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Thank you. So I guess I won’t respond if he does reaches out or say I’m not going and move along
Because when you split you have a judge or mediator set out who gets what. Without that you have to hope the other person agrees.
That's the entire point. You have a legal framework for how to settle things.
What a terrible day to be literate.
Are you ok dude? This must really suck.
I have like 5 videos of my wife sleeping. In all the videos she’s snoring loud as fuck, and I use them as evidence as why I didn’t sleep well.
Honestly, they find her toxic and they aren’t obligated to like her or your relationship. So them cutting you off by proxy is okay imo, since you plan on staying and continuing the relationship.
OP. Any HR person. Any expert. All therapists.
They will tell you that you abused your position to get to her.
You don't want to think yourself of the bad guy. I know you do. But you were a 28 year BOSS who convinced his assistant that she NEEDED TO BE WITH YOU. Every single person, if asked, will tell you that you did this. In your head, you perhaps thought you were just being slick, that she chose this. But in her position, she has few career options and the nice man who's a decade older then her and she works closely with is repeatedly attempting to convince her to date him. There's so many conflicting feelings around her sexuality, her future, everything, that she probably feels it's the best option. So she says yes. Despite being barely out of being a child.
There are so many red flags. And it's disgusting. And the fact that you see it as normal is disgusting.
So i'm going to force you to think about it another way because you don't get it and you're reverting to calling us all maniacs even though if HR at a normal company you would've been sued, fired, even potentially been investigated by the police.
Imagine having a daughter OP. She's 18, not too sure of the world and dating someone her age. She comes home and she tells you that her boss is repeatedly trying to convince her to date him. He's a decade older. She seems unsure, but he's in very close proximity to her and also has the power to fire her if she says no. She does say no originally, but he's very persuasive.
Tell us how you would feel about this man.
Honestly. Tell us. I want to know your answer.
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Didn't you post this yesterday
Tell to your grandmother that she must be much more concerned about her stupid son and their decisions than about you. She educated her son for being an absent father for 13 years. She might be there but all this time but not him.
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Does this desire to experience sex with different people and multiple at once make me a bad person
No. You're an adult and you get to make those choices.
does it classify as cheating?
If done without his consent while in a relationship with him? absolutely. If he's included? Absolutely not. If he gives you permission? Not.
how would I manage to experience sex with other people, while being open with my boyfriend about it and staying in a relationship with him? We’ve talked about the possibility of having an open relationship or the such and he is fine with it as long as he isn’t involved and he knows I’m safe, but a part of me feels as if that’s cheating.
If he says “okay but don't tell me” then you have permission. And… don't tell me.
If you feel guilty then… don't do it.
Just remember… you can't undo it once you've done it. So you better be damn sure its what you want and you better follow the rules and boundary set between you two.
It’s not a real relationship. It’s a real abusive situation.
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Well I mean she’s scared after a home invasion and her fiancé isn’t there. If all the guy is doing is basically house sitting, he should try to be a little understanding. A home invasion is pretty traumatic. Your house is typically your safe space. And when someone invaded like that, it’s very very scary and ruins the idea of it being your safe space.
Her clicking with someone is usually how it starts with her. The person online was someone she continued to develop something with, insisting it was friendship. Her boyfriend at the time thought it was a female friend. My sister eventually hooked up with the guy for a few weeks then broke it off and her boyfriend at the time was none the wiser. The whole time it was happening my sister would update me like it was some exciting romantic news, as if she didn’t have a boyfriend completely oblivious to it all happening.
Because people who have actually been to rinks know what the reality is. You even have other women in this thread who have played on coed teams telling you that this is how it is.
OP also didn't describe it as “large” or “spacious” but that didn't stop you from making that assumption.
And, ultimately, it doesn't matter how big the women's changing room is. OP's girlfriend wants to hang out with her team, that's the whole point of playing beer league.
My very Italian family was the same way. My teething gums had whiskey rubbed on them, I was given a very small glass of homemade wine with Sunday dinner (like a shots worth) when I was a child. I personally don’t think it was a bad thing they were doing, as it normalized having a small amount of alcohol for me. I never felt the need to go crazy when I reached legal drinking age because it wasn’t looked at as the forbidden fruit. However, I still don’t agree with giving a child alcohol to put them to sleep. That’s crossing a line for sure.
