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What has your sister done to change your daughters view of her?
What has your sister done to change your daughters view of her?
Begging the embarrassingly obvious question…why is this the relationship you’re in?
Yeah but people are different in their conflict resolutions. Some people are like her, some are like you.
You need to come to some middle ground on this. As in, you both need to give and take on it.
I suggest giving her the space she needs, and you working on allowing her that space. At the same time, maybe you two should work through your conflict instead of fighting each other
I had an ex who had a really weird and terrible childhood. I’m talking living in the woods in tents and trailers in junkyard condition. He was one of the most meticulously clean people I’ve known, almost to a fault. If she lives at a healthy standard, her upbringing is clearly not an issue.
Am I too jaded wondering if “my sister is in town and I have to cancel” sound like a code for I have a date with someone else? It could be true, I guess.
You could let it slide. If it happens again, raise the issue.
I feel sad about this. More help is welcomed. Please and thank you. Maybe I'm to obsessive. Idk he said I've been drinking more and I'm starting to feel insecure
To be honest, one dog is where you should have set boundaries if you both couldn’t sort out training. It was irresponsible for you to get more dogs you couldn’t raise or train well. Dogs are part of the family dynamic.
I understand that you consider them his dogs, but you are able to participate and try to train them where your husband fails. You’ve agreed with them being in your household, so participate in caring for them. They actually don’t want to shit/piss in their home. Tacked responsibility for the lives you’ve chosen to [hopefully] adopt.
Spot on Dplus!
Can I just add that a healthy, mature man will not go through your phone like that. Ever! This guy broke your trust right at the beginning (before you were even bf/gf) and you didn't take the hint.
Im insecure because their was no mention of dinner.
So does she ever get to socialize? Kinda seems like she just sits in your house all day/everyday slowly going insane from loneliness and boredom.
Sadly, she's never moving out. It will debilitate all of them. Definitely dont buy a house now. Talk to him but then mentally make a mark- 6 or 12 more months and if nothing changes, you have your answer. You've been very patient and understanding, but you didn't sign up for this. She's still young and able-bodied.
What do you mean by “domineering” and “intimidating?” By way of your stature? Or by way of your actions? Both? And if by way of your actions or both, what actions?
Both. From 540+ lbs to 224lbs. Went from an obese teddy bear to a dude. Add on top of that I tend to get loud in arguments.
You're dancing around some really critical pieces of information. What do you mean by “close, physically?” Have you threatened to or become close to hitting or in some way physically abusing your wife? If so, what? How? When?
what I mean by close physically is that on two occasions during arguments, she got in my face to make her point, and it triggered something inside my brain and I grabbed her shirt collar and shook her, essentially, and told her to leave me tf alone. Never slammed her or shoved her down or anything like that. When= I don't recall, exactly, but both times within the last 12 months, most recent being approximately 5-7+ months ago.
Who asked you or mandated you to attend couples counseling and parenting classes? Your wife? Or were you legally required to?
How many children do you have? Why did you have to take parenting classes? (Besides, of course, the information about physical intimidation).
My wife asked and I felt like it would benefit us and the kids. Three children, and because she has always felt I was too hard* on them, in ANY regards to discipline. Then I started to wonder the same.
You can't convince your wife that you aren't the person she has witnessed and knows you to be. It sounds like you only just very recently started to work on yourself, and most of that involved “agreeing” to do certain things to better yourself rather than taking on the work to seek them out of your own volition.
It was of my own volition? My wife brought something to my attention. I realized she may be right. I decided to give it an honest shot. No one is making me do anything.
You need to step way, way, way back from trying to convince her that you've changed, and actually start changing.
I have. A SHIT TON.
“Agreeing to and attending” is not, on its own, necessarily positive or even meaningful change. Anyone can agree to and attend parenting classes or couples counseling. It's what you do with what you learned that matters.
I have given them an honest chance AND I have put everything I've learned from them into practice in our/my daily lives.
You need to stop trying to get your wife to fall in love with you and start doing the work for her safety and others around you. You should not be motivated soley by wanting her to love you again. You should be motivated by wanting to be a healthier partner, a healthier father, and a person whom others feel safe around.
I am only motivated by those things, not only so she'll love me again. That's how it used to be, and my ONLY motivation is to make it so again.
The fact that she had to lie to you every step of the way just proves what a monster she is. F the therapy and move on. You're going to question everything she does now and that's not a life worth having.
It’s his computer, if you don’t like it, you should probably invest in your own.
You know he's not a good person to be in a relationship with. Stop the waffle and be kind to yourself now and your future.
U didnt comprehend the time frame correctly
It's better to be single.