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Have you asked your Dad why he’s mentioning his weight all the time?
I can guess why he’s doing it but ultimately, no one can answer this but your dad.
My theories: He wants PERFECTION for his little girls. If he’s mentioned it about both boyfriends, he’s sizing up the men that should meet every perfect expectation that he has for both of you.
Other theory: he’s not comfortable in his own skin so he’s putting down these other men in order to feel better about himself, but I don’t think this is the case.
Advice: Tell him how it makes you feel. Just say what you’ve said here, but to your Dad. No need to fly off the handle or tell him to F off. Just be real, honest with your feelings, it upsets you and hurts your feelings. Now, if you tell him that and he continues to do it, that’s another thing entirely.
Best of luck to you. -Serenity
No talking, no accepting apologies. No one deserves to be treated like that.bget your stuff and leave
Call him out on it when he does this. Tell him you feel like you can't win. Also, him being upset for not doing these things is emotional manipulation.
I'm not really sure exactly the difference which is partially while I'm here asking, I'm good with my money but not good at understanding the differences of these things so maybe you can help explain? It's a 40k line of credit that's tagged onto his mortgage, half of it (at least, maybe more) was racked up on things like home renos and fixing his car etc. I believe some of it is student loans. The rest is just spending miscellaneous and not really thinking it through
Nooo way everything I have would still be in my name. Absolutely no way no how would I ever link anything with anyone until it's been years. I was acrually married for 10 years and never had my own financial independence. I've finally gotten that and won't ever give it up until I'm sure… and even then
Moving in its a good thing to know and keep an eye on but not a big deal till you’re moving towards marriage. If you haven’t had that conversation yet then have it before you decide to move in. You both need to know you have the same opinions and are like minded when it comes to house work, work load, kids, religion, bills and debt.
I mean, if you haven't already realised you need to leave him I'm not sure any advice will help you.
I'm not sure if you can't afford to be on your own or you don't have support near you, but you have to realise you're in an abusive relationship, right?
Just submit, she wouldn’t give a damn if he had allergy attack and died because of course the cat is more important than his health
You are a grown adult. Grown adults don't blame others for the choices THEY decide to make. You are blaming your wife for a choice YOU decided to make. If you were unhappy, you could have just left. But you chose the easy way to satisfy your desires and then refuse to take any accountability. You have some growing up to do if you ever want a healthy relationship.
In this situation I would do whatever benefits you the most. Does bringing it up benefit you more or does not bringing it up benefit you more? Do what’s best for you not what he wants and not what is necessarily easy. If he doesn’t want to be seen as an adulterer well then he shouldn’t of cheated that’s his problem not yours. Personally I would just want an easy divorce I wouldn’t take the time for revenge or pettiness, but it’s not wrong to fight for your rights in a divorce if that’s what you want.
Even if she thinks the problem is you, it's not. You're bigger than average. She probably doesn't even know what the issue is.
I had someone “Fix” my habits. I pushed back but eventually relented as time went on because I looked at it as something wrong with me if someone wanted to change things that much. They fixed everything they could until I was just an extension of what they wanted in a partner. It has left me with a life time of resentment and self doubt.
The more you allow, the more he will do. You sleep the right amount for you at the right time for you.
I mean the best friend knows….who knows who he is telling. Btw, did she send the best friend nudes? If so, I would cut and run bc that makes their hook up premeditated and not just 'got drunk' and messed up.
Okay, now, I'm not the kind of person that is going to say someone can't prefer to date someone with a certain body type.
But this…
if I don’t lose weight he’s going to leave me like he did his previous two girlfriends (both for being overweight).
Sounds like a recurring theme that probably stems from him being hypercritical. And this…
“I don’t want to be hanging around with my friends and thinking that THEY could be thinking I could do better than you”.
Just… What? How old is he? You say 27, but I don't think he's progressed mentally from 12.
Add all that on top of the fact that you were in an accident, you are working on it, you aren't much bigger than when you met and he's even more concerned with the actual number than what you look like or whether you're healthy.
So, what would he be like if you get down to what he deems “acceptable” and then you two have a baby? Be telling you that you aren't losing the baby weight fast enough and what will his friends think while you have an infant hanging off your boob, while washing up puked on clothes and with a pile of crappy diapers to take out?
Yeck.
Look, people do date people 6 years older than them and it's fine BUT those people usually get together when they are older.
At both of your current ages it's weird and creepy. He is a grown man, you are a schoolchild. He is likely dating you because you don't have a lot of life experience, are easier to manipulate, and more likely to buy his 'you're so mature, babe. Course I love you, babe' BS than women his own age.
You say he's dated women his own age before. Why isn't he now?
You should try to go to sleep at the same time as her. This way, both of you will be unaware of her farting.
Life hacks?
You need to escalate this with HR, your manager and with the police. Up to and including a restraining order against the wife. Your husband's issues? When you are speaking with the attorney you will get – paid for by your company – you ask about divorce options.
