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Nikki Blackcat, 32 y.o.
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I mean that makes it worse because he took that decision away from you. If it was a deal breaker and it was your decision to make, not his.
You say you stopped doing overnight trips because you respect cultural differences. But does your boyfriend respect your culture? I don't see any real compromise; he makes demands, and you agree.
Another thing that worries me is the way he's pushing you to cut off your longtime friends. Abusive partners love to isolate someone from their friends and family so that they have a harder time leaving. I don't know your bf's reason for wanting you to stop having friends, but it is behavior consistent with being abusive.
How much has OP saved for the down-payment?
she said they want a house over a million dollars ? thats the problem with people today. saving money is easy if you dont try to keep up with the kardashians
Honestly, sounds like you need to move out, your mother seems abusive and controlling. Stop apologising to her, you are a grown adult, she doesnt need to know what time you go to work or not unless shes driving you (in which case, time to start catching public transport!)
Wow, what a piece of sh8.
All they are doing is wanting him to reward her for her poor behavior.
The fact that you're planning an “engagement”, and is not something that's done between two people, sounds like you may be from Asia or another culture. I highly recommend posting this question in a relevant group that's connected to your culture.
The train ticket with return only cost me €200 but It would cost me at least €600 more to go there (4 nights hotel and food and if I want to buy myself anything cute then more likely closer to €1k) and I’ll be mostly wandering around alone and there’s a garbage strike. I mean I’m sure I can find something lovely in Paris but I’m also ready to cut my loses at this point ?
You have a moral obligation to tell her— about you, about the Princess Bride, about how you found out about her, about what he's been telling you about her not really being his girlfriend but instead being some kind of emotional charity case, about him wanting to continue hooking up with you, and about all his many Tinder matches. Send her screenshots of your conversations, and tell her where she can see evidence of his Tinder activity.
Empower her to decide her own future, with or without this asshole
Then go no contact. You do not need this poison in your life
He could not bring the children BECAUSE one of them was sick! If you don't believe him, then you don't trust him, and you should end the relationship. I know sick children don't want to move, especially to make you better.
No shit? He could have still said something. That would hurt anyone. It’s not that he was tired.
She’s not going to change after 10 years because you enable her by cleaning up after her.
You need to decide if she’s worth wasting another 10 years of your life or if you want to find someone more compatible for the long haul.
Buy your own home. Let him stay with his.
She’s going to do this again. You need to protect your child
You have two choices. Continue to stay and be even more miserable or take a chance to find more happiness. The relationship isn’t going to get any better. You can at least temporarily improve your commute while you plan your next steps. Consider which options are likely to improve your life and happiness. You can’t undo it immediately? Fine. But you can make slow steps as necessary to remove yourself and set yourself up to be in a much happier position.
I think there's something missing from this story, something's happened in the past.
Stop. Stop all of this. All of it.
Wow. I would rather hear something clumsy and from the heart than something fake. Is he usually a jerk who minimizes and ignores your feelings, or do you think he's embarrassed to have done something so stupid and he's trying to play it off?
Thankyou, I will try to get help.
Nope. Her “humor” doesn’t jive with yours. You don’t seem to have a friendship with much substance tbh-I’d call it a day on that friendship.
You partner is allowed body autonomy, as are you and everyone else. If someone has wanted a body modification for years they should be allowed to get it without their partner taking it as a personal attack
Gah thank you ? that means a lot
I read in one of your comments your wife still hasn't signed the divorce papers. You probably don't realize this, but she probably won't be signing those papers.
Sounds like she's playing games here. She was telling you about these jobs and apartments, but nothing ever came to fruition. She was baiting you hoping you'd be upset and beg for her to stay. That's pretty clear when she suddenly does a 180⁰ once she learns you've started to move on. And you've stated her changes have already dwindled after only one week.
From now on, do not have sex with her. You're only telling her you're going to stay by doing that. Don't care about her making changes and working out/dieting. She won't continue with that if you say you'll stay. Stop being a husband to her in every way. But, don't leave the house. If you leave, it can become more difficult to get custody. Also, if you haven't yet, cross-post this on r/divorce. They'll have some solid advice for you.
It’s fair that she might be uncertain about her sexuality, but also her responsibility to make decision on either she want to keep a relationship with you or kiss other girls to confirm if she is a bi. She CAN’T ask you to compromise and let her take both.