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Makes sense to me. Never start a relationship on red flags – and you showed a few. Controlling, abusive, judgmental, unreasonable: These are reasons why he ran.
As someone that raised 4 kids and am now a grandma to a six year old, I guarantee you that no one will sleep well if you all sleep together.
OP, you're 17 and apparently going through some bad mental health. Yes, get tested, because it certainly is a possibility that you got drugged, but the fact that she acts uncomfortable doesn't necessarily mean much.
I'd be weirded out if my partner was a minor and also drinking several drinks a day to the point of passing out. It sounds like you're an alcoholic at this point, because a 16-17 year old should not be hitting 6 or more drinks a night. Hell, even a 35 year old really shouldn't be. If you are on any medication at all, please ask your doctor if there's any adverse reactions that could happen. And for the love of all things holy, stop drinking. Even if your partner did slip you something, it's not making it better that you often have booze in your system
Go to therapy Nick cannon
He still has his job, his home, his friends & family, everything else.
Meeting the child this soon, especially if custody was in flux, was a risky move. Small children need stability and consistency. It's unfortunate that your bf decided to involve you from the outset, he really should have established a routine between the two of them before you were ever involved. Too late now, but try to make sure they get one on one time without you. You're right to remove yourself from any situation where the mother is involved. This is a very new relationship, you're already spending every night together, and he's allowed you to develop an emotionally intimate relationship with his child. These choices are not reflective of forward thinking, or of putting the child's needs first. If I were you I would take several steps back, reestablish my own life apart from them, and start over slowly reintroducing myself into their routine once they have a good one.
‘Help her financially’. ‘He’s more established’
He’s got 10 years on her. There’s no risk for him. He gets to groom a kid and make her financially dependent on him to ensure she doesn’t what he wants when he wants her to do it.
Stop acting like it’s perfectly innocent or logical. Fact is, if you have ten years on a 20yo, you wish them well and let them keep growing up. Creeper dude here is only going to get worse and worse cause he doesn’t respect her.
Sounds like you’re the rebound I’d definitely move on and not care to be apart of that.. way too many red flags
Thru hikers don't do once in a lifetime hiking trips. It might have been once in a lifetime but the last one I dated did it every two years when he had enough money to do the next one. Still wasn't abandoning me – I knew the nature of his lifestyle pretty early in dating
My grandma’s eyes were blue, my grandpa’s were green. My uncle and aunt have blue eyes but my dad has them dark as the night sky, almost black. He is the spitting image of my grandpa. Genetics work like that. Your husband sounds abusive, that’s a horrible thing to say to someone you supposedly love.
Try: It really hurts my feelings when I'm telling you something important to me and you're thinking about what you're going to say instead of listening to me and when you do talk, you change the subject. I need you to be my partner and that means I need you to listen.
And if he refuses to change, you have choices to make. Active listening is a skill that can be learned.
Please don't be real
Please realize this lady is playing on your past trauma and insecurities like a flute.
I personally wouldn't be with you, I shower before work, and if I feel sexy time is coming at night, I do enjoy a bath. But I'm not showering at night if I don't want to. And wash your dang sheets. Once every 2 weeks is nasty. You sweat in your sleep, and you get bodily fluids all over from sex, man. Ew.
Break up with him if your already considering it might as well do it. If he comes back to your house like my gf did then make a logical decision at that point don’t let him manipulate you focus on yourself. I broke up with her after 4 months she came back still trying to leave to this day I deleted all photos I just leave my phone waiting for her to go through my phone.
I'm with your mom on this. Men his age who lack having their shit together don't (can't) date women their age because we'd never tolerate it, so they far too often will go for younger women who have yet to reach that level of experience and maturity, to exploit that.
What is he really bringing to your life? You're a young woman, who works, and you have your whole life ahead of you! Please don't tie yourself to someone who isn't helping you to grow and make a great life for yourself.
So it took u four times to get caught to now say “ I’m not gonna cheat no more”? U need help
Just dump him. No trust= no relationship.
Take back your own power. Your BF has already told you he's not going to do anything, so make the commitment to yourself to do something. Call her up, tell her you saw her message because that's the kind of relationship you have with your BF. Then tell her she is no longer welcome at your home for game night because you and your BF have decided to limit invitations to friends only. She is not a friend to either one of you, thus she is no longer invited.
Then re-think your relationship with your BF because he sure sounds interested in her feelings.
Yea I told him I won't be sending him more nudes, I told him to be completely honest with me and truth hurts ig
Big deal. They will get over it. Every girl deserves a good pounding on her birthday.
