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108 thoughts on “MehndiShay online sex chats for YOU!”
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Son, she cheated. And given how easy it apparently was in that 45min window, not the first time. Time to set her loose and get yourself tested.
Block her everywhere. You don't need the bullshit drama excuses of I was drunk, it's just sex. Etc.
Once a cheater. Always a cheater.
He brought her back to the home you share?
She waited 2.5 years!!!
How long was she supposed to wait???
Can you go into details about how she humiliated you in public? Does she know how much it upset you before?
If she didn’t know she offended you before and you never expressed it, then to her this is the first time she’s heard of this. It might have caught her off guard.
That all being said, if she’s the type of friend to try and make you look bad whenever she can, then why are you friends with her?
Trickle truthing.
That’s not what a boundary is.
This is tricky. She probably feels quite stuck because she wants you to hang out with her but understands that it’s okay for you to hang out with your friends. She says it’s okay because she thinks it should be okay with her, but she’s still disappointed to not have that time together. Whilst it might seem like a simple thing to you, for many people, particularly women, they think it’s not okay for them to ask directly for what they want. They’ve been taught that it makes them “high maintenance”. It might help for you to give her explicit permission to ask directly for what she wants, knowing that you might still say “no”. Obviously you shouldn’t have to do this, but it can be very hot to undo that conditioning. If the relationship is otherwise good, this is a small adjustment on your end that could really improve this issue.
His options are: get the snip, condoms, end the relationship, or a dead bedroom.
His arguments: he gets body autonomy too (choosing a medical procedure or any kind of BC) and sex feels better without a condom.
Your options: save yourself some pointless emotional torment by coming of the bc, looking into other forms of non medical bc including that diaphragm that was once so popular, decide if those other options are feasible for you-not only the usual financial, medical, and potential anxieties over potential pregnancies, recognize that he’s engaging in a tactic to back you into a corner to force you to continue using the BC, realize you have the right to do what’s best for you and he can either adapt or leave, recognize that he obviously isn’t worth continuing a relationship with because he DOES NOT respect your needs and mental and physical health-and if he values you at all not more than he does having his pleasure in any way dampened-end the relationship, be okay with a dead bedroom, or submit to what he wants and continue to struggle to have a partnership with someone who isn’t actually trying to be a partner to you.
Thank you. My therapist, a medical professional, ENCOURAGED this idea.
100lbs of weight gain is no joke. That's a genuinely concerning amount for for both overall health and just basic quality of life.
Has he ever don’t stuff like taken girlfriends/ talked bad about you possible romantic interests or are you just using his past issues to convince yourself he’s a bad person
I know that's the logical answer. But I don't want to lose him.
Will your gf expect you to never speak to female work colleagues as well?
This is very much her problem and you two need to have a serious talk about how unrealistic and controlling she is being.
Have you told him how you would like him to respond to your signals?
She's trapped into his situation.
You're making a lot of excuses for this woman cheating on her bf, and not actually being transparent with you from the start.
Plus my children are small and still think their wife and me are in love … ? So they're not ready I think. Maybe I'm not ready too to on-line again with someone.
Why are you already thinking about moving in? Get your priorities straight. Your primary task is to prioritise your kids and create a stable environment for them.
This woman is a mess and you shouldn't engage with her until she has her life sorted out.
Give “The Squeaky Wheel” by the Dear Hunter a listen. That and the song that comes after in the album is what comes to mind to situations like these.
Maybe it's because i'm a man but I don't see why this should bother you.
Is it like the female version of a man being told his erection isn't stiff enough or big enough?
I don't see why it would be. You're in your 30s. Of course you're not going to get wet as fast and easy now as you did in your 20s. I promise you his penis isn't quite performing like it did in his 20s either. lol
Okay. I just read what I typed and the more I discuss it like this, the more I start to see why this bothered you. lol. It's easy to forget that women can experience their own feelings of insecurity about their body too.
As men we come to see sex as something that comes so easily and naturally to women that it's easy to forget you have your own insecurities and hangups too.
