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When I was your daughter’s age I would take baths with my mother, but never showered with my father. You’ve done nothing wrong.
Ya, he was being an ass. You should’ve figured that out after he complained about paying the first time instead of trying to get a second free meal. And who is to say that he is the only one that needs to try and impress you? Maybe you should be trying to impress him too by paying
No one is your best friend after only two months
Yes.
Never had issues with it.
Pulling numbers from your ass is never going to help you come across as more believable.
There's bound to be friction
Good response!
Jesus Christ you should not be in a relationship with your level of maturity, what the fuck?
Hahah absolutely, but I'm no angel, I've definitely found myself in a position where I've wanted to sleep with other people. And, as I said I'm quite open.. sleeping with a prostitute is the lesser evil of cheating with another girl
You tell her you will use a condom otherwise you will not have sex with her, simple as that
She's not consenting to sex with somebody who is sleeping around. You are putting her at risk of STI's and she's had no say in her risk. That is why it is uniformed consent.
These others are just stuck that it’s only used to treat opioid withdrawals and it’s not. It’s used for acute and chronic pain as well as anxiety and depression. SHOCKER it’s also used on animals in veterinary medicine. And this particular medicine “Buprenorphine” doesn’t come in pill form either.
What have been the hardest things about yourmarriage
Delete messages and block, you don’t want to get in trouble
Go secretly get a vasectomy and then agree to give her a baby.
Checkmate.
Make and female identical twins??
This is the best advice in the thread. Make sure it's an ugly dog. Send holiday cards of you and the dog every year
“Sorry my dogs walkers sisters Bestfriend is really important to me and I can’t imagine putting you above her”
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But I’m so mature for my age! He never treats me bad except for… this and this and this. He only beats me when I deserve it and forced me to get an abortion. He’s only 65 and I turned 18 last week. We are so in love!
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Debating on whether to repost this as its own comment. I really hope OP see's it and it doesn't get lost in all this chaos.
People don't choose their parents. And everyone I know has parents that are racist to some degree. (Including the none-white friends. In fact, I have one half-Mexican, half-Black friend whose families hate each other.) Prior generations were just raised that way. It results in a lot of conflicting feelings – you hate that your parents are racist, but you've bonded with them and have spent more time with them than anyone else. As you said in your original post, it's not always as simple as just cutting them out. That's not even getting into other things like financial dependence.
If you two really love each other, then I wouldn't just give up because of his parents. You're not dating them. It sounds like he's just being protective. The right thing for him to do is to tell his parents that you're dating and that any racism will not be tolerated. If they double down, then at that point he should cut them out if he's serious about the two of you. If they're more apologetic and willing to change then you can go from there.
I will say that I haven't had to deal with race as an issue but I am a bisexual man who has kept that fact a secret entirely from my own family, and I would be willing to do the same for any man I dated. That's just me, though. We all have our own comfort levels.
Did the family seem to take it in stride? I do not think you deserved any “advanced notice” about these gifts, because I do not think they were meant to be serious. She did it to get a reaction.
I do not think you should talk to anyone except your husband, and you can ask him if this is something that is par for the course with his grandmother. You two are married, so I would imagine he would know that these types of things make you uncomfortable in front of others.
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If you are not ok with this behavior then it is not ok. She doesn’t respect you. Dump her
You still believe there is a chance, so you're unable to let go. Even if you think things could change, she told you her boundaries and you can't on-line your life according to what might happen if stars align and everything goes according to what you wish. You need to accept this isn't the girl for you, stop seeing her, and let time work. And yes, it will be very difficult, but I don't see any other option when she has told you no and you can't go against her wishes. To be fair, she should have put distance between you when she noticed you developed feelings for each other, it's not fair to you to keep you around like that. She enjoys the company and is being selfish. She is not considering how this situation is for you, she only thinks about how it's comfortable for her to have you as a close friend
Why are you with someone who hates animals???
Do you have people in real life that you can talk to and/or trust? What about parents/guardians? They'll be able to provide good advice on this.
Exactly. Reddit hates men.
Yeah, I'm on different meds but gained 15lbs in about three months. Very unnerving when that was more than a tenth my body weight.
