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I'm sorry but you're not going to change his mind if he's determined to do this to himself. You'll worry yourself sick over it and you deserve better in a relationship than that. If it were me I'd break up – this is a fundamental incompatibility.
It sounds like you might have outgrown this relationship. That’s okay – it happens!
When you marry someone you just don't marry them… you marry the whole family. You are already not having a wedding at church so you should compromise by having their wishes met by having a pastor. A marriage is all about compromise. It's about making someone else happy and not just you. His mother will resent you and hate you for the rest of your life and it will put a wedge in your marriage. Tell her to bring on the pastor and online happily ever after.
What the fuck did I just read?!?!!?!? Today I learned. . .