My (f59) son (m34) is the one responsible for my granddaughters (f1) death. I have no idea how to deal with this and move on with my family.

This is not about his daughter but his niece. I have 2 kids. My daughters daughter passed due to my sons stupidity.

My son Andrew marries Alexis 8 years ago. I am by no mean a Monster in law. Never have been. But Alexis is a nightmare. She is anti science pro Facebook science, she is awefully entiteled and is sinking all their savings in some MLM scheme. And as such… they decided not to vaccinate their kids. They have a son (m10) and a daughter (f6).

A month ago my daughter, Jenny, came over with her baby to pick up some of her old things. She decided to stay for coffee and cake. Andrew and Alexis moved right across from us after the lock down lifted. My husband and I assume, it's because they were planing on using us a free childcare.

Anyway, as Jenny was over Alexis rung the doorbell. Before I could even say hello, her kids came spilling in. They are nice kids. Somewhat bratty but they do have a heart of gold. I love them so much. But because od them not being vaccinated, I don't like having them around the same time as babies. I tried to keep things calm but the kids had run upstairs to where Jenny's baby was sleeping and were cuddling with her. I managed to get them to come down. But they had bee with the baby for a few minutes.

Fast forward a few days. Jenny calls me in tears telling me her and her fiance are in the hospital because their baby had a high fever ans couldn't breathe properly. My husband and I hurried there. Then we spent the most excruciating 17 hours in the hospital that sadly ended with my granddaughter passing away. She had apparently caught whooping cough and her little lungs couldn't handle it. My daughter is absolutely destroyed.

I had a stinging suspicion and called my son. I asked him if his kids had been sick. He said that they had a nasty cough and a little fever but that they had managed. I don't know what happened. I lost it. I just started breathing heavy and crying nude and couldn't say much more but to say that his niece died because of him.

He had been calling me and his sister. And we haven't picked up. He has come over multiple times and I have not opened.

I tried to calm down and tell myself, that it's probabe that she caught it from someone else. Only that my daughter hadn't taken out granddaughter to places with kids for almost a month. Maybe at a super marked or in a walk. But my husband pointed out that it was likelier she caught it trough close contact. And it is possible to catch it outside. But not as likley.

I feel so mad… so angry. I don't know what to do. I on-line my other grand kids. And I feel like they are gonna suffer with them as parents.

How to we go forward? Jennybis never gonna forgive Andrew. And I don't know if I can.

Tldr: my son didn't vaccinate his kids. They gave my daughters daughter whooping cough. My granddaughter died as a direct result of this. I don't know how to proceed in life.