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OP did you just fuck off to the woods without having a conversation about your relationship and how to maintain it?
Also also, you can do have any boundaries you want, BUT when in a relationship boundaries do not exist in a vacuum and they have an impact on those around you
I have a cousin that before he had kids would being a new girl over to every family event/ bbq. We all said hello and cracked jokes with the random new woman, knowing damn well she wouldn't be coming to the next one. Some people will just jump the shark .
She's gone, dude.
Visiting a kink page for locals isn’t concerning behavior to you…?
That's super disrespectful to your relationship. Imagine her reaction to saying you would hookup with a girl with a tighter and juicer vagina, I doubt she would be okay with but it's the same thing. A relationship without trust is not worth being in IMO.
Move on. Completely. Never look back.
Focus on the other aspects of your life and become the happiest, healthiest, and most fulfilled version of yourself.
You're still young, there'll be plenty of other opportunities for relationships in the future
Tell him you don't trust him and he needs to work on himself. If he admits all these faults then it doesn't take 1 speech to solve. He needs major therapy and you can't be around for that.
I have a few thoughts about this, but you guys cannot just move on without addressing the elephant in the room as this will just fester without being addressed.
Regarding his accusation, I would insist on specific details and whatever “proof” he has because this is the only way you'll be able to explain whatever inconsistencies he has found. I've parsed enough reddits to know that sometimes friends and family are less than honest sometimes so someone could have lied to him, he could genuinely have found some inconsistencies and this is his only answer or he could just be lying.
Regarding the idea of “confession through projection” I think that it is possible that this has happened (and much of the comments seem to suggest this) but if he genuinely has been cheated on before, he could also just be paranoid (for example, I have trust issues due to prior incidents and trauma and need reassurance when I find inconsistencies with my partners) and maybe all he needs is some reassurance (reddit hates that some people don't just have blind trust, but people are human). However if you suspect that he could be cheating and using this accusation to mask it, dig deeper and see what you can find (usually looking through his phone would be the first stop).
I will say that it is kind of strange to accuse you of something and not immediately supply any evidence or thought pattern, if I have any thoughts like this with my wife I do the adult thing and explain my thinking, talk to her like an adult about why I think what I think and give her the chance to talk about it from her perspective and I find that this yields more productive conversations than just stonewalling or shutting down.
I know at this point it's basically a reddit meme but you could try couples counselling and that might also help. Either way good luck and I hope to see a positive update.
You gotta keep your pimp hand strong.
Honey you’re too young to be waiting around for a grown man to change. Don’t waste your 20s waiting for someone to not be abusive, leave his sorry abusive ass and find happiness for yourself
My darling have you heard the gone girl “cool girl” monologue I suggest you read/listen to it
Same, OP must be going crazy.