He didn't 180 I'm afraid. He just started showing you his true colours. I'm honestly not a fan of the jump to insta dump on a lot of these ones but honey, get out. This is no good, and the time you waste trying to fix him is time of yours wasted.
Be grateful. I’d love to do that for my girlfriend one day so she doesn’t have to worry about anything and just gets to relax. If she told me she was upset with it, I’d be hurt after putting in all that effort. Say thank you to him
I know he's your bestie, but he's not even being a good friend to you right now. You deserve better friends and boyfriends. And that poor girl needs to know what's up so she can make a choice for herself.
then let him be wit those women. leave him. if he thinks he is too good for you, he'd treat you worse and worse as the time goes by. get financially ready to be alone. why are you staying in a relationship that give you gain nothing from?
That's not something you say to anyone no matter what. She does know he's going through a really tough time right now and chose to say it anyway. OP this isn't someone you stay friends with. What she said is horrible.
Please consider that his debt is not $4k, but much higher than that. Paying off $4k in 2 years is very do-able. Don't be shocked if his actual debt is much higher.
If this is a deal-breaker, then let it be a deal breaker. This is who he is. He admitted a problem to you, but has been hiding it from you for a year. He may be hiding other things, and will hide other things in the future.
See him for who he is, not the fake or untrue ways he portrays himself to you. He is fundamentally dishonest. Use that to temper your love for him.
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Set her free. Your girlfriend's situation is every woman's nightmare. Not the marriage part. Much rather the part where her presence is not really appreciated, her loss would be merely inconvenient. Let her go because that will erode her self-esteem like nothing else. She might not know about your doubt but she must feel it.
So you are fine with her flirting and putting her self out there for other guys to flirt with, but you don't want her hanging out with her friend group that she has known alot longer than y'all have been together? How does that make any sense. You are controlling and she needs to get out of this relationship fast.
Maybe this is just a buildup of some thing and not just Valentine’s Day itself. He could have stuff going on at work and doesn’t want to bother trying to get a table at a place to eat when it’s most likely going to be packed. I know because I’ve had a hell of a time, not being able to book a place when I should have done a week prior. My wife and I decided not to do anything major for Valentine’s Day, but just go out this weekend and get discounts chocolates.
I agree he shouldn’t have reacted the way he did. Cooler heads prevail, so maybe reach out once he’s able to have a conversation about it.
I really appreciate your time and thoughtfulness in responding I’m gonna do what I can to help it click but at the same time there’s this part of me that shouldn’t feel I have to explain how or why it’s wrong when the world shows us everyday’ i’m stuck between a rock and a very hot place
You stop bringing it up. She doesn’t want a threesome, so either you drop it and give up the idea of having one while in this relationship or you part ways and do what you want. If you coerce her into one then you’ll end up single anyway.
I think your heart is in the right place so stop asking your kid questions, get yourself some books or Facebook groups and read up. And you need to take over dealing with the grandparents, your son isn't doing anything wrong and you need to protect him from family that won't accept him. If you keep acting like him being teans is something he needs to hide from other family members, you are going to push him away.
In reality 9/10 people wouldn't be comfortable with their partner dancing with a stranger at the club but on Reddit you will be gaslit into believing that it's totally normal and you're insecure
Because family court still heavily favors the mother in custody issues especially if the children are young. It's called “the tender years” in legal jargon. It's slowly starting to change. But, it still has a long way to go.
You cannot control the actions of other people, and neither can he.
You need to get a hold of this way of thinking, and stop it, because you’re going to end up as that person in a relationship who is throwing plates because your BF is on a project with a woman at work.
I mean, after 8 years, why haven't you brought up the topic of marriage. One of you has to bite the bullet and bring it up, instead he's apparently happy with the status quo of living together but not fully committing, and you are getting resentful.
Frankly yeah, I think either he isn't committed to you fully and had no intention of it, or he's actively hiding something from you, like a past marriage that he hasn't bothered to complete the divorce papers for, a kid with someone else. I can't see why he has his mail sent to another house other than either he's extremely lazy (though updating your address take less time than driving to your parents house all the time for mail) he's leaving himself an out by keeping that as his main address, or he's hiding something from you and doesn't want you to see the mail.
Either way, you need to broach the topic of marriage now before you get more resentful to even figure out wear is going on in his head.
It’s time to talk calmly and explain that like him he can see other man attentions you see her attention towards him. Tell him it’s obvious she have a crush on him and try to find any excuses to spend time with him and you can’t take any longer or it will put trouble in your relationship. She is trying to be close to him and he must distance himself or it will not end well
Maybe she’s trying to foist you off on her sister?
He didn't 180 I'm afraid. He just started showing you his true colours. I'm honestly not a fan of the jump to insta dump on a lot of these ones but honey, get out. This is no good, and the time you waste trying to fix him is time of yours wasted.
Be grateful. I’d love to do that for my girlfriend one day so she doesn’t have to worry about anything and just gets to relax. If she told me she was upset with it, I’d be hurt after putting in all that effort. Say thank you to him
Stop keeping tabs on a piece of shit and focus on your girlfriend.
