Everyone here is blaming him as usual, saying he can’t communicate.
It sounds to me like this is a persistent issues, that OP even admits she tries to work on only to quickly go back to her old ways. At some point in a relationship, you just know that talking about issues like this won’t do any good.
You say if she was such a horrible wife, he should have left her. I have a feeling that’s not too far down the line.
This was my first thought. It sounds like you all celebrate Christmas. It's so, isn't it one of the busiest times of year around you a few days before? If it's romantic, why are you not giving it to her on the special day or holiday weekend? Is she not busy doing a lot of stuff in prep for the holiday?
I don't think I am asking her not to have friends and I would never ask her that nor would I want someone to ask me that. I'm expecting of her not to do 2 specific things which is to not go clubbing and not to go traveling for fun without me in a group of friends, that is all. When I agreed for us to be in a exclusive relationship, even tho its not what I preferred but she wanted that, I will honour that agreement and would never cheat. But since I've accepted some of her expectations from a relationships and my freedom is limited by that, I also expect her to accept mine.
Ok I am all for change and growth, but you can't make him change or grow. He needs to do some of this work on his own but it sounds like he isn't interested at this time.
It sounds like you have trouble respecting other people's boundaries, and your boyfriend has trouble managing his reactions to things. He's creating all of this drama over a misheard comment? He says he doesn't want to see your family, so you greenlight a surprise birthday party? This was a failure on both sides.
From my understanding, you are the one paying rent, and you and Velma are not together, so she really has no say in who you bring home, or when it’s an appropriate time. Y’all aren’t together anymore, so it’s okay to set boundaries. If she’s not paying rent, she’s essentially a guest, and is not entitled to call the shots.
It’s easy. You think about running back to someone who is irresponsible with sexual health, doesn’t respect your request for protection, and actually gets angry when you do the sensible thing. Then you ask yourself, “is this the best man I can find? In the whole world, THIS is the best guy?”
Block him and if he spams then change your number and clarify to anyone who gets it that he is NOT to have it. It’s a minor (but free) annoyance but it will do the deed.
thank you for your input, i will take that into account although he's not going to relocate for me but because of his studies, it just happens that we'll be closer
He is not mature enough to be dating
Everyone here is blaming him as usual, saying he can’t communicate.
It sounds to me like this is a persistent issues, that OP even admits she tries to work on only to quickly go back to her old ways. At some point in a relationship, you just know that talking about issues like this won’t do any good.
You say if she was such a horrible wife, he should have left her. I have a feeling that’s not too far down the line.
Sorry . But. How are y’all getting married if he doesn’t know what color you like (in a ring ?)??
This was my first thought. It sounds like you all celebrate Christmas. It's so, isn't it one of the busiest times of year around you a few days before? If it's romantic, why are you not giving it to her on the special day or holiday weekend? Is she not busy doing a lot of stuff in prep for the holiday?
Sorry, but I think it’s “her” boyfriend. ?
I don't think I am asking her not to have friends and I would never ask her that nor would I want someone to ask me that. I'm expecting of her not to do 2 specific things which is to not go clubbing and not to go traveling for fun without me in a group of friends, that is all. When I agreed for us to be in a exclusive relationship, even tho its not what I preferred but she wanted that, I will honour that agreement and would never cheat. But since I've accepted some of her expectations from a relationships and my freedom is limited by that, I also expect her to accept mine.
2 not gay men have sex twice should be a sitcom
Genuinely first time I hear of genital lice.
Although I do agree that it doesn't have to be with bad intentions.
Ok I am all for change and growth, but you can't make him change or grow. He needs to do some of this work on his own but it sounds like he isn't interested at this time.
It sounds like you have trouble respecting other people's boundaries, and your boyfriend has trouble managing his reactions to things. He's creating all of this drama over a misheard comment? He says he doesn't want to see your family, so you greenlight a surprise birthday party? This was a failure on both sides.
Sure jan
Yes, let's sit your five year old down and talk about it.
From my understanding, you are the one paying rent, and you and Velma are not together, so she really has no say in who you bring home, or when it’s an appropriate time. Y’all aren’t together anymore, so it’s okay to set boundaries. If she’s not paying rent, she’s essentially a guest, and is not entitled to call the shots.
It’s easy. You think about running back to someone who is irresponsible with sexual health, doesn’t respect your request for protection, and actually gets angry when you do the sensible thing. Then you ask yourself, “is this the best man I can find? In the whole world, THIS is the best guy?”
Block him and if he spams then change your number and clarify to anyone who gets it that he is NOT to have it. It’s a minor (but free) annoyance but it will do the deed.
Sounds like she doesn't want kids. If you do then you need to end it with her and find a woman who isn't materialistic and wants kids.
thank you for your input, i will take that into account although he's not going to relocate for me but because of his studies, it just happens that we'll be closer