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I think I know who this is and if it is, all ima say is that I was told about the situation this morning and it seems she’s been made herself clear over and over about her boundaries bro. She’s a sexual person in general but in the sense of that she likes talking about it and shit but that don’t mean she wanna fuck. Also ur lil funny jokey comments u be making may also be a reason as to why she’s pushing away cuz she clearly didn’t find them funny, but ion see u mentioning that here.
I don’t know what it is u want, she’s not that naked of a person to please bro. Just don’t be intimate point blank period, if ur confused, js let her come to you. If you can’t handle that then talk to her earnestly cuz she respects honesty. Now ima tell you I know her real well and an ultimatum is only gonna raise hell. She will humble you and make u feel stupid asl for even thinking there was an ultimatum in the first place no offense. Js like she picked u up she’ll drop you, so js really know who ur talking to cuz she’s not someone u can disrespect so easy.
Now hostility aside, if u really wanna make it work cuz u actually like her, js simply respect her time and talk to her. Don’t do that petty “I’m a victim boohoo” shit where “I’m always in wrong ?” bro man the fuck up and tell her what it is you really want. You want a relationship ? Tell her that shit and show the fuck up, like woo her romantically, take her on dates, respect her time. Cuz she done wasted too many hours on the wrong men who was only looking for a quick fuck. Hence why she got her boundaries and why she’s so big on them. If u think u different from the rest, show her that shit.
She’s not sending mixed signals. You js keep acting up weird as fuck so she pushes you away until u make it right. But keep fucking up and y’all gon stay arguing fr, just have a mature conversation with her fr.
Good luck, stay safe ?
No I absolutely agree. I guess what I was more referring to is it’s possibly more a normalised behaviour? Like I saw it a lot from boys in my age group sort of experimenting with insects as a kid. Im not condoning it by any means and I apologise if it comes off that way, it’s not intentional.
I’m a woman.
What?
Am I dumb if I stay with her because I love her?
I feel like it's horrible for you to even question that. Because why would you leave her to begin with?
Time to break up. So she wants a kid and if you don’t give in she’s going to sleep with her ex? What about that sounds reasonable? You don’t want to waste your future on a partner like that.
Title to me says she's trying to avoid a fault divorce while establishing herself and creating enough space between the event and the big d to make it blow over
It sounds like you had a really bad experience with this surgeon and it's understandable that you feel so upset by what happened. No one should ever pressure someone into doing something they are not comfortable with or make them feel disrespected. It is important to stand your ground and be true to who you are, no matter the cost. You did the right thing in being honest about how uncomfortable you were with the idea of BDSM – that's totally okay!
You need to take care of yourself first, know your boundaries and values, and place your own mental health as priority above all else. In situations like this, talking things out may not always work alone – it's also important for both parties involved to seek external support/counseling if needed before returning back into a relationship context.
I also want you to remember that any toxic relationship dynamics have nothing (absolutely nothing) to do with age or world craziness; bad behavior is unacceptable always and under all circumstances regardless of who’s involved!
Dude, bullet dodged.
Im sorry I have to add…the poor guy..he is still young! I dont know how he is going to take this, it will feel like his world come crashing down on him. Oh goshh…
Not good enough. Leave his abusive ass! You can get help and resources to find housing. Do not stay with someone who hit you!
No one should be having sex with anyone who ignores their health and hygiene to this level.
The man gave you a paradise that he knew he had and he thinks it’s no big deal. I’d be mortified if I did this. I’d also have paid attention to the many obvious symptoms.
Why are you with this man?
Because they either don't like the truth, or because they probably didn't understand what I was trying to say. Either way it's gone now so?
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The lack of consent is not even the biggest part here mate. She continues to hang out with him. She continues to see him.
And honestly? By far the biggest issue, that would 1000% have me out the door, is her saying “he's outta my league”. Holy fuck man, where is your pride?!? She literally just admitted she would date that guy if she felt she was worthy of him. Know what that makes you? The fucking consolation prize that keeps her company. Where is your pride? Does she have that in her purse?
