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Birth Date: 2003-02-26
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“He wanted to wait til I was older” says the 21 married woman.
Bb your husband is a predator. He picked you because your young and naïve. This is proven by you finding evidence of multiple cheating events and “not knowing what to do” and seemingly kind of believing it’s only text bc he was bored.
He has no redeeming feature. He is a creep. He’s trapped you, he’s cheating on you – actually physically doing it not just the pics and now he’s lying to you bv your too young or too isolated to be able to see through it.
Divorce.
I think you should tell your wife. Secrets could be eventually dangerous. You don’t tell and Jane could tell if she gets drunk again or if they get into a disagreement and it could just come out. Jane could be embarrassed because you refused her sexual advances. not because she puts the move on you. As for the texting talk to your wife about it, don’t do it behind her back.
Well, step 1 would be to seek therapy.
I'm not saying otherwise
Exactly. I’m lucky I’m financially stable enough to deal with this, but it’s just weird that he can’t be honest.
You moved in after 6 months? I would kick you out, too. I am sorry what happened to you, but your boyfriend wanted to help a kid in trouble, nothing more.
My guess is, that's the wrong call. You should see other people. If it ever comes to a decision point – her or somebody else – you can let her know where you are. You can also see her occasionally. Just protect your heart here.
I’d you don’t understand why body counts are harmful and rooted in misogyny, I doubt my explaining it to you will do much. Grow up.
But dad was the one who brought it up, he was just talking about something he was fond of when he was 12.
I don’t really go into detail just because it goes with a little bit of a more taboo kink that may or may not be received well by the audience. Essentially I’m not comfortable with humiliating/bullying him while in a certain position doing a certain thing. I’m fine with performing the actions albeit it’s not my cup of tea, but I cannot for the life of me degrade him verbally.
OP may have added that info just because everyone was calling her out for being a snob. Anyone who says the other party is racist is going to get sympathy and understanding where it was absent before.
The () wasn't in there before. I take it back:)
Obviously as relationships continue for longer, the frequency of sex decreases.
No, that's not obvious at all. Plenty of couples have very active sex lives for the duration of their relationships.
That’s upsetting for sure. Relationships end in all kinds of fucked up ways. I can almost guarantee you’ll be thanking for this in a year (or 5) when you find someone better .
No excuse for him to act like that but you also shouldn't have just taking it upon yourself to eat something without asking first
You agreed with her that watching porn constitutes cheating in your relationship. Then you watched porn.
She doesn’t “consider porn cheating”, you mutually agreed to enter into a relationship with the premise that it is. She doesn’t “think you cheated on her”. You did cheat.
Unless you take accountability for that, there’s no saving this.
Why would you want more instability?
Is being alone but in control of your life scarier than trapped in another bad relationship?
Presumably the child support went into supporting your children.
I used the term I meant. It's inclusive to trans men and nonbinary people, who exist whether you like it or not.
On Sundays, my boyfriend and I actually hang out right after we get up until we go to bed. We watch something, cook and eat together, play Switch, etc.. The routine is actually pretty much the same every Sunday. But that doesn't really bother me. Problem is now only: yesterday was not so, yesterday we have not done so much actually as good as was nothing? Personally, I also feel that we have spent little time in the last few days and have also, for example, too little cuddled. So I have then actually only out of “necessity” (and because she suggested it) made today what with my sister, so only by phone because she also lives over an hour away by train and we can not meet so evenly for money reasons also she has a social anxiety disorder and it times not so evenly goes to the city or the like. We played some old live! games and I really tried to have fun, it was kind of fun and I laughed but inside I felt … I don't know how to describe it. Inside I was rather longing for my boyfriend? Can you put it that way? I don't know.
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If you guys were older, I would probably say something different. I get from your writing that there’s a history and a relationship of substance somewhere there. I would of probably said something different if I sensed you were clearly being played or were extremely naive, out of concern. But you seem to know your worth, and are trying to be level-headed about the situation. At least if you do have to end things, you won’t walk away with regrets thinking you didn’t do what you could?
If it’s one thing that’s certain though. This girl is definitely trying to interfere with your relationship.