I promise you he didn't mean anything negative by it.
I'd say tell him why it bothered you but try not to sound hostile or defensive because I truly think that much like me until I typed and read what I said here…he probably didn't even realize that this would be the same as a man being told his penis isn't very hot enough.
The advice you need has already been written for you, by one of the greatest mathematical thinkers in history. Put “beautiful mind blonde” in a youtube search. The only way that you both win and both maintain your friendship is by NOT doing anything, you both don't go for the girl. You both win.
Updateme!
This can’t be real? Are you trolling? Girl, it’s his hair appt! Let him go by himself. It’s not a big deal. It’d be nice to meet his barber?! They’re not best friends lol. The guy just cuts his hair for a living lol
Then support her. Maybe she was drunk, tripped and fell. It's happened to me.
Quit acting like a door mat and leave this piece of shit.
I would give it another month and then tell him that you need his ring size so that you can get him an engagement ring, as you plan to propose.
I have asked him because that was the first thing that came to my mind and he said there is no one else at all and this is just strictly something going on within himself.
You can’t stay with her because of that. You need to leave her in the care of someone else, like her mother, who knows the situation and can look after her.
You fucked around and are now finding out. Next time don’t pressure someone into sexual acts, twice!, that leave them traumatised and actually consider your partner instead of me, me, me. He needs therapy and to be away from you since it is re-traumatising him every time you have sex. He doesn’t see you the same anymore. If you do love him, and none of your actions leading up to this say you do, then left him go.
Relationships rarely a have a fixed date of origination and they just kind of drift organically toward either some level of commitment or dissolution. So you can't really fault this guy for keeping his options open prior to getting more serious with you ('cause that's basically just called “dating”). But if he started getting psycho territorial about you immediately that's a huge red flag. Even minus the glaring double standard, people who try to cut their dating partner's off from friends are just insecure, jealous and they don't trust you. That he exchanged some loaded texts with someone else early on in your dating process is infinitely less important than that he seems to believe you're just dying to jump into bed with all your male friends.
You never need a reason to leave a relationship but this is a pretty darn good one. Zero respect, no effort, you deserve way better
I don’t know what to do.
Put space between you and him, go date other people?
It sucks. Life lesson, believe it or not almost everyone has been there. Hurt, learn, move on
Get a restraining order, a lawyer and sue his ass.
You make a lot of assumptions for someone with limited info but to each their own. I was trying to be concise but I can see that I've mislead at least you.
So let me clear up one thing for you, no, it's not definite that I will for sure be meeting them. As stated previously, they literally on-line on separate continents. So far, they do not know dad is dating anyone, so obviously do not know about me. Also as stated before, this is because we were holding off until we knew what exactly was going on and if we were actually in a serious relationship. 6 months in, we've decided it's apparently more and it's killing him that they don't know.
All of that above, he's planning to tell them about me in the next few weeks. IF they want to, then I will likely meet them this summer at some point. Again, living extraordinarily far away, obviously meeting would be tough. But both plan to come home for a visit over the summer (typically both do for a month or two, they both do remote work so it's easy for them). But, I'll reiterate, both myself and my boyfriend will absolutely leave it up to them if they want to meet me. If they don't, then I'll keep a respectful distance. Neither of us want to force anything on them, at all. In any sense.
I hope I've cleared at least a few things up for you here.
Why the fuck would someone buy presents for their ex? If I were you I would break up with this guy and start sending him your gift requests.
A lot of 20 years olds who say they don't want kids, change their mind. I'm saying this as a woman who is child free. Many of my “childfree” friends ( when we were 20 ) have kids now lol
I wouldn’t say it was 3 years wasted, like I said he really was a great bf. That’s why I’m so conflicted, I think my main thing is that that am I willing to go through the process of trusting him again
This can't be anything other than rage bait, it's too horrifying to even comprehend.
Ahhh, see, that's a tricky factor. Honestly if at the time you had rode the momentum I would be for it. But randomly messaging after a while of no contact [given you weren't really connected per se] does make it drift back into the creepy range.