I wouldn't take this as a sign you should break up, but you should probably slow down your plans to move in together. His past doesn't mean you should forget about him, but it could help you make smart decisions about what to do moving forward. If someone jumps in and out of relationships quickly, that doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't be with them, but you probably shouldn't be making long term plans with them so soon. You've been talking for 3 months, for some people that time is all you need to “know”, but it's still the honeymoon phase. Take some time and enjoy the relationship, but don't be surprised if things don't work out.
She is ridiculous.
He has to be a troll. Many of his answers are clearly from a really immature person.
I’m friends with Mormons here in the US and they are very strict with their beliefs. I’m not sure how it is in Spain. I’m kinda surprised she would be dating you unless you would be willing to convert. I think you need to talk to her about your concerns. Especially, if you see the potential for your relationship to grow.
But they can lay their eggs while they are spending those few hours off the human head..then they hatch and it's off to the races again. That's one way people end up with these difficult infestations.
THIS only I use OLIVE OIL. It’s a bitch to wash out but damn it works. Do it regularly until you don’t see any nits or eggs.
Daughter got them from camp one year and passed it to me. This was the only this that worked.
I edited the OP to include it. It’s literally at the top of the post now. I left it out originally because I thought it was irrelevant until people started questioning the age difference, and that’s when I thought it might be important information to include.
Sorry I can’t see my comments that’s why I reposted
I’m sure nothing creepy was happening then and I’m sure nothing creepy is happening now because that’s not something people do
Cool story.
He shot it down bc he thought I’d be “snitching on myself” since he thinks they don’t know I was talking shit. I was thinking regardless of it they were aware, it was shitty for me to do and I would rather confess that I was wrong than have another party guest tell them. it’s what I would want somebody else to do for me.
From all that I've read/seen over the years, general wisdom is that parents that are separated and happy work better for children than those that are together and not happy.
A lot of that likely depends on how amicable the split is and that can be down to approach. Also, the longer you stay together, the more likely the resentment would build and the less likely the split would be amicable… generally speaking at least.
Your boyfriend is keeping his boundaries vague to be able to fire on you if he feels something is not alright.
Be careful because this could be the prelude of him trying to isolate you from your male friends.
You were abused, albeit mentally.
Set a boundary as to which you will not go over, your mental health, your respect and all the things you give out to others and wish upon yourself. Let those boundaries be known and that you will not go over them. Your “girlfriend” is abusive mentally because she is not in a right place.
Again, her mental health is not your responsibility, you can only help out as much as you can.
What you're gonna wanna do is block her everywhere. As someone with mental health issues, don't treat her any different than someone neurotypical. She did a terrible thing and deserves the consequences. Don't worry about her “episodes”; that's her problem and she can fix it alone.
Don't even think about taking her back. She'll do it again and feel like “he'll take me back anyways.”
He's trying to go after your ex. There's no good reason for him to pay her to move otherwise.
I'm sorry,but why are you dating this person? He clearly likes saying rude things to you and then making up idiotic excuses.
He's not sorry. He's an asshole.
Tell him not to be “reactionary” about your portion sizes because you have the perfect way to lose weight. Then get up and show him the door.
I just do not understand why some women stay with men who treat them like crap.
Seems like the best idea is to leave the baby behind if you have a trusted sitter available. At 7 months, it would be nice for you and hubby to have some time as a couple.
The old rule: don't fuck people you share housing with. It's like having sex with a step sibling – what happens when you break up?
