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I just want to give to a hug. My heart hurts so badly for you.
Absolutely file for divorce, and I would get a restraining offer and press charges for assault. Take pictures of your wounds if you haven't already. I'm not sure where you located, but check to see if there's any women's centers that offer resources or support groups.
I wish you the best of luck.
If it was her choice to quit and not go back to work, then it seems to me she needs to lay off of you. She seems to have some issues within herself that she is taking out on you. Maybe suggest therapy for her or both of you as a couple.
Is he white?
The love of your life, that's rough, sorry things ended up like this. If you think you have a chance at repairing things, I'll root for you. But if not, then really think about taking the steps towards getting away from her, even if it's painful.
Yeah, people don’t just guess when it’s formal. It that many people showed up dressed, there was notice and a formal invite at least through email.
A lot of people don’t want a child but end up loving them anyways. I was an accident, and my parents ended up having a shotgun wedding right before I was born. My dad was angry because his parents forced him to get married and be a dad when he didn’t want to, and despite everything he loved me a lot and was a great dad growing up. Till I found out I was gay anyways
You can have a job, even 2 jobs, and still not be able to afford your own place
That's like going to a job interview and deciding not to take the job. Then a few months later the company emails you to say they hired someone better.
If I’m understanding you correctly, your fear is that he DOES have feelings for you and will choose to leave his GF for you while you have no intention of leaving your BF for him. This would make you feel guilty because you’d feel like the cause of his relationship ending, correct?
Firstly: you are only responsible for your own actions and behaviour. What Sean does is his responsibility. Stop thinking/talking like you have any influence on the breakdown of his relationship… if he truly has a crush on you that’s big enough that he ends his relationship then it’s a good thing the relationship ended. His girlfriend deserves to be fully adored and be with someone 100% committed to her. If he has a crush on you and is willing to leave her, the ethical thing would be for them to break up so she can find someone committed to her and he can find someone he won’t be inclined to cheat on. It sounds like they should likely break up anyways as she is jealous (rightfully so) and he has clearly fought with her to keep having an emotional affair with you. Letting her go would be the kindest thing he could do.
Second: you’ve decided you’re committed to your boyfriend and are finally acknowledging that your close friendship with Sean has slipped into an emotional affair as you’ve caught feelings for him. If you’re truly committed to your boyfriend your next steps are as follows: – Tell Bob what’s happened. Tell him you started a friendship with Sean but have realized over time that between the lack of intimacy with Bob and all the time spent with Sean, you’ve begun to have feelings for him. Make it clear that you’re choosing Bob and want to immediately stop the emotional affair. Acknowledge the pain you’ll have caused Bob, apologize, and allow him to break up with you if this has ruined his trust in you (though at this stage, with you only just realizing that feelings have started, I don’t think he would). – Then, talk to Sean. Tell him how you’ve been feeling, what your concerns are, and that you’re still committed to Bob. Most importantly tell him that you need some space from him until you can put your budding feels for him to rest. Make clear boundaries (and ensure you’ve discussed this with Bob beforehand so that these boundaries are ones he’s comfortable with). It may look like cutting off the friendship entirely, never being alone with him, or some variation of this.
That’s the only way to save your relationship at this point imo. It’s unfortunate that you’re having to choose between a friendship and your relationship, but that’s the risk you run when having a close friendship with someone… developing feelings is not uncommon. How you deal with them is what matters and your priority (and responsibility) should be towards Bob.
Tell him intelligence is genetic too so if your kid is smart it obviously isn’t his.
You can’t force someone to be your friend. All you can do is plead your case and let the chips fall where they may.
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This is called learned helplessness. He pretends that he is listening, doesn't, and then waits for you to do it for him all over again.
If you have already explained how to do something, then don't help him again. Make him do it. If he has to figure it out the nude way, that's on him.
He owes me 4k
I think an unfortunate trend when I see these posts is, when a woman posts them she gets both advice and validation. When a man posts them he just gets advice and/or gets yelled at. Usually people need validation as well as advice. At lot of people are commenting like this is a misunderstanding rather than validate the idea that OP actually didn't do anything wrong and it is okay for him to feel upset about this.
Man, you're just going for the reddit neckbeard trifecta, aren't you? First “what if the genders were reversed” as a completely useless observation in virtually every situation, now not understanding what an ad hominem fallacy actually is and instead using it in the traditional redditor fashion of “that's fancy latin talk for that thar feller dun insultimated me.” The only thing left for you to do is announce you were trolling the whole time after you lose the argument and then bam, hat trick.
Of course that would require you to actually HAVE an argument first, and it's adorable that you think you did.
I used to do sports. Let me tell you most womens rooms in rinks are a bloody storage closet. With that you do talk strategy in the locker room and get each other through wins and losses. The smell is also horrific. The locker room is the least sexual place imo.
