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i find it hot to leave. he has been nothing but sweet to me before this happened. i'm wondering if this is just a tiktok trend he saw and started doing
A should be S and S should be A. A for ahole, S for side piece.
Being dependent on a financially reckless SO won't automatically make you happy.
In your other post, you already mentioned that he's spending stresses you out, mainly because you want him to have enough money to support you….
So living an unhappy but independent life is better than living a happy one?
If you want to enter this sort of sugar baby arrangement, up to you. Just be prepared for this to sour your relationship, and for him to hold this over the head in the future, at least every time you have a disagreement about money.
Yes, you love each other…but at 6 months you barely know each other, especially not your true selves.
I miss my husband when he’s gone, but also act like it’s a little vacation for me. I get really lazy, read a lot, eat like I’m on vacation. Total indulgence.
IDK, I don't get the vibe this means she told him she was uncomfortable and he just ignored her and forced himself into her. I think OP is very bad at expressing himself and isn't explaining things very well.
maybe namecalling and insulting people is not a great strategy for getting them to accept your advice… you just come across as a bitter, angry redditor.
spending time with my kids is the highlight of my every day.
Lol yes it's so easy to type that I should just say things or that I'm being difficult, but harder to actually say things to people with feelings and argue.
Talk to a therapist. You should be celebrating this not trying to fix this. If your grandma can't put a lid on her homophobic comments, it's high time you all went no contact with her.
Don't tolerate her abuse for access to an apartment.
Look at the end of the day you’d be paying 100% without him.
If you’re ok with that break up.
This is controlling. Partners should be able to trust eachother. You have toxic ideas around relationships. Please work through this in therapy.
What's the point of a wedding if you aren't getting married?
This may well have been a spontaneous choice on her part, but in my experience women usually DO tell men what’s bothering them. Is it possible you weren’t listening or understanding the importance of what she was saying to you? Did you truly try to understand her point of view or just defend your own? You’ve already gone from “there were no reasons” to “well, we would fight…” I don’t know your relationship and j could be wrong, but I have a feeling if you really reflect you might have a better understanding.
Just get another job. These guys are so toxic. Don’t stir the pot by talking, just leave and let that speak for you.
I respect his boundaries.
I was hospitaled for a 72 hour long disassociative extreme anxiety attack (bp 150/112, pulse 92), and it was continuous and I'm still feeling the effects of it every day. Even at this very moment, my blood pressure is still extremely high and I'm “stuck” in this hell in my head that, despite me trying so many mental tools, my OCD just won't let me out of. She didn't deserve any of this, all she ever did was love my unconditionally. Life fucking sucks.
Yeah true
Some advice without the emotional weight, my biggest fear in life is getting pregnant by a man who is pro life, I would need an abortion for all sorts of reasons but he would genuinely be traumatised thinking I just murdered his kid, even though I don’t see it that way at all.
You’d have to go through that with him if you got pregnant, should you choose abortion you’d have someone in grief with absolutely no support, it would be a NIGHTMARE.
If I’m having sex with someone, I always ask before the first time if they are okay with me aborting (I’m very safe with sex but I know my family is super fertile) because of these situations, I suggest you do the same in future to avoid situations like this because regardless of how much I disagree with your boyfriend, break ups are always shitty 🙁
It's called a protection instinct. If someone broke in my house and the ones i love could be in danger, i would have shot them dead. This thief got off lucky.
Yes
Do you know what was going on his life during that point in time? He obviously remembers it so it had some effect on him. Understanding what that was might help.
Lucky you, I can’t even remember yesterday let alone a couple months ago ?
I just want to point out that this sub has a hot on for divorce and will do and say anything to get people to divorce. Not a single person here has even put a second of thought into the fact that these two are parents. Real people, Real consequences.
Divorce is not some key to a new happy life. It can be a life ruining experience. OP is not suddenly going to be free of a toxic and abusive marriage, that's not what this was. The husband thought and said a very stupid thing. He didn't literally stab her in the back.
Almost every single post here is “divorce” and if it's not divorce it's basically telling OP her husband has to grovel and apologize for the rest of his life to breathe the same air as op. People do and say stupid things all the time, their lives shouldn't be ruined for it.
OP, if you can't get over it, fine. But put some thought into it and do not ask fucking redditors for advice and make decisions based on it. Jesus Fucking Crist this sub. You have a son to think about, so think about it. Is he a bad man? a bad father? is your son better off being part of a single parent household because of this?
The husband isn't the only one who need “therapy” here, you agreeing with people on therapy? What do you want exactly? He apologized, acknowledged his stupid error. He is not going to come home from therapy with a “I fixed myself” certificate for you to hang on the wall.
You go to therapy to understand and acknowledge your issues, he's already done some of that, so he goes to therapy for what exactly? To understand and acknowledge his issues? And that helps you how?
High sex drive here. I might suggest toys and some fun play with this. I make him watch.
Adding: I am a jealous person, and if I discovered my husband let his sister sleep in our bed with him, I'd be unhappy – like why on earth… no… but I would never in a million years think they were doing anything other than sleeping or talking, it literally would never cross my mind.
The weave would make me feel more suspicious than the “flirting”, some guys don’t even realize they are flirting and are just trying to be nice. But if I found ANY item that could belong to another woman… yeah that’s a different story
Who did he cheat on you with?
What're some of the most egregious examples that you've seen?
I have an engagement and wedding ring set that I never wear because it turns out I hate the feel of jewellry and the metal turns my skin black. Not wearing the rings does not make me less married than not changing my name does. Your bf is being unreasonable and controlling. You can do better.
Right?
“I caught her in a white lie and that rocked the foundations of our relationship and I didn't trust anything.”
If this IS true, OP is probably controlling. But it sounds fake and like it was written by a 14 year old.
I met my husband when I was 15 and he was 16. We moved out together at 18 and got married at 19. I’m 38 now and we are still happily married. My husband was always very responsible, trust worthy and overall had a good head on his shoulders. Now that I’m older idk what we were thinking tbh. I have kids now and 19 is still a baby. I don’t regret it but things could have turned out differently. We got married when we were still kids and our brains had not yet even fully developed. Both of us have changed over the years but we still managed to change and grow together.
Tbh I think it wouldn’t hurt to wait. There is no hurry. One of the reasons we went ahead and got married was because of my dad being upset we were living in “sin”. My dad is religious whereas me and my husband are not. We were already engaged but planned for a long engagement until I was done with college.
Seriously there is no reason to rush
“I guess there is a little piece of me trying to hold on because I fell like he’d change”
He's 36, he isn't changing.
You sit down with him and have a serious talk, either you both go full in, or stop playing. You are not teenagers.
If he's not ready, its ok, but he should stop getting the scraps he want… youll get hung up on him and youll end regretting it.
Ugh yeah I just feel like it’s only fair for me to ask for some space after his family living here for so long
Suck it