When I say he is great I mean, he isn't toxic from what I understand. My last 2 relationships were very toxic. My first was physically, mentally, and emotionally toxic. My second was only emotionally, mainly because I ended it when I noticed those red flags. The wrongs are nothing super major from what I think you may be imagining. It kind of is small things that bother me and pile up. I mean most recent conversation we had about something that bothered me was about going to the mall with his friends. He originally was opposed to the idea of the mall but I convinced him to go by using me going with him as an incentive. We ended up getting separated from them most of the time because 1 we were hungry and they weren't so we went to get food and 2 I am a slower walker then I think most people are (at least all the ones I've been around) and that particular day I was coming down with a cold so I didn't feel too well so it was worse. He would complain to me about the fact that he is going to be annoyed later about how he will hear about the fact that he went to the mall with them and wasn't even around them majority of the time. I get upset because it seems like me being there just caused a problem when I didn't even mean it to but he says he is tired of me saying that I think he didn't want me at the mall but all I was saying was that I was sorry for causing problems for being there. Since I did not want to be a problem separating him from his friends because that is what it felt like. I understood and knew he would prefer me there but was okay with me not being there. I offered to just stay somewhere inside the mall and wait but he kept saying it was fine. I even offered to take his car back and he just drive with his friends back but he denied that too.
It isn't the first time he has come to me saying his friends complain about us. It seems like a problem that we hang out a lot of the time and that they “don't hang out anymore”. I mean I get it, he suddenly has a girlfriend after being with and talking to his friends 24/7 for years. In the beginning I always tried to encourage him to hang out with his friends but he always seemed to turn it down. He does occasionally try to hang out in person with them (most of it being me trying to convince him to go because he always seems hesitant) but typically will just try to play video games with them instead without a problem. He says when he tried to tell them he wants to do things with me too and they still complain about it and he doesn't like that. Because they call him names and tell him he is just my bitch which I don't think is true and it bothers me that they believe that. At this point I am also just so used to hanging out with him (if that even matters in this)
I guess basically this wrong is that I feel like he doesn't really defend me when I feel like I am not in the wrong in most of the situations when it comes to his friends.. Idk that's why I said I needed help
I mean in my first relationship my ex always talked shit about me behind my back so everyone hated me when I wasn't even in the wrong and had proof of it. He never told me he talked shit obviously but it was later confirmed that he did. I don't believe my current boyfriend would do something like that but it still sucks that both of us (or what mainly seems like me) get shitted on by his friends. Call me selfish if you want but I believe that if I am not really in the wrong I shouldn't be getting shitted on by his friends.
UpdateMe!
Dude is lucky you are either A: a huge whuss B: don't give a shit about this girl.
He would be learning to pick up teeth with broken fingers if my buddy did that.
Just let the girl find someone better.
Seeing someone is the beginning of a romantic relationship. There is a higher interest than a case where someone has sex or flirts with no strings attached or desire for commitment. Examples, a guy hooks up with some one at a bar is not necessarily seeing the person and may not speak to them again. Friends with benefits who get flirty, sometimes sexual when not in committed relationships but are not dating, have no desire to date or kindle anything out of it. If a guy screws his friend liz sometimes before having an exclusive lady, he is not seeing or otherwise dating liz, no romantic interest, it was their sexual nonsense time. As for myself, these type of situations do not appeal to me but many people are like that.
Did you talk to her about it? I mean yeah most couples exchange gifts with each other on V day. Some don’t though. For some people it’s just another day. But if you guys agreed to exchange gifts and she didn’t get you anything that’s not right. I’d just talk to her and be honest about how it was hurtful that you guys agreed to exchange gifts but she didn’t get you anything and that’s it’s not about the gift but the thought.
So why are you there? Why is your self esteem so low that you are allowing yourself to be treated like this? Abuse always escalates. You know he’s abusive. Wake up. WAKE UP.
I'm gonna ask her tontake something with me when I see her during carnival, is very common here that people party with their group of friends never with your so or date. We are even mire extreme here, the group of friends rarely are mixed. The most common thing is to be only girls or only boys.
You are getting voted down because love bombing is a manipulation tactic by narcissistic abusers. By claiming you are a love bomber you are also telling others you are abusive and manipulating. Please look up the difference between love bombing vs. sincere showering with love and affection or gifts during the honeymoon stage of a relationship.
She broke the rules 30 times. That’s not respecting you or the marriage. I don’t think she has any intention of getting back together. I would cut your losses and continue being separated.