I'm aware that I don't know you but you wrote here clearly how your girlfriend feels (abused, ignored, looking to escape) and if you want to stay with her, you can't invalidate how she feels but you can understand, validate, acknowledge and try to make her respected, heard and loved (not by convincing her that she shouldn't feel like that but by your actions to make her feel like that.. called emotional intelligence)
TELL YOUR MOM. She might be freaked out but she would be RIGHT TO BE. I'm not your Mother and I AM FREAKED OUT.
My experience is that when they are shit or disrespectful to other women, that will be how you are treated as soon as theres no reason not to.
I don't want to have to count on someone loving me or being into me for basic respect and consideration.
Oh, sorry. I mean your language wasn't that nice, too lmao. I just hate cheaters, I have bad experiences with people like that. Especially bad experiences with people who always threaten that they will kill themselves. I don't know, maybe my life took away all that sympathy for people like that.
All I can say is… sorry that my language offended you. I wasn't having any of this shit that day. I went a little overboard
Leave him! Your own allowance? What is he your parent and you are the child? Just say no, it’s an abusive relationship and he will not change! It’s creepy as heck he’s pursuing you given the age gap. Women his own age will not put up with that abuse. True love is not abusive. What you wrote above? It’s a cringe factor.
Get the hell away from him. Block him on social media and your phone.
I see a future with him
Do you, though? It sounds like the future you see will be very unhappy if he doesn’t make some pretty dramatic life changes.
You need to make abundantly clear to him what your (legitimate) concerns and expectations are. Then it is up to him to decide if he wants to make those changes to preserve/continue the relationship or not. I suggest making a list of goals you’d like to see him achieve and make sure they each have a timeline when appropriate. You don’t need to share it with him, it’s more to keep yourself accountable so that you have a tangible reminder of those goals down the road and don’t allow your love to make more excuses for him.
I confess that with what you’ve mentioned already, I’m not feeling terribly optimistic about it. I hope he proves me wrong, but if he doesn’t, I hope you don’t waste too much more time waiting for him to grow up.
Yes, it took me 3yrs on PCOS medication.
Paternity tests should be mandatory in all cases.
A lot of people freak out about this, but look, for a lot of men, it’s important to have PROOF of paternity. This is not an accusation of cheating like a lot of people say. They can desire PROOF of paternity without accusing you of cheating. And yeah, they have your word, but that isn’t really proof now, is it? Him trusting you has absolutely no bearing on whether or not the child is his. I say it’s not a big deal. He should be able to be empathetic of your experience, but you should also be able to be empathetic of his.
You’re making assumptions. That’s not what I want. I’m feeling vulnerable and scared, and struggling. After reading all the advice on this thread I want to be as far away from him as possible actually. I just get caught up I guess in the things he says and the times he is intermittently nice to me.
My fear she was trickle truthing…there might be more to say
But then the issue comes up, would you rather have ur man call the other girl beautiful?
This. OP, from someone who’s moved around a lot, there’s no place like the place you call home. Your partner needs to be someone who wants the same thing in life. Your GF is probably amazing but your goals are different.
It seems you've already figured it out, you need to talk to her. Let her know how important this is to you and that the issue is serious enough to put your relationship in jeopardy. I think she doesn't take your concerns seriously right now. Either there needs to be a compromise or you two need to split.
Yeah this only works if you respect each other. Sometimes one partner can give a little and the other can be patient but not if one judges the other. There could possibly be a reason she feels that way like the way he said it or something he has been saying about it? But still breaking up is a good option
Honestly I would try and have a sit down talk to see if something is bothering him. It could be something completely unrelated to your guys relationship or see if being over affectionate is something that bothers him.
Thanks for the perspective – probably true it’ll be worth it to stay connected with them. I’m definitely going to be transparent if so.
My friend. I dated the same boy from freshman year to graduation and decided to stay back from a good university to get an apartment with him.
Months later we were broken up.
Please don’t pin your future to a high school romance. If it’s meant to be you’ll manage the distance.
2 hours away is not far at all wtf?
You don’t even know the name of the disorder you’re trying to diagnose a stranger with.
We havent met with the counselor in a few weeks but yeah ill definitely bring this up at the next one
Why did she go no contact?
Doesn't even have to be that. Abused partners typically make multiple attempts to leave, returning to the abuser between attempts – during any one of those she could reveal your info to Piper.
Just don't answer. Let her think it's a dead email address you no longer use.
Imagine ruining an opportunity for good sex because you suddenly transform into a giant jealous baby. That’s exactly what happened here.
I don't think you can move on in a few days. This will definitely be a long healing process and you will miss her but missing someone doesn't mean you should have them back in your life
Honestly I’d break up with her. She is creating situations for herself while crossing boundaries. She’s refusing to acknowledge she’s bringing trouble into your relationship. What happens when the next guy is not so nice? Do you want to have to wonder if you should trust her or worry about her safety? If she respected you she’d never have crossed into emotional cheating territory.
The girl he loved got engaged to someone else!
Probably