“I'm not using you for sex. We haven't even had sex in 2 months, so How could I possibly be using you for sex? I simply have a sex drive, and it seems to me that you no longer do. Sex is important to me. Sex is important to most people. You even physically push me away even during making out, which really hurts my feelings and makes me feel pretty shitty. If sex isn't important to you, I don't think this relationship is going to work out, because it makes me feel like you just want to be friends with me.”
Honestly, she should see a doctor, because it sounds like her birth control has destroyed her sex drive–which is not uncommon. The fact that SHE has not already decided to do this on her own, though, makes me think that your sexual needs simply aren't important to her.
Good advice. Fortunately my son is super resilient. He has been through a lot for his young age (I can’t get into specific details on this burner account), but suffice it to say that for his age he is able to rationalize a lot of difficult things in a very mature way. And I would never be unsupportive of him or of her efforts on her side to raise him. He’s my world. But seeking professional help is probably a great idea.
Be honest. It’ll give you both closure. It’s a kinder thing to do.
I read my friends and strangers on games bedtime stories ??♀️??♀️??♀️ its not weird.
He sounds like a wimp
Not when a man is involved
Nothing to feel bad about. You bought the gift, she's responsible for upkeep.
Are you gonna go to her when a controller breaks for a replacement? Of course not, and she wouldn't fucking pay anyway.
There might be overseas students in the same boat. Just walk that walk, hold your head high and enjoy your special day. It isn’t anyone’s business why your family isn’t here. You are not the star of the show at the wedding. Since they usually last all day and into the evening, I reckon you can do both. Just tell family you will be there, once you have gone through the ceremony.
Quick question: Is your family bankrolling your entire life or are YOU?
You put in the effort. You will be putting in the hours at work. You will be supporting yourself.
You decide your worth. Don't let anyone in your family say otherwise.
You're the one spiraling, yet your husband was the one who was cheated on and not told for over a decade? For starters, try not to make it about yourself. You're not the victim here unless you're saying you got taken advantage of and not that you cheated on your husband.
You move forward by taking responsibility and dealing with the consequences and not making it about yourself like you kind of seem to be doing.
Let him process. Then you two can talk about it and decide from there.
You don't have to call him barren. Pretty sure that fell out of favor at least 70 years ago.
She's all out told you she wants to cheat. There's nothing to build back up to, it's just a timebomb.
Because he knows he can manipulate you into doing what he wants.
Do you think they'd want a monogamous relationship if there they had enough options to find a girl that would be exclusive to them but would be okay with them sleeping with other girls no repercussions ? If they had the choice between the two do you believe a man would choose monogamy?
How can I make him understand that he is hurting me with this kind of behavior?
Oh sweety he already knows he's hurting you, that's the whole point. He's trying to finish isolating you so he can ramp up his abuse. He's already isolated you from friends and family, ruined your chance at a degree, and now all he has left is to make you financially reliant on him.
I don’t either! I’m just glad you saw the light before you married the dofus! Ehem… like some of us derps. My most hate phrase is “sorry you feel that way” now
You might sound like a junkie to his ears, but he sounds like a wanker to everyone! Don't let him get to you. I pick up accents everywhere I go – and yes, family and friends take the piss out of me a bit when I go to Inverness for a weekend and come back with a Highland accent. Took a year to get my “weegie” accent back after I spent 2 years on Skye and in Ullapool and sounded like a born and bred teuchter.
You be you. Get rid of the stuck up aresehole!
She really loves TS, so how can I make it up to her? Should I just wait till the concert and hope she will calm down after attending? I really dont want to breakup.
I assume you think you're coming from a good place, but trust me while your intentions probably are good, you're doing arguably the worst thing you could do. You don't know better than him, he knows his family best and trauma. You support your partner and have his back when it comes to stuff like this and if you don't well you should not be in a relationship with him.
I disagree.
Please let it all out, I feel like you know this not cool. Even if you can't label it cheating it's still really upsetting.
Do you feel like what he said was a genuine reason or a quick thought up excuse? I've heard of guys going elsewhere when they're SO isn't putting out, it doesn't make it ok, but from what you've said you guys are doing the deed, you're happy to, it's just that he's got a condition. If he doesn't like your disappointment he can just get in touch with a lesbian and find out all the tricks.
What's going on?
So what other things will he lie (or has he) about just to avoid having to discuss it? Whether or not he took out the trash or paid a bill? The bottom line is he’s a liar. You will never be able to trust him. And honestly, he lied because he felt guilty. He knew what he was doing or feeling was wrong so he lied. If it had been no big deal, he just would have told you.
she expects you will confront her.
Sun Tzu says : Don't do what your enemy expect.