Still, a polite 'Hey, I am back in town and I dunno, thought I might reach out since we kinda vibed' sort of thing could work.
It’s a little very hot to tell from this if you’re expecting too much or he is giving too little.
The first thing that jumps out at me is that you’re talking every day throughout the day. I wonder if this has you guys in a “quantity over quality” rut.
Like, if my husband wanted to be chatting constantly throughout the day I would probably want a little space in the evenings too.
It probably feels comforting, but it also means you’re probably using up all of your conversation time on relatively mundane chitchat, rather than actually connecting with one another in less continual but deeper exchanges.
I guess my advice is to focus on quality rather than quantity. You’re already interacting all day long, and on top of that you want good morning and good night texts, evening hangouts, etc.
Why not cool it on the all-day talking and instead work on more deliberate and focused time together.
As an agnostic atheist, I agree with everything everyone is saying here. But I'd like to play devil's advocate before giving my suggestion.
Devil's advocate:
– Uncircumcised penises are at higher risk of certain illnesses like urinary tract infection and even cancer, in more extreme cases. There's ample evidence of this. This is largely due to an uncircumcised penis requiring more thorough cleaning to ensure good hygiene due to more skin, more flaps and folds, and harder to reach areas.
– A cut (circumcised) penis eliminates almost all risk of phimosis and balanitis, both of which can cause inflammation and infections.
– Being cut is more aesthetically pleasing, from a subjective standpoint. Subjectively, an uncut penis looks funny when flaccid, and while erect, the excess skin can look weird to some people. But this may be largely due to cultural norms, given the society in which one is raised.
– Religion can offer a good, fundamental, moral compass. Key word: “can”. In many religions, there exists some good teachings. IE: “Treat your neighbor as you'd like to be treated yourself”, for example. Yes, as atheists, we are all aware of the contradictions, bad practices, bad practitioners, and close-minded, judgmental behavior religion can bring about in some people — however, as devil's advocate, it must also be recognized that religions “CAN” offer some good teachings as well.
Suggestion:
– Research the pro's and con's about circumcision and consult a medical professional or two about it. Weigh the pro's and con's and decide which option you think will be best for your future children from both a tangible standpoint (like greater chances at preventing health complications) and intangible standpoint (like the emotional baggage letting them decide because you don't feel right about deciding for them versus stepping up and making a choice for them).
– About religion, this has to be thoroughly discussed with your BF or future fiancé. Since you are both atheists, I trust that you will use logic and rationality to figure it out. I just hope you can both tap into certain emotional / instinctive aspects of the decision and navigate through these things with clear mind and heart to find the best solution for you and your future family's future. Don't be hastily decisive on this one. A good partnership, IMO, is able to communicate well, work as a team, and come to mutual agreements, whether it's meeting in the middle in certain decisions, or fully committing on what would be best.
All the best.
Yeah when she said that they hadn’t had the talk about how sexting is cheating and not ok, I was like…we have to specify that now?? Jfc, thanks, I hate it.
PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO DELETE POSTS WITH 500 UPVOTES AND 300 COMMENTS.
PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO DELETE POSTS WITH 500 UPVOTES AND 300 COMMENTS.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all. Idk if i mentioned it in the post, but the max amount of time I’ve went without a job was 6 months.. Not including the month I was put off for surgery. Honestly wasn’t a Psych major when we started dating, I didn’t know what I wanted to be and I was paying for my own classes (which is why it’s taken me so long to get my degree). And he may feel that way, and that’s completely his right.
It’s my marriage of 10 years. I’m not sure how I don’t take it personally.
Why do I feel like they got upset, about the kind of thing, they would laugh at if it didn't come from you? I have more banter with coworkers I know for 4 months. Those friends of his do not like, since they don't want to like you.
I feel like I am missing the info, about your husband attitude, in all of this. Was he on your side, or did he defend his friends? What has he done to make-up for his mistakes, and so on.
(and so was one of them!)