You’re trying to be reasonable and level-headed, but I don’t think anyone reading this post would blame you if you flipped your shit if that girl tried to pull the same thing again. Crawl into bed with the two of you while she’s drunk? Nah sis.
He needs to get to that therapy; Its the best thing for him and you.
Going through a breakup right now for this exact scenario. We were together two years and still live! together (yay, shitty economy!), but I begged and pleaded for him to start CARING. Imagine having to literally beg the person who says they love you to actually SHOW they love and respect you. We tried couples counseling, multiple long nights of heart-to-heart conversations, the whole shebang. And it'd get a little better for a week or two, but every.single.motherfucking.time it'd go back to status quo. I'd work 65-70 hour weeks, while he'd work 30 hours, and still be responsible for 95% of household maintenance. I'd walk up to him hot and ask for sex, the response would be “I'm in the middle of a (video) game with friends.
Finally broke it off two weeks ago. I still absolutely love him and I fucking desperately wish he would actually wise up and act like the 30 year old man he is, but I know it will never happen. Not permanently. It kills me right now, but long-term I know I am doing what's best for me.
Christ on a cracker, you think trans women are things? They're people you daft bigot.
Thank you this is really helpful!
Shoot back bigger.
Jesus. An alcoholic and a birth control saboteur.
Leave him in the dust….
OP and his wife are separated. He already has TWO feet out of the door. I won't be overly cynical to think she's intentionally trying to limit his options to make herself more attractive, but if she sees it as the necessary first step, then she might as well close the door and lock it. He isn't wavering, he's out. The only question remaining is whether they both want to put in the work to make opening that door again mutually worth it.
That work/effort has nothing to do with reproductive options; there are countless other ways she could ask him to show commitment to working on things — such as addressing the issues that caused them to separate in the first place (more kids absolutely was not one of them).
Yes because other than the issues from the start of our marriage we have been happy and worked hard to build a solid relationship.
Of course divorce should be the default response, there is almost no worse betrayal a wife can do to a husband than that. The only worse things I can think off are illegal things, How could you possibly stay with such a gross person? Such a selfish deceptive person that clearly only cares about themselves.
Of course she should grow up and start acting like an adult that's accountable for their actions and a parent that takes care of her children. It's the basics and she can't even do that right, she is just sorry she actually has to face the consequences of the shit has done in her life
Darn stupid bloke. Honestly.
“No, thank you. I never give out ms number. And if you haven't noticed: THIS is my wife. THIS is my wedding ring.”
Not helpful – thanks for effort but no thanks
Even though we see and text each other every day? He seemed so genuine when we first met… now I'm afraid to face the truth now. But I know you're most likely right about that.
I don't think you do anything to make her see your side. You realize she doesn't want to sacrifice anything or be held to any standard of behavior to be in a relationship with you. She wants your monogamy, your effort, your being there for her and she wants to give up nothing in return.
Trust me when I say she will have problems if you start getting attractive female friends you take to the movies, take on trips, and have sleep overs with. She will immediately see the problem if the situation is reversed.
But instead of that, just date a better breed of woman. One who values the relationship and understands boundaries exist for both men and women and not sleeping over with dating age members of the opposite sex is a completely obvious and normal boundary for someone in a monogamous relationship to be held to.
I was absolutly floored by both responses. This man is sexually assaulting his own fucking wife. Couldn't IMAGINE what this man has done or what he's capable of doing solely based on his comments.
Exact address and what you thought was the easiest way to explain are two different things.
You don't need to explain an exact address.
It's just that – an exact positioning of the house marked by a number on a street/whatever with the zip code.
I just Googled an example: 813 Howard Street Oswego NY 13126
That's an exact address.
“Well, it's a pink house next to the one with grey walls, you know, the big one, on the street next to whatever boulevard, yeah, like, with the brown roof, just left to the post office” is not.
I’ll be so mad if you don’t dump this guy over text OP. Just get on with your life, he and his friends are such garbage.
I’ll be so mad if you don’t dump this guy over text OP. Just get on with your life, he and his friends are such garbage.