Bro, you can't allow this to happen, take control of your house. He needs to not be there unless you're there. How long has this been going on?
We have talked about this in the past. The biggest reason we don’t have sex often is that I currently have a health condition that makes sex painful for me. I need to have surgery to fix the issue. I don’t have health insurance so I can’t afford the procedure. I try my best to have sex as often as I can, and I do try occasionally to get him off in other ways.
Ouch, what makes you say that ? But no, they haven't met him yet, I've just told them about him/showed them some pictures
Why are you still housing them? If I was you I would have shown them the door immediately. You don’t owe your parents contact. And you don’t need to put up with them being shitty towards your partner.
Oh any by the way, the fact he went there without consent is rape. Just so we are clear here. OP, your boyfriend raped you and then tried to blame you for it. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR VAGINA. You do not bear responsibility to fix something that he thinks is a problem. If he wants something tighter, that’s a him problem, NOT a you problem.
Hey, we need to set some boundaries with your work friend. I don't mind that you have male friends, but when they become the object of all your attention while we are out and you constantly mention him in day to day life, that is a problem. I need you to distance yourself from him and go low contact. If you can't agree to that, I know where your priority lies and maybe we should go our seperate ways.
So people aren’t responsible for making bad decisions anymore. There is a difference between being a victim and making a conscience choice
The only reason I haven't thumbed up your comment is because its at 911 upvotes already, and I think OP can use that subtle reminder.
OP, your “boyfriend” is a toxic, manipulative piece of garbage. You're in a convenient relationship for him and he doesn't care about you. He cares about what it brings him and he takes advantage of that. Your family is 100% right in this and if I were your friend or your mom, I would literally pack his shit up and kick him out myself. What a douchebag. This whole “he can be so nice”… Yeah, no he's not nice. He's manipulating you and pulling you back in and also hoping to alienate you from your parents.
Because it’s obvious. Don’t do that to yourself sweetheart. I know it must hurt but imagine waking up in a few years maybe with a couple of kids and you realize you’ve wasted all those years on a guy like that. You have doubts yourself otherwise you wouldn’t be here on Reddit. All the best for your future.
Hmm yeah, that makes sense. Fuck.
I texted her now, first asking about how her day is going and saying basically that I had a great time and that it was fun hanging out with her and would like to see her again, if she’d also be interested. And also used the line of maybe next time she’ll have better luck beating me 🙂 now I wait for her response
Can I just add to the poor guy defense that he didn’t ask for any of this ?
Like you all can pile up on him for being blunt but can we acknowledge that OP sucks at communicating ?
Like she went and waxed without his knowledge then sent him a photo of a raw pussy. And she’s upset that he isn’t happy or didn’t even recognize it ?
Your girlfriend sounds genuinely annoying and she needs to get a grip. One of my exes was talked in her sleep about having to drink the liquid from the practice arrows. Another time she said “that's not a courgette that's a tucan”, she later told me it was in fact a bowl of spaghetti.
Sleep talk makes no sense. It's not based in reality. She needs to get over it.
This response is why you will never talk to your son again, hope you enjoy having no contact with your kid
In all honesty, the “love hormones” that someone feels usually last 18 months to 5 years. This sounds around the timeline, where at the 5 year mark these died off for him. It’s quite literally biological and no one’s fault. That’s why people say to marry your best friend, I believe. Because once those hormones are gone, it just matters if that person is actually compatible with you, as a friend, and therefore partner.
Maybe, if a lot of lust was involved especially, I would ask him to hang out together as one would with friends. Having common interests, etc. Learn about each other again. You might find that family feeling which is seems he’s looking for. I don’t think it’s over, I just think you need to see if you’re compatible as people. Not just lovers.
Honestly he can be loyal, amazing, patient etc but if his love language doesn’t match with yours and you’re feeling the way you do then you both need to talk about it. It’s not necessarily anyone’s fault that he’s so passive he doesn’t show physical or verbal affection like you’d like, or shower you with gifts etc. You need to find someone whose love language matches better with your needs or he should try to find a way to step up and be less passive, getting married is not the answer. Finding out if he can/will try to express affection for you is the right route.