Not sure why the surprise, I was and am at risk (lungs weakened due to asthma history) and was working at supermarket in the beginning of pandemic. It is what it is (got covid like 3 times by now). It doesn't matter, that he should have put you at risk of course, but if he is people's person than him being locked up for many months was never going to happen.
I honestly wouldn't continue in a relationship with someone who refuses to explain why she wants to keep you hidden. Especially when she refuses to acknowledge how this is making you feel.
I would look into Love languages. Not everybody need the same things to feel loved and that's really important to understand what your partner need. Not just what you think is enough or not necessary. If you need to force yourself to give the love language that she need, then I don't know what to tell you. But if it's just from a place of not understanding yet how important it is, then it's normal.
Next, you need to figure out what you need and what is your boundary. Are you ok if you remain friend and you never end up in a relationship again. Are you ok if it only develop into FwB. Or is the option good option for you is staying friend with the goal of ending up in a relationship if possible. Depending on your answer you might want to put boundaries to the relationship. If you are ok with being friend, but with the goal of dating again, then tell her that. If she just want a friend or fwb, you should know. If you are not ready to be in an ambiguous relationship for months, then don't put yourself in that situation.
A relationship need equal effort and so she need to work on her communication as much as you need to work on your love language. She is just as much to blame for the break up as you. She need to communicate when things are not ok, not just break it up.
she wanted to be placed on the deed
What the heck? Hell no.
So you're telling me that this man has had the same phone for 8+ years?
Focus on your school. Decide what to do with him after you complete your school work. That HAS to come first.
Dump his ass. This is sexual assault.
You make a really good point. That is patronizing. When she vents I do only listen, fortunately I have learned that lesson in the past quite a few times. That's just my personal feelings on some of the people she tells me about is all.
You are right though. I very much appreciate your comment and for reading my post friend, I think I will point out my mistake tomorrow and try to relax a little. Cheers
He's too old to be pulling this immature insecurity bullshit. Value yourself.
My dude literally wont go first. Refuses.
He's know this information from day 1 but chose to become exclusive with you nonetheless. It's now a problem 5 months later?
What trust is there to re-gain? You didn't do anything wrong. But even if you did, you've shown over 5 months whether you can be trusted or not.
It’s a defense mechanism, and he probably doesn’t have a good handle on his emotions which might be why he doesn’t talk about it and makes drastic decisions so quickly. I don’t know either of you so it’s very hot to really say, but does he ever talk to you about the way he feels? How do you react? How is he when making decisions, are they usually emotionally driven? In my opinion it’s like a fight or flight response and the feeling he’s feeling is, I need to get out of this situation now and it’ll hurt less if I end it first.
It can change, it just depends if he’s receptive and self aware with what’s going on. I mean, ask him why he does it and see what he says. There’s so many factors that come into play, just don’t give up on him. I’m sure he loves you and would be devastated if you split. He just needs some help.
Side note – This is just my opinion as I have the same problem as your boyfriend..
Thank you ?
My dude,
Strangers on the internet can’t answer this for you. If you think this girl is “the one” then take the necessary steps to move close to her and to date and discover more about each other.
My dude,
Strangers on the internet can’t answer this for you. If you think this girl is “the one” then take the necessary steps to move close to her and to date and discover more about each other.
My gay best friend is reading this over my shoulder and he said to tell you “are you insane, inserting a dick into an ass is work, that does not just happen by accident, he's clearly out to do anal with you whether you want it or not.”
You are
You just dodged a major bullet. imagine married & being cheated on for the next 50 years.
You should not be embarrassed as its HIM cheating, not you. Use the situation to get some support from the leasing manager.
I feel like you are being used by him for the tenancy. what a selfish prick!
Bro what you did was so fucked it doesn’t matter if this is true. You’re just gonna have to accept that you are correct, all guys can be scary, and the one she’s most scared of is you. Please leave this girl as much space as she requires and leave her alone if she dumps you.
Ngl 20 should even be a red flag bro
Maybe. But I've know girls just mean hearted enough to do something like that…just to add another layer of hurt.