I know he's your bestie, but he's not even being a good friend to you right now. You deserve better friends and boyfriends. And that poor girl needs to know what's up so she can make a choice for herself.
then let him be wit those women. leave him. if he thinks he is too good for you, he'd treat you worse and worse as the time goes by. get financially ready to be alone. why are you staying in a relationship that give you gain nothing from?
That's not something you say to anyone no matter what. She does know he's going through a really tough time right now and chose to say it anyway. OP this isn't someone you stay friends with. What she said is horrible.
Wait she was 16 with a 20 year old. He wouldn’t be around at all with many dads
Probably has an active only-fans.
She’s definitely married
Please consider that his debt is not $4k, but much higher than that. Paying off $4k in 2 years is very do-able. Don't be shocked if his actual debt is much higher.
If this is a deal-breaker, then let it be a deal breaker. This is who he is. He admitted a problem to you, but has been hiding it from you for a year. He may be hiding other things, and will hide other things in the future.
See him for who he is, not the fake or untrue ways he portrays himself to you. He is fundamentally dishonest. Use that to temper your love for him.
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Set her free. Your girlfriend's situation is every woman's nightmare. Not the marriage part. Much rather the part where her presence is not really appreciated, her loss would be merely inconvenient. Let her go because that will erode her self-esteem like nothing else. She might not know about your doubt but she must feel it.
You request condom and he won't and inserts without? That's called sexual assault.
If he can't wear a glove then he has no love except maybe himself and he sure doesn't respect you.
So you are fine with her flirting and putting her self out there for other guys to flirt with, but you don't want her hanging out with her friend group that she has known alot longer than y'all have been together? How does that make any sense. You are controlling and she needs to get out of this relationship fast.
Do you know how dates work?
I feel like you are worried about the wrong thing here.
Your fiancé is 29. Not making much income. And has no aspirations to do any better.
CC debt aside…. Why would you saddle yourself to this situation?
Same
You don't say anything at all. Nothing you'd say would convince her otherwise. You don't have to talk to her and that's it.
Maybe this is just a buildup of some thing and not just Valentine’s Day itself. He could have stuff going on at work and doesn’t want to bother trying to get a table at a place to eat when it’s most likely going to be packed. I know because I’ve had a hell of a time, not being able to book a place when I should have done a week prior. My wife and I decided not to do anything major for Valentine’s Day, but just go out this weekend and get discounts chocolates.
I agree he shouldn’t have reacted the way he did. Cooler heads prevail, so maybe reach out once he’s able to have a conversation about it.
They were like you slept with him and like him, and now that you and your husband are separated you should make a move towards a relationship.
I really appreciate your time and thoughtfulness in responding I’m gonna do what I can to help it click but at the same time there’s this part of me that shouldn’t feel I have to explain how or why it’s wrong when the world shows us everyday’ i’m stuck between a rock and a very hot place
Yeah, now that he has you to do his scut work, he's perfectly OK using animals or financial issues to force you to do it.
You stop bringing it up. She doesn’t want a threesome, so either you drop it and give up the idea of having one while in this relationship or you part ways and do what you want. If you coerce her into one then you’ll end up single anyway.
porn stars are required to test before every scene
This is absolutely a generalization you shouldn't be making
Stop “helping”
I think your heart is in the right place so stop asking your kid questions, get yourself some books or Facebook groups and read up. And you need to take over dealing with the grandparents, your son isn't doing anything wrong and you need to protect him from family that won't accept him. If you keep acting like him being teans is something he needs to hide from other family members, you are going to push him away.
In reality 9/10 people wouldn't be comfortable with their partner dancing with a stranger at the club but on Reddit you will be gaslit into believing that it's totally normal and you're insecure
give the poor girl her freedom, if you really love her, and take the blame, so she does not develop insecurities
Because family court still heavily favors the mother in custody issues especially if the children are young. It's called “the tender years” in legal jargon. It's slowly starting to change. But, it still has a long way to go.
I didn't write impossible, but the chances are higher she was not
You cannot control the actions of other people, and neither can he.
You need to get a hold of this way of thinking, and stop it, because you’re going to end up as that person in a relationship who is throwing plates because your BF is on a project with a woman at work.
I mean, after 8 years, why haven't you brought up the topic of marriage. One of you has to bite the bullet and bring it up, instead he's apparently happy with the status quo of living together but not fully committing, and you are getting resentful.
Frankly yeah, I think either he isn't committed to you fully and had no intention of it, or he's actively hiding something from you, like a past marriage that he hasn't bothered to complete the divorce papers for, a kid with someone else. I can't see why he has his mail sent to another house other than either he's extremely lazy (though updating your address take less time than driving to your parents house all the time for mail) he's leaving himself an out by keeping that as his main address, or he's hiding something from you and doesn't want you to see the mail.
Either way, you need to broach the topic of marriage now before you get more resentful to even figure out wear is going on in his head.
It’s time to talk calmly and explain that like him he can see other man attentions you see her attention towards him. Tell him it’s obvious she have a crush on him and try to find any excuses to spend time with him and you can’t take any longer or it will put trouble in your relationship. She is trying to be close to him and he must distance himself or it will not end well