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I cant see them either so don't worry
No, it's not and is actually against the law in many places. I would not marry a man that held this belief.
(Not OC)
As someone that left a mentally abusive marriage by contacting a Women's Shelter – YES.
If he can not respect you, your vows and your marriage do not respect his values of privacy.
Just do what you have to do to get closure. Once you have your proof, filing for divorce and moving on to a stress-free life will be much easier.
Theres no waste. In 40 years, it will be a fun memory of that time you dated a very hot e-girl, as you walk down the beach with your wife and kid
I would take a very dim view of that behavior but I am concerned about your marriage because you seem to view your assets as exclusively yours rather than shared money that you and your wife have together.
I don't think you should give him a penny but your wife has to have a voice in that decision.