It’s also serious signs of emotional abuse. First step is to alienate you from your support system and make him #1 at all times. Speaking from experience, even if it hurts, leave him NOW. You’ve grown into a beautiful, confident woman and that threatens his masculinity. Stay, and unfortunately it will progress into “what the fuck have I done with my life?” You’re supposed to be his partner, not his mommy.
Much love my dear, I hope all works out for you whatever you decide. I envy the amount of self worth that you’re already seeing in yourself. Keep growing!
Ok so more than anything.. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! It sounds like you have taken control of your health. Super inspirational (: So yeah just have a serious talk with him about what’s going on. Maybe he feels inferior or less attractive or healthy? I think an open conversation is the best way to go. Please keep up your self care!!! (:
I have thought of that.. maybe you are right but it would be soo painful
amazing work detective.
Yeah, don't marry her. Her “friends” will have sex with her, because that's just how they are. Run OP.
Yeah, don't marry her. Her “friends” will have sex with her, because that's just how they are. Run OP.
53 and 32? Nonce
“I was completely blindsided” is usually code word for “I missed every sign over the past period that was right in front of me”. Perhaps reflect on previous arguments or moments of tension.
In 20 years you will be changing his diapers and driving him to chemo visits. You’ll easily be a widow in your 40s or 50s.
For some relationships that’s worth it, because there’s real love. But I don’t see love here, not from his side at least.
In 20 years you will be changing his diapers and driving him to chemo visits. You’ll easily be a widow in your 40s or 50s.
For some relationships that’s worth it, because there’s real love. But I don’t see love here, not from his side at least.
“But he is such a great guy” and then explains how he is not such a great guy
100% wasn't meant for you
He knows he needs to pay you back hun, he’s 36! He also knew when he took that money from your young self that he was going to manipulate you into feeling guilty about needing it back before never bringing the debt up. He was also aware that 1000$ was a lot of money to you! There are rich 25 year olds, stupid 25 year olds and 25 year olds who feel a grand is a ton of money!
I don’t think he is going to pay you.
Sounds like you need to get a new therapist.
Sounds like you need to get a new therapist.
Leave him and start over.
Is he abusing alcohol or drugs? A stark change in behavior may signal something is terribly wrong, and he may be dependent on substances as a way to grieve. Either way, get to a safe place and away from him.
No, she was ready to give me a child but not tell me about that night between them 3.
Ask your Dad how God could allow that guy to rape the 13 year old TWO THOUSAND times. Ask him how god can allow young children to be raped and killed. I could go on and on. I was raised Catholic and still want to believe in God, but it's very hot.
This clearly is about more than laundry baskets. He either needs to work on figuring out how to manage his emotions in a reasonable way or you may want to get out. He's bottling things he should be talking about (“closer and closer to on-line in roommates that fuck and he is tired of not getting respect in his life”), and even when it comes to the time when you should be talking it out like reasonable people, he explodes and storms out? Do you want to be with someone who handles life like that?
That is a valid point! I will be having this talk with her later this evening. It's unnecessary stress. Thank you for your input!
This shit doesnt make sense. First you say you brought your child into the world and then the next thing you’re pregnant and after that your sister in law wants to be the surrogate of a child that was already born/conceived. OP wtf.
I did. I thought something bad happened.
Cause there are weirdos like yourself that have accounts dedicated to posting critical relationship advice replies to make themselves feel good. Someone like the person you responded to actually put thought into their reply. I only want those kind of replies, not yours.
Gross. No.
He is not making you happy now, and if you go along with what he wants it wont make you happy. If he goes along with what you want, it won't make HIM happy. So, no, you do not make each other “SO happy.” In fact, you're making each other miserable.
Your relationship is over. Spend your energy managing those feelings, not trying to make a car out of gas drive.
This person is a danger to your children. You should leave him.
I noticed that once I started wearing a ring, women were just nicer to me. I was no longer a threat to them. I was just a person and they could treat me like a person. Maybe that's what is going on here.