7-7… Woman, are you a HCW? Cause the last thing you needs is this guy giving home tours overnight. My advice is you both need to talk. I wouldn’t be able to on-line with someone doing this while I’m elbow deep in fluids all night.
He has been reaching out to me for the past 2 months and I only recently responded to him… Should I just stop responding to him? We planned on meeting up one of these days
Thank you. I reached out via email explaining the argument and detailing our roles. Initially I sent it to my cousin but after no response, I sent it to my aunt so she could pass it along to him. She told me they read it and he has no response to email. He has no explanation for what I wrote. She told me it’s not like him to act like this. She is going to talk to him again. My cousin feels ashamed of his role in the argument, but he won’t take accountability. It’s very hot because his actions are causing tension within the family. I know he wants to resolve it but I don’t think knows how to do that. Also he lives overseas, which makes it difficult to resolve it in person.
Oh man.. good luck! What a crappy position to be in.
There is no way you should let your bf ruin a sport that you love. Life is too short. Keep doing you.
Any reason is a good reason to end a relationship.
Get help. That's what you need. Definitely, instead of being some insecure wannabe tough guy.
This whole workplace is liable to burst into emotional flames one day.
Like a tall poppy syndrome situation.
People will resent him because he will make them feel inadequate with his awesomeness, trying to meet his standards will feel like a chore in a friendship and they won’t be able to relax.
As he continues on his path he will find friends on the same level.
Clearly your sexual needs are not being met with this woman. She has her boundaries. Respect them. If you want you can just let go and move on knowing this will be an issue for the rest of your lives. You can also just end it. Sexual compatibility is equally important. As you are not entitled of her saying yea to your requests, she is also not entitled to you having to keep track of her pubic hair before you make a move to orally please her.
I will agree with people here, you don't want monogamy, she DOES (aside from cheating with the one guy). These are so far apart from each other, they're isn't any middle ground to be reached.
Time to throw in the towel on this relationship.
You didn’t do the same thing to him.
Regardless, who cares who behaved worse? He didn’t treat you right, you want to break up, and you are certainly entitled to do so.
Do you really think this is a good healthy relationship? Let alone marriage material?
She spent one night at her childhood friend's house and apologised when she realised it looked bad to her then BF. That's rather different from “sleeping at another dude's house”.
She tries to get a rise out of ex by discussing feelings for OP.
Plenty of “privileged” people manage to handle their frustrations better than this. But since there are real stakes in this relationship (in the form of your jointly owned real estate) you should probably try some couples counseling before you decide to bail.
Is she doing anything to attract them to her?
Does she talk and flirt with them?
Does she wear revealing clothes or inappropriate clothes?
If she does none above, abd people staring is not against the law. There is nothing you can do to stop it
If it's to much, then the only thing is for you to break up and walk away.
On top of that, she doubles down, triples down on these things it seems like. I’d allow her to date someone of the same race / skin tone if it was that much friction just to simply enjoy something without it being about a negative notion of race.
My current partner and I love talking about culture and background, but the positives of these things (we’re interracial ourselves). It’s very fun, lighthearted, and informative.
@ OP, maybe you can try to have a serious conversation with her about it, and ask if her parents feel this way, or if she dealt with racist growing up etc. We all need to respect that we all exist on this planet, in the end
I guess it’s weird for me. She’s been to plenty of parties, and hangs around guys from time to time and it’s never been an issue so far. She is so good at communicating. Invites me, sends me videos and FaceTimes me. Just involves me which is great. I think maybe it’s that she will be living with these people is what’s throwing me off. Especially with the way she’s described the guys
If it's a better situation for your daughter, then it is a great idea. If it's going to make life harder for a little kid, then it's not a great idea. I can't tell you what to do because I'm not there to see what's happening behind closed doors.
Your bf sounds like my father. He just bought a car that cost 35k that he can't afford. He has also almost lost the house at least 2x that I am aware of, and they are constantly late on all of their other bills. When the power goes off, you wonder if he paid the bill or if it is an actual power outage. That is what you have to look forward to if you continue with this guy.
Internet hugs if wanted. I get that that feels like a loss. I think if you have a happy fulfilling connection otherwise, the initial feeling of loss will subside.
Date someone your own age.
You're allowed to end a relationship that isn't working for you. It's unclear what “insight” you need when (to you at least) it seems pretty obvious that this guy just isn't as into this relationship as you are.
People forget how free love ruined lives in the 60s
Just break up with him. Do it now before he gets more attached.
My girlfriend “snoops” (not really snooping because I know she does it and I consent to it and she doesn't need to ask) on my phone, usually Instagram, because I have different kind of feed and I follow people she vaguely knows and doesn't follow herself.
She really isn't trying to be controlling, she is just curious and done with her own feed. Maybe this was the case for OP to?
Watch the world burn ?
She needs a home health aid. Have her apply for Medicaid and health services.