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All of these hurtful things he said are him bucking against the reality of actually being married, not just getting married in Vegas. He is in no way on the same page as you about marriage and about some other things. It sounds like he at the very least has kept a lot of things that have been getting to him in the relationship from you, which wasn't fair but pretty common unfortunately. He may not even have realized these things until you told him you told your family about getting married. You can't change this on a schedule. In fact, I don't even think you can change this at all. The hurtful things he said might just be his easy excuses to get you to off the marriage topic, since you said they're things you're already insecure about. Unfortunately, you can't change anyone or make anyone do what you want, that's the biggest lesson you need to take from this relationship.
Honestly lmaooo if I was gonna write a “nice guy” character for an SNL sketch this would be too much
Well, you tried. You likely aren't the first and won't be the last. Let her try to live in denial.
Thought it would be because of him, he sounds like an asshole and abusive which is probably why your friends hated him. Break up with him and try and get your old friends back, if not get new friends
This sounds just like my ex who also worked a manual labor job.
It doesn’t get better. Don’t have kids with him, for the love of all things holy. It gets worse.
Is it really his fair share when he says he'll make up the time, doesn't, and then the OP has to take out advances on her CC to keep a roof over their heads?
Then what happens when he gets fired for his inability to take accountability for himself? Lather, rinse, repeat.
Right, people are forgetting this was a PORN game. I would absolutely feel the same way if someone was getting aroused by murder games lol. Theres a difference between simply watching pretend violence in a movie and being aroused by pretend violence towards women
Selling feet pics would be an example. You’re selling your body for money
So what I'm getting is that you told him “hey btw I'm not really okay with dating other people anymore so I'm going to go back to only dating you” and expected him to just magically do the same without you needing to tell him?
Y'all should go see a couples therapist so you can learn how to communicate properly.
It sounds to me like this is less about the actual workload and her needing to feel appreciated for what IS being done vs you bringing up what isn’t being done. I would (for one week) come home, not discuss any undone chores…. Just be glad to spend time together, embrace what you have. Down the road when this clears a bit ask if there’s a way you can both determine a chore schedule so things aren’t pressuring either of you and there’s a better balance!
I see some defenders in here. This is typical for this sub. If a woman had posted this it would be a unanimous “dump the loser”, but a man posted it so.. suck it up buttercup.
Fuck all of you defending his GF.
I'm sorry it happened to you, those men and women that seek out that kind of relationship dynamic are pure scumbags.
You open your mouth and use your words to ask him if he beat someone up. Because as much as the native is wonderful to hear of, you, as someone who’s been assaulted, probably need to know if you’re dating someone capable of physical violence.
What is and is not appropriate in a relationship depends on the relationship. If you feel this is crossing a line you need to have a talk with your partner about is. You need to make it clear that this is a hard line for you if this is how you feel. If your partner don't want to respect you boundaries then you may be better of single. Also don't end a relationship for not being what other people expect a relationship to be. Only end a relationship that is not the way you want it to be.
If you immediately tear someone down because they have something positive in their life you are literally the definition of an asshole. There is nothing that this dude is doing in real life that will redeem that behavior.
You don’t know a thing.
I know this is really hard to hear, but men are sometimes willing to change when they find the right person. When he was hooking up with you, he never felt the desire to make it serious, but he feels that way with her now. Whatever spark or connection he needed is there, but it didn’t exist between the two of you.
This doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you, y’all just weren’t meant to be.
i was wondering that as well, but it was public and he definitely discussed what happen to several people. i don’t think it is a manipulation ploy (manipulators tend to not discuss their plan with other. bragging, for sure, but not discussion). this seem more like insecurity to me. and because it was dues to insecurity, i find it weird that he wanted a divorce.
Honestly, it sounds like Emma needs therapy just by herself.
I am so sorry that this is happening for you. It was never what you envisioned for your life when you made your vows. But you’ve got this. You will find your momma bear inside and rise up to create a beautiful life for yourself and that little nugget cooking inside of you. Best wishes to you and the baby ❤️?
You’re not obligated to help her at all, certainly not to the point of opening your home to her or something. She burned that bridge a long time ago.
I would personally probably pretend I never saw the email. Delete and move on. If you feel morally obligated, you could send her list of local relevant resources for her situation, but please don’t welcome this person back into your life with open arms after what she did to you.
I mean we do have these conversations from time to time, but sometimes he gets too defensive that I will have to try again another time sorta thing
She had no problem leaving you over shit like that, you need to stay broken up dude. Find someone who ain't as insecure and would actually trust you.
All childish games. Decide if you want to grow up or not and end these games.
Well yes, it is an ultimatum because you don’t want to live like that. So what? You have a right to decide how and who you want to live! with. Do not give him any more money. And yes , if you’re not moving in you should get your items back. Just let him know once his brother is back on his feet you will then consider moving in again. It’s not a no, it’s just a no for right now.
If their partner is fine with being controlled? Ok, sure I guess. That doesn’t make it not controlling though.
She may not have cheated but she definitely betrayed you and you should be running for the hills.
Dude, don’t wait and see. Unless you are looking for some skin, let her go. She will give you the run around. This was a red flag.