleeping with your boss or he's extraordinarily gullible.
If he really is just oblivious to how it’s important to you give him lists with exact things you want ranging in prices and variety. Accept the gifts he does give even if you are disappointed in it. Then later when you bring up hey this is my love language and while it seems superficial to you it’s not to me. Take the love language test together figure out what his. There is enough free info on these that the book isn’t required. Maybe that will help.
If he knows and just doesn’t care then you either accept he is a sucky gift giver and buy your own gifts and decide if this is worth the relationship or not.
My language is gifts and it’s taken years of shitty gifts before it finally clicked in my husband head. He still sucks but as a whole he’s gotten better which I see so that matters more then the gift itself. His is physical touch and acts of service and so he does all these things which I am grateful and appreciate a lot but it just doesn’t fill my tank. And physical touch I can only handle so much so it frustrates him when he can’t rub my back or arm as watching tv. I’ll rub him but sometimes it’s hard for me.
This is an area that I had to really take in whole relationship picture and accept certain things because it’s an area of accepting him for who he is and took away the work of guessing for him because I think at times it overwhelms him. And when he does the random things like a coffee or something I make sure to tell him how thankful I am.
Move out now. This isn’t good for any of you.
You can still do Christmas stuff with your daughter.
Don't buy him a single thing tomorrow. Being enough cash to buy yourself some food and hard chocolate and say sorry babe left my card at home. I only have enough to cover for myself. And then break up with him.
If you're unhappy in your relationship, don't stay with her.
HOWEVER, friends don't sexually harass you and try to coerce you into a romantic relationship. Friends also don't use silence as a weapon. This coworker is abusive and doesn't respect you, your boundaries, or your relationship (not to mention her own workplace).
I see these as two separate issues.
You started dating your girlfriend very young, and as you are coming into your own as an adult, things just aren't lining up as everyone may have hoped. That's completely okay. You can either work together and get back on the same page, or go your separate ways.
That girl at work is not your friend, and is, again, psychologically abusive. As her attention towards you is physical and territorial, this of course is gonna make you feel some kind of way about your intimate space and who you currently give permission to be in it.
Deal with them separately while understanding why they have connected.
Your boyfriend sucks. Be healthy and find someone who loves you for your health and every normal part of you. Do you want to live! the rest of your life with a person who treats you like this? I hope not. Find a light in your life, not a wet blanket.
Hardly a red flag. “She knows better” lul what?!? Some people don't correlate nudity with sexuality. It's just a difference in beliefs. For him, it may be crossing boundaries and so they are incompatible. But dont attack the women just because your beliefs dont align.
Does she also have a tanline on her left ring finger, and she said it was a weird skin condition?
Honestly, if he likes fingering his butt but doesn’t show any interest in being attracted to men, then he obviously has been watching too much porn. Think about this, for years you two have the same sex, but then he watches porn, but he doesn’t watch the whole movie as he has the whole sex with you. He only looks for the most explicit and hardcore and nasty moments and then he jacks to it. Over time regular porn won’t be enough and he will start looking for different stuff. Maybe he even wonders how the woman feels during anal so he wants to test it on himself, hence the fingering.
In my opinion, porn shouldn’t be involved in sexual life. I used to have problems getting hard or finding sex interesting because I was so into porn and sex was just too slow, I wanted the hardcore stuff immidiately. But damn it sure feels good to get horny for the person you’re about to have sex with. Porn really removes this factor a lot.
He denied recording the video, which has him wearing the same clothes as the selfie. He 100% recorded that video for someone and is lying to his wife.
I empathise with you- I have had coworkers crush on me in the past and the trick is to avoid offending people whilst making it clear you are completely off limits. Be professionally friendly- as in, cordial but never personal. Its very juvenile the way they are all behaving like teenagers and I get why that would irritate you. There's also a chance that the coworkers are exaggerating the situation for their own personal entertainment- never underestimate the power of boredom and gossip.
A close lipped smile and a “that's so flattering, but I don't mix my work and professional life” or “I'm actually seeing someone, its new but it's exclusive”. If pushed to your absolute limit- “listen she is a lovely girl but I am not comfortable talking about this any more”. Stay polite but be firm in your boundaries.
Something is seriously wrong with him and I’m just glad you’re okay. There were legitimately points in your story where he sounded like a serial killer, and I would urge you to be a little more discerning with who you are willing to go to unfamiliar locations with or be alone with in the future
How long ago was the relationship?
Transparently I have to actively work at remembering my dating and single times. It seems pretty common as a guy to not remember those details.
Your personal choice to not drink does not stop you from being old enough to drink, so that is irrelevant. you were old enough to be in a bar when she was at an age that she would still need a permission slip signed to go on a school trip. a 21 year old has no business being friends with a 16 year old.
She turned 18 only four months ago, but a year ago is when you became emotionally dependent on each other? SIDE. EYE. she was a child. she's now just barely not a child. I'm hard pressed to believe you don't know what's wrong here.