She definitely needs more help. OP, if you mention these issues make sure to address them as lifestyle issues. It's not about wieght, it's about health. It's about walking freely down your street and keeping up with everyday activities. I'm currently dealing with the 2 hr naps everyday, and we're doing some slow med juggling to try and iron it out. The weight isn't the problem, it's that she's probably too fatigued and defensive to get more help, when I imagine she already feels like she is struggling, but weight is one of those topics where we are trained to think it is our fault, so she likely feels guilty.
I have to carefully put water in first so that my pills don't touch my tongue because they IMMEDIATELY disintegrate into the most hateful experience.
Yikes. Your wife did the right thing. She was honest with you, went about getting a transfer, and is not seeing or speaking with the coworker since she’s working from home now. It seems like she’s taking all the right steps. Developing feelings or a “crush” sometimes happens when you are around someone you get along with a lot. But ACTING on that crush is something else. I’ve had a “work crush” before, but guess what, I got over it. It lasted a few months, we never communicated outside of work. I loved my husband more than anything, so I quickly realized it wasn’t worth it. The fact that you’re so upset about this makes me think you’ve secretly wanted a divorce all along.
My daughter and son-in-law have separate rooms for this reason. They are very happily married and they both get a good night's sleep.
How does gambling not count? If it wasnt anything he would have told you and not hid it so he knows it counts.
Also that’s simply what you found, odds are there is more but can’t be sure on that.
He is gaslighting you and it’s working. Don’t question yourself, he lied and broke trust, it’s as simple as that.
I’m sorry.
It is the last resort if she is a threat to herself and is vocal about being suicidal (especially if there are plans like she knows how she will do it and so on). Then it's not about wanting to go there or not – there is no other choice in that case.
Reading the comments I see the issue. OP wants to control the situation. Won't tell the husband the truth, won't take any advice given, won't get a job. She doesn't want help. She wants everyone to tell her she is being abused and throw hate at the husband. SMDH
But talk to your wife before going this route! Having a restraining order against the sister could (will) make things very, very complicated with the whole family. I'm not saying don't do it and I'm not saying it isn't warranted – just that you should talk to her about it first.
You’re right. I just don’t understand why he then begs for me back every time.
It looks like everyone learned a lesson that day.
Might as well have some fun with it, not everyday you get to traumatize your entire family at once.
Definitely get some cream filled pastries for dessert.
He may have been morbidly obese and lost a lot of weight requiring excess skin to be removed, leaving scars and he is very self conscious about it. It may be from something tragic from his past. In the long run, he isn't ready to talk about it, so you need to leave it alone. It isn't like he has an upside down cross or German WWII cross tattooed on his chest. Let him open up over time. If the “secrecy” becomes too much, maybe you should just walk away instead of upsetting him.
No. No he's not using tinder to “meet female friends”. Don't lie to yourself.
He says his bio says he's in a relationship.. IF it does, which the chances are slim to none, I've encountered that type of guy on dating apps. They're not looking for friends.
Don't accept being the reserve.
She says she's happy single so don't get back with her. Doesn't matter if she is talking to anyone else, single people still talk. It sounds like while you were “open” she wasn't aware of your behavior, so how open was it really? Open relationships have communication and avoid hiding and lying.
And yeah her having sex with someone after the breakup isn't cheating or betraying.
What makes you think you aren't the lucky one having him as a bf?
I think he means mentally
You are a bunch of shit people that don’t deserve to have pets.
I feel a lot like she is selfish. She loves everything that I give her and always tells me how great I am as her partner, but then she also wants to have everything else. Like it is never enough. She always wants more.
have you considered that the abortion ruined your relationship 2yrs ago and that your gf has been psychologically unable to become aroused by you since then?
Mate breaking up with her is probably a good idea. Because she seems to be projecting. I won't be surprised if she's the one who cheated and just used that as an excuse.
Make sure your friends knows of this in case she does something stupid and makes you out as the bad guy
Sounds like your FIL is ego hurt that you’re more successful than him and you don’t “deserve it” because it originated from your father. Technically, you have to be good in business to continue to have a successful one so he is being very petty.
This is odd to me though. I’m a daughter and don’t all dads want to make sure the husbands of their daughters can take care of them well?
That's a tough decision. As far as the depression and bipolar, it's not necessarily all genetic. Much of it could be upbringing and lifestyle choices. If you do a good job and give them consistent structure when they're young as well as a strong sense of identity and purpose then I'm sure they'll grow up just fine.
