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Mike (Boy long black hair), Rukee (Blondie girl), 18 y.o.
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He has told me he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I told him “you can have your cake and eat it too until you have devoured the entire cake, then you won’t have any cake to eat.” It’s driving me crazy! He tells all of our friends and his family in front of me how lucky he is to have me…and acts very affectionate whenever we are together in public or private but he wants to have the ability to sleep with other people. He doesn’t like when I mention that, that should be an option for me too and so I don’t.
You have to communicate what you can and can't afford, and you also have to decide if its important to you to go on this trip. It's wrong for him to expect you to pay for this trip and it's also wrong for you to assume he is going to pay for you to go on this trip. I know you mention you think they are wealthy, but frankly, it doesn't matter – their money isn't yours.
You should suggest some alternatives for still getting to spend holiday time together. For instance, you can do Christmas with each of your own families then do something together for new years. Maybe you will each save so you can visit the other person's families for a parents birthday or something (when things are likely to be less expensive).
If it's important to have someone who can support you more financially, then you and your boyfriend may not be compatible because it sounds like he wants things to be 50/50. And if what you're saying is true, I'm not sure how much he is not really supporting himself right now (I am guessing he is still early in career/intern with lots of debt) – he gets help from his parents.
This is your reality. I don't think either of you are wrong for wanting what you want, but you just need to communicate that and come up with compromises (or decide not to compromise and move on).
You’re the exact reason I’m so vehement about young women getting into these age gap relationships. At 20 she had no idea what a man child she’d be dealing with. At 32, seems like you haven’t grown up at all
He was a high quality monogamous partner that you hurt because you wanted to get boned by other dudes. Now he loves someone else who will hopefully treat him better. Leave him alone! You just want him because you feel it’s a challenge and that excites you. Get therapy as to why you get bored in relationships and hurt people, then want to hurt them again once they have moved on. Selfish attention seeking girl!
Exactly this. Unfortunately, you've learned a very naked lesson about lending people money – DON'T. Fortunately, you've figured out that you need to dump your user boyfriend ASAP.
The way this reads is that the adderall probably boosted his confidence and motivation, but he acted on something that did interest him, regardless of the adderall. But when you started talking to another guy, reality set in and he changed his mind. But instead of admitting that, he either severely lacks emotional self awareness that he’s clueless about his feelings or how to articulate them, OR he’s defensive, conflict avoidant, or feels ashamed and doesn’t want to admit to those feelings.
Quick P.S. In the time we’ve been dating, she lost HER car. First the battery went out (it was Hybrid) and was out for 3 months. She got it back. Then she started experiencing early symptoms of blindness (I forget the correct medical term) so she couldn’t drive. Then after laser eye surgery her car finally died, and she’s yet to replace it. Never once did I tell her get over it. I just gave her rides to and from work, doctors appointments, etc. when I could.
Sure?
When I used to play I was also on a coed team as the only girl. Yes I could have used a separate change room but the change room was where everyone was, where team building happens! They'd bring a bunch of beer and start drinking before playing, then drink 1 or two after. They were a little nervous when revealing the jerseys to me… they custom ordered jerseys that were like those t-shirts that have the woman's bodies on them… like boobs in a bikini body lol. I thought it was HILARIOUS and was even more glad I decided to play on the team. The guys only really got naked in the bathroom area, and if they were very hot anywhere else I'd just avert my eyes. Super simple. I still reminisce about that team
Walnut is a good one too!
Thanks for helping.
Repeat after me
I am flattered that you feel this way but I have strict rule against dating coworkers.
Do not shit where you eat OP.
Been there. Done that.
TRUST ME…it's not worth the drama
Realistically, I’m sure this number’s in the millions.
Sorry that unanswer is unacceptable to me. I understand why you are heartbroken. This is where you consider your next steps very carefully. Is this something you can look past? Has this been a reoccurring behavior you are able to deal with?
What's your view?
That you're a troll.
You never know, if she loves and misses him enough this experience might push her over the edge and make her stand up to that piece of crap. You never know….
He sees a doctor but he’s seen her for years and there’s no progress whatsoever. He claims she’s not helping him through his issues so I told him we can find him a new doctor. He never takes the initiative to try.
Please watch the movie Swingers with Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau tonight. It will make you laugh and is very relevant to your post.
She sounds like an ass
I agree with the first part. The second is eh, but hell, internet people advice right? It wouldn't irk if it started with her perception to me, but now I am nitpicky. Still agree with this.
You're a good dude OP. Understood how you couldn't talk about this with friends for obviously reasons. Upvoted all y'all.
Just find a hobby, get some rounds with the boys and clear your head. You'll be fine. It will just take some time.
Did you read the same post I did? She let him believe she got an abortion and she was the one who blocked him, not the other way around. This was classic alienation of affection based on a couple snarky messages after a bad breakup. She created this situation by hiding the kids from him for 14 years, yet both you and her somehow blame him for not building a relationship with kids he never knew existed? That makes no sense to me.
Awww. See what a clear line of communication does! Your relationship is going to prosper should you continue to be open with one another. Bravo! Happy to see a great update!
The bigger danger if you stay is that your kid will accept this behavior.
If you leave you'll have bigger chance to find someone who will be better role model for your kid. This whole family is toxic AF.
The old man who could be your dad is openly sexualizing you while rest of the family just accepts this? Where will it end? For now it's only verbal but who knows when he'll start touching you in inappropriate manner as a “joke”
Way to tell all the world that you live! in your little US bubble.
Scholarships in other countries are not like in the US.
The bottom line is if this is out of character then you have a problem. I know plenty of men who are into their appearance, the difference is it’s a constant with them. This bizarre need for a spray tan on a business trip concerns me. Who sees any part of you from the neck down when you’re a guy wearing business attire?
I feel sorry for her boyfriend and for you
Both have been dragged into this mess and realistically should find other options.
Which is funny, because neither of them are blood related. To her or each other.
This
Lol. Girl….
These are not your kids. He gets to raise them how he likes. You can either endure it or leave. You dont get to tell him what to do.
Sounds like you need to leave….
You’re being just as manipulative as him. Chicken and egg situation. Both of y’all need to lower your pride if you want to find peace. Weaponizing sex isn’t healthy and neither is no emotional attachment. Seek out a marriage counselor who can help with repairing relationships