Yes I can phrasing of that sentence was a bit strange. I should of said she hasn’t brought it up since and yes that’s a clear indication she does not want it. And yes if she wants to divorce me for this then that’s her choice but at the moment things are fine and she does not give me any indication that she is trying to leave me. Unless of course she’s going behind my back which is completely out of her character and wouldn’t make sense given the alternatives of leaving me or just honestly having an additional partner. But again I didn’t bring it up again and yes thank you for your comment.
You're here making assumptions. You need to talk about it. If you're adamant about leaving the city, then state as much. As a father, I'd certainly argue the benefits of living near family, but it logically means nothing if you're miserable. Talk to your fiance. Good luck.
Work out what you want in your mind before you go over, she is married to your husbands best man and presumably best friend.
If you don't want her in your life, then have that discussion with your husband.
But to be clear I would absolutely be putting boundaries in place with him continuing a friendship with her after her expression of desire.
If you think it will be therapeutic to meet up and yell at her, then sure go for it. but otherwise, is there anything you really want to hear from her that hasn't been said already.
Work out what you want in your mind before you go over, she is married to your husbands best man and presumably best friend.
If you don't want her in your life, then have that discussion with your husband.
But to be clear I would absolutely be putting boundaries in place with him continuing a friendship with her after her expression of desire.
If you think it will be therapeutic to meet up and yell at her, then sure go for it. but otherwise, is there anything you really want to hear from her that hasn't been said already.
ah i love you all im not ALONE she also said this to me like bitch i grew up traumatized too but ive been in therapy for the last 4 years and done some cool shit to better myself
Things dont just happen to you you need to put in the work to get the work!!
This would bother me too. It's not that he looked, it's that he did it while on a call with you. Wether he'd get caught or not.
Living a stereotype, all you need now is a fella that'll treat you nice but you treat him like shit. Take accountability for your poor choice in men and leave the bad boy or don't come on social media crying ” there's no good men!”
You are young and you are dumb. Listen to us and run.
She asked for a break then slept with another guy? Yeah that was planned. And I recommend you let her go. If you don’t want to burn bridges you can tell her you really enjoy time with her, maybe get her a small gift, before leaving her.
I got my ex a Christmas present after she cheated on me (December 14th), hugged her, kissed her, gave her the gift of her dreams, then gently broke up with her. We’re not “friends”, but she’s been willing to help me when I needed help afterwards.
He’s abusive, and I’m guessing he picked someone a decade younger so that you’ll think he knows better than you about everything. Please know this won’t ever get better. Physical abusers always start with verbal abuse. He’s trying to see what he can get away with. It’s fine to ghost this mf if you have somewhere you can disappear to, so that he can’t continue to manipulate you into staying with him.
You: “hey those jokes bother me”
Her: “i don’t care – the satisfaction I get from making fun of you is more important than how it makes you feel.”
Now why would you want to be with someone that actively disregards your feelings? A caring partner would say “oh i didn’t realize they bothered you. I’m sorry. I’ll stop.”
Are the paintings really good? Does she sell them?
If not, she wants someone to display them. (You)
Always three sides, and reaching out to strangers or anyone outside of your marriage circle, I would have a serious conversation with him about restructuring your lives and instead of keeping score of who does what, keep score of downtime of each other.
You don’t have to endure this, I really say that with compassion for YOU and your life. You shouldn’t have to tiptoe around your partner. You shouldn’t be the only one working on the relationship. You don’t have to on-line this way
I dated East Asian guys and found a lot of them to be extremely uptight about sex, sexual identity, and emotions. I’m too old for K-pop, I dated an Asian guy when young and thought he was so handsome and funny, but our relationship fell apart for Reasons. I kept on trying to recreate that with other Asian guys until I learned my lesson. Had a pretty bad experience. After that I gave up. (I’m White American gen X)
There’s varying levels of friendship. It seems that you consider her to be in your inner circle, whereas she might consider you in her outer circle. I’m only speculating of course, based on what’s written and assumptions….
I understand your disappointment and frustration with her forgetting your birthday. Do you have the same circle of mutual friends?