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None of this should have happened. Let's look at this, what makes this guy an asshole, first he supposedly is a good friend and second, he's sober.
She drank too much (if her boyfriend was telling the story, you would be saying she is using the I was drunk excuse). Then there was the flirting in the car on the way to her boyfriends' apartment (so they were leading each other on). Then in the apartment he makes a move on her, and he kisses her, and she admits to hesitantly kisses him back (she drunk but not drunk enough that she doesn't knows what she is doing is wrong by her own admission). Then she states one thing led to another and they had sex. But she said she don't remember which is the I blackout excuse.
What is missing, she was sober enough to know what she was doing was wrong but never in her description nor in any of the following replies does she ever state she tried to push him off or told him to “stop”. If she says it now, it's too late.
This was just one mistake after another, drinking too much, boyfriend not taking her home, ' trusting a not friend, the flirting, the friend taking advantage of her, her not telling him to stop which has now ruined three people's lives.
If you don't tell him before you go on the trip it will make you look really bad, like you cheated on him and still wanted a free trip (even thou that is not your intention). Going on the trip will make you look like a cheater and a liar.
He's abusing you. Leave before he kills you
She's 31 living at home. You really think she's ever going to leave?