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Another user was helpful is rephrasing what your opinion.
“Bloke is saying that he thinks it's bad that you're saying to wait.
She'd be essentially using him for a few more years until she's all set, while taking his money and resources then is going to drop a bomb on the way out because she's done being reliant on him and it won't hurt her anymore.”
If that is what you meant, then are you think shes been using him all this time for his money all this time? That OP wanting to have both parents has been taking precendency over the fathers agency these past 9 years?
I think your scope is too narrow. There are many factors to consider than just the fathers right to know. I presented my thoughts to u/Rand0mredditperson who also replied to my comment.
Write down what you want to say. It will help you during the discussion.