You yourself also need purpose. Kids are a common and strong source of purpose but there are alternatives. Having adventures and free time is not a source of purpose. I guarantee that if you don't find something greater than yourself then your depression will worsen.
As far as the feeling for kids, that doesn't come until you look into their eyes for the first time.
If you do decide to have kids then be sure to get married. If your aren't committed enough to get married then you aren't committed enough to have kids.
This is exactly what happens with my boyfriend's phone and wrong locations, they're just benign ones.
Just send back “TL;DR” (too long, didn't read) then delete it.
Block his email, block all further contact. You owe him NOTHING. You're under NO obligation to forgive anyone for how they wronged you, ESPECIALLY considering that he's not actually concerned about YOUR well-being; just his (he is quite literally asking for your forgiveness so he can absolve himself of his past mistakes. Do NOT give that to him. Let him struggle and writhe about it for the rest of his pathetic life).
If Mike asks about it, just tell him “he's still acting like the bitch he always was.”
He didn't just lie the once. He lied over and over and over again.
When he made the plans with them, he was already planning out his lie.
When he told you he was going with his brother, he lied.
When he told you where he was going, he lied.
Every single day that passed between him planning the trip to yesterday, he lied.
When he got home and you asked about the trip, he lied.
He only came clean when you confronted him with the truth. He's probably still lying about something. In fact, you can almost guarantee it based upon his previous lies.
I don't blame you one bit for not trusting him. If you do decide to take him back, just know that it's going to take a lot of work on HIS part to gain back your trust and you will likely never be able to fully trust him ever again. If trust is something that's important to you in a relationship, know that he's already shown you how far he's willing to go to get what he wants without concern for your feelings.
That’s her decision to make ?♀️ it’s just a suggestion
Not all of us want to screw a lot of people. Many of us are fully monogamous- we don’t want to have sex with someone that isn’t our partner, so it’s not “the best of both worlds” at all
It is unacceptable behaviour. But you're making it out like he sat down and planned this. More likely it was a heat of the moment thing. He was hurt, and lashed out at her in response without giving it any thought.
Now if this happened often, OR the thing he said was more serious like bodyshaming or threats of violence, then I would say he needs to do way more work on himself and would hope the other person would get out of the relationship.
But all he did was essentially call her manipulative and likened her to her mother.
Pretty tame stuff.
Discover page is also what you explicitly don’t follow. Why just not look at his feed instead?
Probably does not make sense to stay in this relationship if he’s considered cheating multiple times.
I wanna add a tought to others people advice : A lot of times when you invite people for free they will view you as a cow to “milk ” when they want. Sounds cinic , but it is what it is. I had friends that acted all friendly when needing me , then it's maybe 7-8 years I don't hear from them.
I haven't been wrong though. Your mom refused pain medication and now you're a pro-life idiot trying to fuck up other women with fake stories. Pathetic
Thank you, im reaching out to friends I havent seen in a while and making plans to see them and go out more
I am hoping this works out too. That poor little girl.
That’s a good response
I learned to pay bills directly when my mother cried poor. I had my own family, and her electric would be getting turned or the gas bill was due. It got to the point where I finally said I wasn't her bank and figure it out on your own. Hell, if she just stopped buying clothes, her bills would have been paid.
I have
I on-line in NI, and you can get anywhere in the country in 90mins!
Take your virginity/celibacy and RUN girl! He’s a danger to you right now
Be upfront. Something like: I like you, I’d like to date you, like a couple , not just FWB, like monogamous .
Since our boy was born my husband started treating me like I’m a child
It sounds like your husband is angry because he's feeling neglected compared to the time you spend with your son. Are you carving out an appropriate amount of time for just the two of you?
Regardless, being insulting, demanding, dismissive is no way to treat your significant other.
Ask your husband if he thinks you don't spend enough time with him. If he says that's NOT the problem, then tell him you both need to attend couples counseling. If he refuses to do that, then see a divorce attorney because you cannot raise a child in such an ugly, hateful, unhealthy environment! Better two happy homes with single parents than one miserable home and an intact family.
It's not a big deal. It's just dating, and your dad has a right to date, and tell you when he wants to.