So this asking reminds me I'd when a man asks for a paternity test. You are saying point blank you are pretty sure he's cheating and that you don't wanna catch something. Bother are 100% valid to feel or worry about. It's valid to ask for a paternity test or for someone to wear a condom because you don't know for sure what they're doing when you're not around, however you can't be shocked when telling someone you think they're cheating on them pisses them off.
The reasons he's saying sound shallow but sometimes you can't put into words your anger. I would recommend going cold turkey on sex until you have some individual and couples counseling. I never find it to be a good idea to have sex with someone you can't trust anymore.
As a child? I'm going to give you the benefit the doubt here and hope you meant teenager. I was a full blown adult though, in the privacy of my own home, performing an extremely healthy, normal, and pleasurable act. I have a life partner with whom I share everything. I've known him since I was 12, we know everything about each other. Who we fantasized about in the past, past partners, I know who gave him his first oral, I know who he lost his virginity to, he knows all the same about me. We have a partnership that is strong, secure, full of love and respect. We have an incredibly healthy (and fun ?) sex life, we're each others support system, we function as a team, and have each others back always. Do you think either of us would ruin what we have, or give up on it, because of some information from the past? And where your bf just told you about it, we lived through it due to us being around each other for so many years. Sometimes we'll be in the car and he'll turn to look at me, and he has this look where I know exactly what he's asking without him having to say anything. All I have to say is “hell yes” and within 5 minutes we're somewhere private and he's tearing my pants off because we couldn't wait to get home. We love one another completely and unconditionally, we still are incredibly attracted to each other, we trust implicitly (I trust NOBODY, I trust HIM with my life and everything in it), we have mutual respect, the list goes on. What you're asking your bf, is quite honestly NONE of your business and asking him can bring up things that he might want to forget. But no, you are incredibly selfish and his feelings mean nothing to you. If I focused on nothing but the fact that I personally know his firsts, or that I know at least 3 of the chicks he's jerked off to, etc, if I cared at all about ANY of this to the point it disgusted me, I would have missed out on getting to spend the rest of my days with the love of my life. We knew at 12 and 15 we'd be inseparable, we didn't know it'd be in a romantic way until later on, but I would never, in a million years, throw away the life I have with my soulmate over knowledge of who we've each rubbed one out to. I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry a man will never be able to tolerate your childish, unhealthy and unrealistic views on sexuality and self pleasure and you'll never experience what it's like to have a true partnership with someone. Your bf is not creepy, he's not, disgusting, but what is creepy and disgusting is you asking everyone that comments if they have done what he did. You need professional help before even thinking about being in a relationship.
Tomorrows post:
My GF found a condom wrapper we used months ago and she made a reddit post about it.
Everything was great and all but, I can't shake the feeling she wouldn't trust me. I've never given her a reason not to trust me. Why would she do this?
Literally so true. I still remember when I was around 19-20, thinking to myself: “I understand why there’s age gaps in relationships! I bet when I’m 30 I’ll still fancy 19 year olds!”
And now I’m 30.. it’s like… “eww, no.”
Most people under 23 seem like actual children to me
Why get with someone to be begin with that has completely different values then yourself? Should’ve left a long time ago, on the bright side you’re only 32, have a great career and plenty of time to live! your best life going forward.
Stop being a fucking door mat, for fucks sake. It doesn’t matter if they “fell in love”, your “best friend” is a shitty person for having them in the wedding party and still associating with them. Im gonna be blunt. He is your best friend but you are not his. He doesn’t value you and you need to wake up and smell the roses. He hasn’t even invited you to be part of the wedding party yet he has asked others….
be honest
Exactly this. Prob time to think about your exit plan.
Well first off, there’s nothing wrong with not hooking up on a first date. Don’t feel pressured to do anything with his dick if you feel too uncomfortable. There’s nothing wrong with taking it slow and just making out or getting handsy. If the dude puts too much pressure on you there’s nothing wrong w walking away. But, if you like the guy and want to go there, just let it flow naturally. He’ll let you know what he likes. He may take your hand and put it on his dick, that generally means you’ve got the go ahead to give him a handy. Doesn’t mean you have to give him a handy til he gets off either, that’s the beauty of foreplay. You can get him good and hard that way then proceed to the next step if you’re feeling it. I dated a guy once that took forever to cum, a lot of it was just nerves, and like my arm would get exhausted if I had to jerk him off long enough to get him off? so it was usually a warm up step, then we’d proceed to the sex, or the oral, however it happened.
If this is your first time ever real-life seeing a dick, I mean congrats cuz I didn’t know that was even possible, but just take it slow and don’t feel obligated. Bring condoms, let him take the lead and let it progress naturally. That’s the best you can do. If you end up with a mouthful of dick and it’s more than you bargained for but you still want to have sex, then do that. If you’re about to have sex and change your mind or if it hurts (it will hurt your first time) then stop and maybe try a bj. On your first time there’s no real right or wrong way or order as long as you both feel pretty comfortable.
Whatever you do pls don't tell him that his looks don't matter ? I don't think that's what he wants to hear.
If you see that she really puts a lot of personal effort into her classes and extracurricular activities, there is a possibility that she is telling the truth, but more likely she was just saying no politely