Thank you ?
Tanks ?
Don't over think it, and breathe, go as slow as you want, meet in public places and see how you feel in person.
If you're inclined, hire a PI to confirm or rule out infidelity. It usually doesn't take long to get things confirmed.
Easy. Couple's therapy, first. Then your wife needs to clear up her lie by telling the community that it's actually your son, and she needs to explain why she lied about it.
This type of shit is why the block button exists
The person you replied to sentence literally starts out with “the third option”. How is that “no alternative”?
Do not shit where you eat, bro.
Hes abusive. Just dump him.
I mean they definitely went out for drinks as a team. It wouldn't be that strange.
Waking up on the couch very hot with the other stuff added on the other hand…yeah, not good.
He can walk with supportive boot. He fucked up his feet by playing basketball barefoot on the street (like 2 weeks ago), on top of barefoot running, and indoor climbing.
That's probably why his country won't do the surgery, because it's not medically necessary. The way he worded this post makes it sound like he depends on a wheelchair and needs a caretaker. He doesn't.
Applying feminine and masculine qualities to what should be basic animal attraction and mutual love language in a relationship is REALLY dumb.
Your GF's friends are giving her really bad relationship advice and it would not surprise me at all if their relationships suffer equally bad sex lives. It sounds like there is an awful lot of ego issues and circle-jerking going on here in these conversations between these friends.
Your partner doesn't sound like they really respect you (for example they don't respect your boundaries on not sharing your sex life details to their friends) nor are putting in any real effort. And you should not be made to feel indebted for the few scraps of effort they give you (for example getting silenced about the sex life issues because they throw you some “Well I show interest in your interests” bones).
Your GF sounds very immature (I actually had to re-read the ages here), I would expect rationale and reasoning like this more from people 15+ years younger. If you are the only person putting any real effort into fixing these relationship problems it will count for nothing until the other partner starts putting effort in too. Rather than subjecting yourself to some ordeal of getting falsely accused of cheating, I would recommend you give your GF an ultimatum about all these issues and commit to leaving if she refuses to meet you half-way on anything or manipulates you back into silence.
You know you're not obligated to be with him, right?
You don't need him to agree to the break up. You told him so leave.
I have two coworkers with diabetes (both are type 2 and have been diagnosed while working there). One is also raising her grandkids. They both live! completely normal lives, they just have to watch what they eat and take medicine and check their blood sugar. How much help is your girlfriend expecting?
Relationships require effort on both parts. If she implements a “rule” she must abide if you so request or you say, “fuck that, I'm never gonna be your dog. I'll be your partner, but that's all I'm offering. Take it or leave it.” She's forcing you to be her ideal man, well if that's not you, excuse yourself so she can go find him. You're a king, you're a person, you aren't anything less. Big hugs, choose yourself, you're more than worth it. You're stopping yourself from the lady that recognizes a God when she sees one!
Cause there are weirdos like yourself that have accounts dedicated to posting critical relationship advice replies to make themselves feel good. Someone like the person you responded to actually put thought into their reply. I only want those kind of replies, not yours.
Have you told him what she's said about children
Give her space to decide what treatment she feels is best for her. Is she otherwise affectionate and attentive? You are going to have to give it to her straight. You have been patient and caring, but you're not a saint. You have needs that she seems to not take into consideration. One min. late to an appointment, so she doesn't even go in? She's in no hurry to take care of the issue to be a genuine partner. Set up a timeline, decide if you want to talk to her about it or not. If there's been no movement towards resolving the issue by your deadline, then you'll need to take a another look at the relationship and decide whether you stick it out or move on. It's already been quite a while. How long does she expect you to wait?
I didn't read any of that. Headline says it all.
The best piece of advice I can give you is that if you breakup once, you will break up again. Don't do round two; ever. You're either going to breakup or get married. If you get married, you can't breakup. You always need to work out all your problems. There are no breaks or breakups. If you can't do that while dating, you won't do that while married. Drag the relationship out until the bitter end and close it out for forever if it ends.
Yikes. Let her leave, you're a bit too controlling if you ask me.