You sound like you ARE drama.
You are overreacting by a huge factor.
Don't give it to him then.
She came back because of the vacation, do yourself a favor, dump her, and focus on yourself.
But he doesn’t do it in front of his family or friends. This is how you know that he’s perfectly capable of moderating his reactions and is deliberately reserving his overreactions for you. He’s manipulative, likely has an anger issue, and behaves like a ridiculous child. Stop tolerating it.
I would be careful with your relationship with your bf. He won't cheat on you, but he will bring unnecessary drama to your life. He's a rescuer, and they can be very very exhausting.
As a fellow rescuer, once I became a mother I mostly quit, because I didn't have the time. But I realize that rescuing people is a fool's errand, Now I will lend a little hand to people, but I won't rescue them.
Your bf's friend does not need a little hand she wants your bf to rescue her. And she will make it more and more difficult to do so. He's already putting his relationship at risk to rescue her. If she moved in with you two it would be a very destructive situation.
I think bf needs to cut ties with friend. There's a reason everyone else has, and it's her.
Updateme!
She broke up with you or the other way around
I think i’m more on edge because this is the first boyfriend I’ve really thought about long term things with- moving in together, etc- and I wanted my friend’s support. I didn’t expect a full psycho-analysis of him when I asked what she thought, but it felt a little like she was purposely ignoring things that were good (he helped me cook and clean up, he helped me take care of my old & sick dog, etc) for this thing.
Yeah I’ll talk to her and see how she thought things went. She told me she’s already talked about it with my other friend and they were “horrified” at his response to one question (the reading one). He didn’t answer in single words for the entire evening, they did talk more and more, but I feel like once he gave one short answer she was less willing to see how he opened up later on.
Funnily enough my boyfriend isn’t actually upset at all, it’s mostly been me that’s been unhappy with the situation. But you’re right, I’ll just talk to her about her perception of the conversation.
Uhh, personally I'm on discord servers I wouldn't want my husband to look at. Not because of what I talk about on there but because of what others talk about. And no, it's not about sex.
I believe that people who talk to me have the right to expect that things stay between them and me and the same thing goes for my husband as well.
Also girl…a potluck in a remote area sounds like a nightmare. And so does a group chat with 30 people
Things like that don’t just happen. He actively chose to make out with her, he actively decided to let her go down on him AND he actively chose to get her off as well. That’s at least three decisions he consciously made with no regards to your feelings.
If you want to stay with him, stay with him. But don‘t tell yourself that he didn’t actively choose to cheat on you because that’s sadly not true and you know it. How is he planning to get at least some of your trust back? You‘re in a long distance relationship so that makes things extra difficult.
Well, she maybe thinks you are hitting on her (which you are) and it doesn't sound as if she's all that keen.
You can keep the interaction alive by an occasional text, but don't push it. She's probably busy. Also you don't even know if she's already in a relationship!
I understand, but definitely no embarrassment here just worried about my parents not accepting my decision.
Block. And dont talk for a month before meeting the next person, rarely does this ever work out.
Honestly I wouldn’t be okay in persisting in a sexless relationship indefinitely either so I can see his point of view. Probably important to know how long “awhile” is. It’s pretty standard to at least have had sex before making and declarations of undying love.
Buuuuuuut it was 2 years ago and she's in a relationship WITH YOU. Not dick appointment guy. You're the red flag bro.
I've just looked up Narc traits in a relationship and he definitely displays a lot of them. I've never let him get away with this behaviour unchallenged and he always tells me it's because he's still not used to being with someone he can trust or someone as confident in themselves and easygoing as I am. Maybe I'm silly for thinking he needed time to adjust to a proper adult relationship and unfortunately this is just who he is. Thank you, I'm never going to accept his behaviour and if can't see how his actions affect our relationship then its a losing battle.
While you need to confront her about it as a cheating, there is something I should ask. Were you planning to marry her? If yes, why dies she on-line eith her roomate instead of you?
My 8 year old cousin knows what an accountant is. I think he was trying to insult her and knock her down a peg by pretending he has never heard of it. If he really is that oblivious… then OP needs to raise her standards
Have a lawyer and everything pretty much ready to go, unfortunately have no solid evidence of any cheating on her part so need to wait a year, well few more months, before can finalise everything