Met a five year old or met an alcoholic?
Also true. I guess I’m more so worried about him reacting positively to it and then in return I won’t want to move. I’m not moving for any particular reason.
It kind of just started out of nowhere.
Wtf does menopause have to do with Shakira being cheated on?
Pique and Shakira got together officially in 2011 and he cheated on her TWO YEARS after they got together, with Israeli model Bar Refaeli. Shakira was only 35 or 36 at the time.
This has nothing to do with menopause.
She’s not a child. She can make a different choice than moving 23 hours away by renting a room or something. You shouldn’t feel obligated to support her financially.
> My landlord also divulged my boyfriend's yelling and stuff were factors in why he evicted me because I had been fine for years beforehand
Take him wanting to stop dating as a sign. Make it permanent.
Wow you’ve been doing this for 3 years?
You both suck
You already have thrown in the towel but not left.
It was also sabotaged from the start because you didn’t choose someone you were attracted to.
Stop wasting time because time can’t fix your current issues.
When we call, it seems like she just wants to find something to fight about.
That is not unexpected, Iteir, if your GF is an untreated pwBPD (person with BPD). My experience — with my BPD exW — is that whatever you do will be hurtful to her much of the time. For example, a comment or action that pleases her on one day may greatly offend her when repeated a week later.
Moreover, she often will perceive you as being hurtful when you DO something and hurtful when you DON'T do it. In this way, you often are damned if you do and damned if you don't.
This conundrum is due to the position of her two great fears — abandonment and engulfment — at opposite ends of the very same spectrum. This means you often find yourself in a lose/lose situation because, as you back away from one fear to avoid triggering it, you will start triggering the fear at the other end of that same spectrum.
Your predicament is that the solution to calming her abandonment fear (drawing close and being intimate) is the very action that triggers her engulfment fear. Likewise, the solution to calming her engulfment fear (moving back away to give her breathing space) is the very action that triggers her abandonment fear.
Consequently, as you move close to comfort her and assure her of your love, you eventually will start triggering her engulfment fear, making her feel like she's being suffocated and controlled by you. A pwBPD usually craves intimacy like nearly all other adults — but she cannot tolerate it for very long.
Because she has a weak sense of self-identity, she easily becomes very enmeshed in your strong personality during sustained periods of closeness and intimacy. This is why her sense of personal boundaries is so weak that she has difficulty seeing where HER feelings and problems stop and YOURS begin. Yet, as you back away to give her breathing space, you often will find that you've started triggering her abandonment fear.
In my 15 years of experience with my BPD exW, I found that there is no midpoints solution (between “too close” and “too far away”) where you can safely stand to avoid triggering those two fears. Until a pwBPD learns how to better regulate her own emotions and tame her two fears, that Goldilocks position will not exist. This is why a relationship with an untreated pwBPD typically is characterized by a repeating cycle of push-you-away and pull-you-back.
Indeed, even if you are sitting perfectly still and not saying a word, a pwBPD who is experiencing hurtful feelings will project those feelings onto you. Her subconscious does this to protect her fragile ego from seeing too much of reality — and to externalize the pain, getting it outside her body.
Because that projection occurs entirely at the subconscious level, she will consciously be convinced that the painful feeling or hurtful thought is coming from you. This is why an untreated pwBPD usually BELIEVES the false accusations coming out of her mouth (at the moment she is saying them).
Hence, as long as you remain in a relationship with an untreated pwBPD, you often will find yourself hurting her — i.e., triggering her engulfment fear as you draw near, triggering her abandonment fear as you draw back, and triggering her anger even when you are sitting still and saying absolutely nothing. At least, this has been my experience, Iteir.
Not worth staying, there is no compromise on this, the sooner you call it a day, the better. There are lots of people that don’t want kids, please don’t stay with someone that does.
so should they just … break up?
Peg em.. ?
Bf is actually creepy about porn, not his butt. Or maybe both.
Ask him what type, or just leave that shit! But I kinda wanna know, so if you ask, let us know. For science