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   I feel so dumb writing this but I also feel so tormented by this and I don’t know what to do at this point. I can’t get this off my head and I feel it’s affecting the relationship with my wife.

   I knew our wedding never was going to be picture perfect but I didn’t expect my groomsman (who happened to be my wife’s friend) to try to do some underhanded shit to me on my wedding day.

   To set the stage – My wife’s friend John was my groomsman, I had my own best friend Mike as my best man. John was basically a stand in as he’s the husband of one of my wife’s bridesmaids and she wanted it even on both sides. We had a 100+ person wedding but the bridal party itself was very small. I’m not from the area and many of my childhood friends are no longer on this earth unfortunately so as far as the bridal party goes it was basically me and my best man Mike and i let my wife fill it in with her people to make it even and how she wanted it – which is how John ended up as a groomsman.

   On the day of the wedding my wife and I had not seen each other for about 24 hours, she’s getting ready with her bridesmaids I’m getting ready with my groomsman. We had a photographer in with the groomsman to take pictures.

   As I’m getting my picture taken, John my groomsman mentions that it’s funny my wife and I hired this photographer as she knew him from high school and they used to fuck. My jaw dropped and I was ready to swing on people on my wedding day, but I didn’t. I regained composure and went through with the wedding with the thought that “did my wife bang the wedding photographer she hired for our wedding?”. They went to high school together so it wasn’t far-fetched. John admitted it was just a joke but he actually kept it going while riding in a car to the wedding venue.

   It threw the entire vibe of the wedding off for me, from the guests perspective it was a beautiful wedding and the pictures and videos came out great, but my god if I could do a do over the last thing I would want is my wife’s friend as my groomsman telling me my wife banged the photographer.

   I feel like John totally ruined my wedding day memories and filled them with doubt and anger and I never should have allowed him to be a part of my day.

   I spent the night trying to figure out what was true and what wasn’t when I should have been able to enjoy the first night of my marriage without that stress and anxiety.

   When I look back on wedding pictures and memories from that day I see beautiful things all tainted by one person that wanted to be a toxic piece of shit to me. And I try so hot to separate them and it’s so hot because that seed of doubt John planted in my head that day was the last thing I needed to hear before going to get married to the love of my life and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him for thinking that was a good idea.

   I’ve told John this and he’s apologized and said he thought it was “funny” he cried said he understands if I don’t forgive him. But I’ll still never get those memories back without his thread of toxicity running through it.

   Some clarifications: John is gay, his husband was my wife’s bridesmaid/bridesman.

   Wedding was over a year ago. I know it’s rediculous I’m still thinking about this but it’s just when I see something that triggers those memories. My own wedding pics, someone else’s wedding pics, etc.

   John came up with the idea to tell me my wife banged the photographer, sold it to the photographer, photographer figured I would find it funny, and they ran with it. I begged the photographer in the moment to tell me it was a joke and instead of saying anything he just kept snapping pics of me. John eventually told me he was joking but at that point it was nude to know what to believe. They never said “in highschool” so they could have been referring to ANY TIME. Both John and the photographer knew my wife before I ever met her. This all happened in the groomsman suite just me, photographer, my best man, and John the groomsman.

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