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Hi, Indian guy here.
I won't defend the things people are saying because it's true in a lot of cases. But please consider the following:
Some guys will do an arranged marriage, no matter what. Please be careful of men who want to date and sleep around with women they consider “girlfriend material”, and then get married to someone they consider “wife material”. Not saying everyone in this category is like this, but this is prevalent, and why a lot of women on this sub have a bitter taste regarding this topic, and rightfully so. Some guys will be iffy on the topic, and it all comes down to how much they are willing to listen to themselves, vs “society and all that drama”, and what their own priorities are. The issue I mentioned above can creep in here too. Some guys will be steadfast and refuse to budge, and will disown their parents if they have to (usually never that bad, but in some rare cases yes) Some guys will be steadfast, and find a way to make it work and create a balance, and not crack under the pressure of age or what people say. And in a lot of such cases, indian parents welcome non-indian SILs DILs with open arms.
A lot depends on how traditional they are and how much of a hold they have on him. Please be careful about his intentions even if you do have a frank conversation about this. If you are still not convinced, I think the top comment was the best. “You should walk away”
Your aim is to dissuade her from doing those things as much as possible. You are just trying to control her.
I have never tried to do this specifically however everything else is accurate so thank you for clarifying.
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Just say you and that friend don’t talk anymore. People just grow apart sometimes
Aw. I’m poor too but you’re a sweetheart !!
I had a similar experience, and tbh, I rather be attracted to personality than looks. Looks fade, personalities not so much. I was in HS when I met this guy through mutual friends, he was a singer at a band (I wasn’t a fan of his band tho) but his band used to open for a lot of other bands that I did like and thus it being a small scene + mutual friends, we ended up being friends as well. At first I could tell he was into me but I wasn’t attracted to him at all, until I started getting to know him and his personality blew me Away. I could hear him talk all day. I started finding him extremely attractive due to this. We did end up dating and it didnt work out so we just ended up being friends. Years later we bumped into each-other and he had gained some weight, but he still had the confidence and that same great personality so it was like nothing had changed attraction wise. Looks aren’t everything ??♀️
Appreciate the perspective. Certainly I should establish and maintain some stronger boundaries.
I know he loves me. That doesn’t change that we are on different pages at this time. Life’s too short to wait for him.
Really hope this separation feels better asap.
Before dropping him,, you should ask and see how he responds
No he's not. He was only mentioning those things because they add relevant context.