he was curious? why? of course he just wanted to flirt with others, why would he want to do that in a healthy relationship? listen, he cheats on you, if not physically (yet) then emotionally. I honestly don't know if I would want to save a relationship with someone who is obviously bored and unfaithful.
Lol no not at all. This doesn't work I have buddies that are literally pining for a divorce over this very same thing. No one is coming home to split house work with a stay at home parent.
Don’t bring a Rose, if she wants to meet at her place, means she’s potentially down for sex, a Rose isn’t gonna set the right vibe for that. Save that Rose for Valentine’s Day
My [39M] wife [35F] of 14 years the last 6 months has experienced an increasing amount of insecurities in our marriage. She has accused me of being gay, sleeping with guys (no prior actions to give her that idea), sleeping with other girls, lying about where I was, skipping work early to see someone on my way to take her to lunch (?), and the list goes on.
Does she have body image disorder or has developed eating disorder? Have she gained too much weight lately? This may increase her insecurity that you don't find her attractive? If the sex has become infrequent (because of health related issues) it's feeding into her frenzy that you are sleeping with other people.
Back in the summer I was having health issues related to blood pressure, endocrine stuff and weight; so I got some of those magic blue pills so she wouldn't think I didn't find her attractive when things got “hot”, and I didn't want to her to feel insecure about me needing them so I didn't tell her (guess I should have).
You should've communicated your needs to her and what's you're going through. The more secret you keep the more fearful she becomes.
During all the accusing me of stuff I've asked her a number of times if she trusted me, she always refused to answer and would deflect leaving me wondering.
This called Stone walling. It happens where one partner suddenly stops responding or refuses to communicate during an argument or conflict.
Finally I wanted an answer so while she is gone on business I start to flush the pills one by one, few weeks go by and she doesn't say anything; thought cool she does trust me. Then tonight she confronts me asking where the pills went, saying some one broke in for the pills, all this crazy talk.
You are just feeding her insecurities more and more. She's oblivious to why you are using viagra. She thinks you are cheating.
The way I see it both you and her are in desparate need of couples counselling if you want to save this marriage. The more you delay more it will worsen your state of marriage.
I don't think that's the issue either. When he does want sex things are great! I do feel like in some cases he doesn't feel like I'm good enough/worth the time, which is a conversation we've had in the past. I feel like porn is a big thing for him, seeing these girls post any and everything on Instagram and reddit, having his own personal stash from exes, etc.. It just sucks that he's in that mental loop where he thinks he's not going to enjoy being with me so he makes me nervous about it and then it doesn't go well because I'm focused on not doing something weird or wrong… Granted, that was mostly in the beginning and I've gotten more comfortable with just doing what feels good and what ellicits a response from him.. But I also think that still plays a part for him anyway. Like he just thinks it's easier than being with me.
I'd love to have an open conversation with him but I don't want him to feel attacked or trapped in conversation and I don't want it to turn into an argument.. I really just needed to get out my feelings and see if others had insight! Fortunately a few of the comments I think genuinely tried to help, yours included!
You were way out of line to contact her work at ALL. It doesn’t matter what activities you have shared with her co-workers. Why on earth would you plan a personal activity during her work hours?? Do you have ANY respect for her? At all? Are you SO controlling that she is not allowed anywhere where you do NOT invade her life? It feels like you have zero respect or care for her and/or her life.
yeah we had conversation about it many times. Things just didn't work out unfortunately. Personally I need space and time here and there to get things centered. We just didn't line up, personality wise I guess. It's shitty cause she's a brilliant beautiful woman.
he was curious? why? of course he just wanted to flirt with others, why would he want to do that in a healthy relationship? listen, he cheats on you, if not physically (yet) then emotionally. I honestly don't know if I would want to save a relationship with someone who is obviously bored and unfaithful.
Lol no not at all. This doesn't work I have buddies that are literally pining for a divorce over this very same thing. No one is coming home to split house work with a stay at home parent.
Don’t bring a Rose, if she wants to meet at her place, means she’s potentially down for sex, a Rose isn’t gonna set the right vibe for that. Save that Rose for Valentine’s Day
My [39M] wife [35F] of 14 years the last 6 months has experienced an increasing amount of insecurities in our marriage. She has accused me of being gay, sleeping with guys (no prior actions to give her that idea), sleeping with other girls, lying about where I was, skipping work early to see someone on my way to take her to lunch (?), and the list goes on.
Does she have body image disorder or has developed eating disorder? Have she gained too much weight lately? This may increase her insecurity that you don't find her attractive? If the sex has become infrequent (because of health related issues) it's feeding into her frenzy that you are sleeping with other people.
Back in the summer I was having health issues related to blood pressure, endocrine stuff and weight; so I got some of those magic blue pills so she wouldn't think I didn't find her attractive when things got “hot”, and I didn't want to her to feel insecure about me needing them so I didn't tell her (guess I should have).
You should've communicated your needs to her and what's you're going through. The more secret you keep the more fearful she becomes.
During all the accusing me of stuff I've asked her a number of times if she trusted me, she always refused to answer and would deflect leaving me wondering.
This called Stone walling. It happens where one partner suddenly stops responding or refuses to communicate during an argument or conflict.
Finally I wanted an answer so while she is gone on business I start to flush the pills one by one, few weeks go by and she doesn't say anything; thought cool she does trust me. Then tonight she confronts me asking where the pills went, saying some one broke in for the pills, all this crazy talk.
You are just feeding her insecurities more and more. She's oblivious to why you are using viagra. She thinks you are cheating.
The way I see it both you and her are in desparate need of couples counselling if you want to save this marriage. The more you delay more it will worsen your state of marriage.
I don't think that's the issue either. When he does want sex things are great! I do feel like in some cases he doesn't feel like I'm good enough/worth the time, which is a conversation we've had in the past. I feel like porn is a big thing for him, seeing these girls post any and everything on Instagram and reddit, having his own personal stash from exes, etc.. It just sucks that he's in that mental loop where he thinks he's not going to enjoy being with me so he makes me nervous about it and then it doesn't go well because I'm focused on not doing something weird or wrong… Granted, that was mostly in the beginning and I've gotten more comfortable with just doing what feels good and what ellicits a response from him.. But I also think that still plays a part for him anyway. Like he just thinks it's easier than being with me.
I'd love to have an open conversation with him but I don't want him to feel attacked or trapped in conversation and I don't want it to turn into an argument.. I really just needed to get out my feelings and see if others had insight! Fortunately a few of the comments I think genuinely tried to help, yours included!
Thank you!!
You were way out of line to contact her work at ALL. It doesn’t matter what activities you have shared with her co-workers. Why on earth would you plan a personal activity during her work hours?? Do you have ANY respect for her? At all? Are you SO controlling that she is not allowed anywhere where you do NOT invade her life? It feels like you have zero respect or care for her and/or her life.
yeah we had conversation about it many times. Things just didn't work out unfortunately. Personally I need space and time here and there to get things centered. We just didn't line up, personality wise I guess. It's shitty cause she's a brilliant beautiful woman.