This happened to me quite often with my ex. I completely understand how you feel. The first time, I brushed it off and didn’t say anything, but then they kept doing it even when I did speak up. It’s not necessarily about the drinking, it’s about the complete disregard to the commitment and plans they’ve made to you. I would encourage you to communicate how you feel to her and make it clear that you’re disappointed.
I can and will! Thank you so much
You obviously left out some important details like the part where you were so drunk that Brock had to help you out of your muddy clothes, wash you down in the shower, before thoroughly eating you out and then finally giving you some of his dry clothes to wear. No wonder your bf is upset.
Whether it's bi or not, that's what she can find out outside of the relationship. If you want to satisfy any curiosity you have, what is the purpose of the relationship? To have a safety net?
Sounds like a great opportunity to help out- fix a few things at first, clean a few things, try and be helpful. You will score big time with the GF I bet. Don't dare say thing, just be helpful.
Are your posts legit? Do you read your posts? Go back and re-read them and write another post asking why you’re still with him.
Come on dude, the guy sounds like he has mental issues and likely Sara’s stalker. Have a bit of self respect and walk away from a lost cause
I’m just going to say, you’re going to have a naked time getting good advice here because reddit is full of angry teenagers who hate religion and aren’t too keen on family or marriage either.
You should tell her in person.
My first assumption is, you're right, her husband is cheating on her.
OR, there's also that possibility that someone stole his profile and pics and pretending to be him. I've seen that happen before too, scammers trying to catfish and get $$ from unsuspecting people.
So, you telling her will start something, if it's really him, your friend can decide whether she wants to work things out or leave. If it's not him, at least, now he knows his identity is compromised and needs to fix it asap.
Does definitely depend on situation. Wife is a senior doctor at an ICU and colleagues often tell me how resilient she is under stress and how she excels in such situations.
On the other hand, I keep food around to throw at her at home if she forgets to eat, simply for self defense. ?
Wow you must have never made a mistake in your life.
Dude get yourself out of that situation skillfully and stealthily. Move stuff that she might mess with to a secure location. Anything personal private or important to you should be moved. Don't think that an active confrontation of her cheating will get you anything but pain. nothing good will come of that. Be the big man and work on removing her or you from the shared space and consider yourself lucky it wasn't worse. In your case the phone transgression is absolutely justified. I wish you the best.
Source….me.
There is nothing more unattractive than insecurity and possessiveness. It will be difficult for you to come back from here.
How is what she doing different than what he did? Ignore the part where he ascribes intention to her behaviors (“obviously she…”) and really think about what he is mad about?
Break it off and focus on your mum. Just don’t tell her. When she starts watching you from above, she will understand
This sounds like a disaster tbh. Clearly there is a lack of communication here. I mean you can try marriage counseling. Otherwise, I think that it is probably in your best interest to end the marriage. I mean you have to be realistic after some real effort is made. And if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work. You both will just have to move on and come up with a custody agreement and figure out how you will split up the finances, etc
So as someone who also had issues with their mom, and a daughter who saw through grandma’s bullshit as a 4 yr old and sometimes gave it back to her, I feel you here. My daughter used to butt heads with my mom as she likes to make things a power struggle with a toddler and wouldn’t “give her power” to a toddler who wanted to play like toddlers do. It was kind of hilarious. I think if I were in your position, I would try and have my daughters back here. I would probably wait until everyone cools off and have a conversation with your mom about how she needs to understand your daughter is 13, may not be the best at communicating her feelings, but she was feeling smothered in the moment and reacted, it may not have been the best reaction, but again she is 13. She apologized and tried to Communicate why she behaved that way. Your mom needs to not escalate this if she wants her granddaughter to feel comfortable around her. I would then not ask her to watch your kids again if it can be avoided. Sounds like you and your siblings had issues with your mom so it may be in your daughters best interests to not be too close with her, so she can’t pull the same crap on her. Crazy parents usually become crazy grandparents.